Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Tag: life

    • Opinion Page

      Posted at 5:55 pm by kayewer, on March 1, 2025

      Wouldn’t it be a strange world if the only opinion that mattered was your own? It may seem perfect to you, because you would no longer become upset by a different point of view.

      Imagine, though, how difficult it would be to find one person who was exactly like you in every idea, concept, and span of knowledge. It’s impossible to do, because every human being has a different story and, therefore, different opinions on everything.

      Often we want to destroy or alter opinions which are not our own. From the earliest days of man, when people dared to call the world round and germs visible only with enlarging technology an important part of our lives, to today’s polarizing protests and fearmongering about defining what we are, believe, say, or do, there has always been room for two opposing ideas. It took a lot of growing and compromising to get there, however.

      In her school days, my mother, a National Honor Society member, presented a report with a brown and turquoise book cover. She received points off. Nobody uses brown and turquoise together, the teacher said. The rule must have been written in stone somewhere.

      I, too, have been blasted for having opinions all my life, and so has everybody else. Sometimes, however, the things we’re criticized for have little overall effect and can be rather silly. When I was a kid, for example, one of my favorite breakfast leftovers was hamburger and gravy on a soft slice of white bread; when I presented that idea for a theme on what we ate in the morning, my teacher acted as if I had said strychnine. Just because she never had dinner leftovers for breakfast, nobody else could have them, either. So said she, so it was, at least back then, written in stone. I got points off.

      Remember that beer commercial in which the two sides argued, “Tastes great,” and “Less filling?” Until they came out with an ad that clarified it had both attributes, it was a pop culture argument with no true winner, and that can be frustrating. Perhaps there are no “winners,” but simply “compromises.”

      Nobody has the exact same opinion on everything, which is what gives us individuality of character. Often our differences are meaningless, such as people from South Jersey calling a certain spicy meat product Taylor’s Pork Roll, while in North Jersey it’s called Taylor Ham (true story). A hoagie is a sub in some places. Soda is pop or tonic. These are small things which do not have an effect on daily life. Both camps live harmoniously.

      When we delve into politics or social issues, however, the arguments become chaotic or even violent when opinions differ. When it comes to human life in particular, sometimes people are in favor of everybody suffering collectively. They don’t offer good reasons or even compassion or financial help: everybody simply must get in the pool of misery and keep quiet about it.

      Politics is a slippery course to wade through, because those in favor of one party often act as if those on the other side are all evildoers deserving of annihilation. Remember, the only people who belong are those who are exactly the same as you.

      So today I was hoisted up for a shaming session because my opinion wasn’t the same as a celebrity’s. Shame on me. At least the argument was not over pork roll or ham. Also, I didn’t say the person was wrong; just that my experience was different. We can all get along and still not agree.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged life, love, mental-health, philosophy, politics
    • School Wisdom

      Posted at 1:20 pm by kayewer, on February 23, 2025

      (Originally Published September 03, 2017)

      Take it from somebody who has been there: if you get to school and wind up getting bullied, it’s not about you, but them. I lived through some powerful antagonism when I was in school, and my future came out okay.

      School is not really about who you are now, but what you need to build now to be better later. The truth is that you are all learning together, and you rise or fall differently all the time. Some days you sail through everything, but the next day nothing is right, and you may wind up walking through those doors and finding everybody else seems to be up while you’re down. It’s okay. It happens that way. Just heave a sigh and make it through one day, and the next day will change. It always does.

      The bullies always make it seem as if they are in the know and you are not. How do they know anything? Did they take a smart pill? Are they on a fast track to rushing through life without knowing what they’re doing? You’re all on the same track, but while some folks know some things about a lot of things, others know a lot about one or two things. That’s all okay: that’s what makes us individuals.

      Somebody may pick on you and say you’re ugly. The truth is, they’re probably feeling kind of ugly, and that is scary for everybody your age. You’re all changing so fast, it’s hard to look great every day, but your folks still make you go to school. So you woke up on the right side of the bed that morning, and they didn’t, or vice versa. They have the issues, not you.

      They may hate your clothes, or your accessories, because theirs are “better,” but that’s their opinion. Clothes get outgrown, break zippers or get stains that don’t come out, whether they cost $10.99 or $1,099.00. The difference is that you can replace the $10.99 ones easier, and the folks who spend $1,099.00 are simply broker faster.

      When a bully picks on something about you, have you ever noticed that they look a little nervous or scared? That’s because they’re having issues, and they’re taking it out on you. They don’t know you, or why you are yourself and not like them. They wonder if what you are is okay, just like they wonder if what they are is okay. Insecurity is part of anger, and it’s powerful. You really have nothing to do with their problems. They never come out and offer you a way to get their better clothes or accessories or beauty secrets to lend you a hand up to where they are in their lofty superiority, do they? So it’s not about that at all. They will get where they need to be, and it won’t be because they had to walk over you to get there, but because they applied themselves, just as you will.

      It’s been a long time since I got out of school, and some of the people who were bound to come out this way or that are nowhere to be found today. They’re not on magazine covers, that’s for sure. That’s because it’s all just about building yourself when you’re in school. When it’s over, you’ll be moving on to better things. Don’t pay the bullies any mind. We all get where we are destined to go, in much the same way. Your parents will tell you about the school bullies, the nerds, the unpopular ones, the beauties and the wallflowers they knew. This has gone on for ages. The bad ones get theirs, and the good ones still reach their goals.

      You won’t be this version of you forever. Look at the goal; that’s nothing to be afraid of.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged bullying, education, life, mental-health, writing
    • Blustomers

      Posted at 1:17 pm by kayewer, on February 23, 2025

      (Originally Posted May 19, 2019)

      What makes a good customer? Good manners. What makes good customer service associates? Same thing.

      We seem to have forgotten that over the past few years. Being on the giving end, I see many bad customers, and I hope nobody ever perceives me as being bad at my job just because I give news a customer doesn’t like, but some folks try anybody’s patience without even saying anything.

      My customer contact is small, but in my office are several dozen people taking phone calls, and a few miles away I know that a branch office gets many visitors every day. If you’ve worked in customer service for a while, you know you’re bound to deal with people who get the day started by being annoying. The worst? First call of the day. It sets the tone for the next eight hours, and the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet (for the customer or the associate).

      It used to be the bad customer was once a week if that often. Now it can be two to three times a day. Sometimes it’s by the same person all three times, especially on the phone. When you work in a phone contact center, it’s not hard to pinpoint who is dealing with a difficult person. The conversation usually becomes a shouting match, and it’s the phone associate who gets their ears pounded.

      In public contact jobs, it’s important to be civil and service minded, but we call come to work in different frames of mind, and if you find somebody behind the counter who is having a hard time giving a good first impression, yelling won’t help.

      If I could give a future customer with a complaint one bit of advice, I’d say take a step back before you storm in. Start your experience with a polite greeting, then say you have an issue and be prepared to state your case calmly and with facts only.

      The two most annoying words ever uttered by a customer might well be, “you people.” It’s in emails and uttered a few times a day by fuming folks who would serve their blood pressure better by pausing a minute before launching the big guns (namely their vocal chords) at somebody. I would like to remove them from usage. Imagine having a bone to pick, and you start out by making the person who can tip the scales of customer satisfaction in your favor start to doubt if the encounter will end without somebody exploding first. There is no conspiracy brotherhood in customer service aimed at making your experience bad, and besides, we are all people.

      A person recently read off a phone rep for calling her ma’am because she said that was similar to using the dreaded “N word.” The person fielding the call was black. So much for starting off that experience right, your ladyship. Plus, I never heard of that reference anywhere (if somebody has, please clue me in where it started). Anyway, this particular person had a religious title revealed only after this exchange. That was on them.

      Sometimes a bad customer simply talks over the person trying to help, as if filibuster alone will solve everything. Simply listening to your customer associate will impart plenty of knowledge and a sense of what may have gone wrong, if you give them a chance to get it out.

      One time I got an email from a customer which started out saying our website sucked because they could not log in. The problem was not the site: the customer had simply never opened an account to log into. No, I didn’t tell them that it was they who sucked, because it was a simple issue with a simple answer.

      We have all been guilty lately of mouthing off prematurely and not respecting ourselves or others’ sense of decorum. A customer service call should be a civil statement of a problem or question, followed by a resolution. If you get an unsatisfactory answer, you can escalate your complaint, but don’t give yourself (or us) a stroke. We’re all stressed out, it’s true. The news is full of chaos and bluster. However, the purpose of business is to provide and satisfy a need, receiving funds to continue the business and pay those who run it. If something goes wrong, don’t be a thorn in somebody’s side. Step back before you speak, and save the soapboxes for the politicians.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged business, customer service, life, marketing, technology
    • Scrooging Around

      Posted at 6:28 pm by kayewer, on December 21, 2024

      To all my old and new friends, I hope you have a wonderful holiday. This post is not for you*.

      To everybody else, I want to give you a shoutout, because I’m sure you get tired of always being called the “bad guys” in life. If you mean to do what it is you are doing, you should get recognition for it, right?

      Let’s start with the youngest of the crowd: the children and teenagers. You elementary, junior and high school folks have really set your feet on the path to greatness. You’ve managed to increase the number of successful self-inflicted exit strategies–especially among girls between ages 8 and 12–by 8% in 2024. Through a combination of verbal and physical abuse, not to mention the social media comments you managed to sneak (with fake accounts) into the feeds of people you have judged unworthy of life on this planet, you took out some people this year. Although, by your own admission, they were not equal to you, so why compete against folks lesser than you, or does that make sliding through school easier (along with the other cheating methods you successfully employ every day)?

      Now let’s go on to the men in the crowd. Did you make sure to tell the woman in your life how awful they are today? If you haven’t, you may be a few dozen repetitions behind. Maybe it’s because you haven’t gotten your daily smoke or drink to shore you up for the task at hand. Heaven knows you can’t function without some ingested courage and some choice words to keep your girly and the little brats in line. Be sure to make your actions take over for your lack of words (your short education being the fault of a school system that never liked you, either). Be sure to look long at the people in your home while they huddle in a corner or cower behind a chair, because this is what your goal has always been, and you should drink it in with as much enthusiasm as your next beer. Bravo, dudes.

      As to those women out there, I don’t know what happened between the good old days of congenial interactions with others and today, but nowadays if you’re not well-versed in behaving like an entitled person, what are you waiting for? Be sure to let customer service people know what a lousy job they are doing. Practice your impatient huffing and well-worded insults you will need for nail technicians and your kids’ teachers. Rules don’t apply to you, after all. They do apply to the hired underlings you need to deal with daily.

      Everybody also needs to remember that this whole experience of living is meant to be done in contempt of everything about it. How dare life be inconsiderate of your every immediate need every day. When you take Fido for a walk, leave his business on somebody else’s lawn; yours needs to look as if you don’t own a dog that actually poops, after all. Go to public places with obscenities printed on your clothing; little kids learning to read need to get a lesson in how real people speak, after all. Make sure you park crooked, or cut in line at checkout, because rules are for everybody else, and you have graduated beyond such little things that are for average folks.

      Business executives should be proud of all the extra money they made this year. Your bread still costs the same as your lowest paid employees’ loaf. Pay no attention to them or your customers, because they don’t matter.

      Customers should be proud of how they managed to get away with so much shoplifting and perpetrating scams that gave you stuff you needed this year. Pay no attention to the employees of the businesses you ripped off, because they don’t matter. Oh and yes, that stuff you got which was the hot trend is now in a landfill or at the bottom of the ocean after you threw it out. Not your problem.

      Employees should be proud of how little work they did this past year. Pay no attention to the supporting businesses in your company. They made sure you got the medications you needed for the affliction you got for yourself (due to some messed-up stuff in your life you couldn’t get through without some kind of ingested courage or new habit you picked up). Forget about your managers and supervisors, too. Whatever you got from working this year, it still wasn’t enough.

      While you’re fist-pumping in exaltation over your achieved goals this year, be sure to pay no attention to people who deserve and cannot find the most basic things in life, such as love and kindness, or a simple meal once a day. Senior living facilities and shelters will be full of unwanted people this holiday. It’s their problem because they’re still alive when nobody cares about them. Turn away from what you feel is ugly and inconvenient. Put others in their place with your words or your actions. This is what makes the world the way you want to live in it.

      Bravo to you.

      *(If you are among my old or new friends, and you read all of this despite my warning and are appalled, so am I. Life shouldn’t need to call out these things, but it won’t be a happy time for many, and if one person sees this and has an epiphany, it will be worth it. Making the world better happens one person at a time, and in seeing what is bad in us, we can do better at being good.)

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged life, mental-health, mindfulness, personal-development, writing
    • Sep(tic)tember

      Posted at 3:29 pm by kayewer, on September 28, 2024

      I’m an old lady with quite a few bum days behind me, but this past month has to be right up there with the most lengthy and depressing I have ever experienced.

      It started right in with my workload on the first workday of the month, with phones ringing off the hook and all hands on deck to try and work through them. It was bad enough that, if our workers’ kids and pets could answer phone calls, we would have loved to have them onboard. Even though our services are available 24 hours, it seems people have mental blinders on and never call when it’s quieter, like on weekends or during off-peak hours. The holiday, start of school and the end of summer alternative job requirements (like taking your laptop to the shore) all came together for a perfect storm.

      This need for every person on the phones resulted in the email forum becoming backed up with questions, comments and vitriol all morning, so I handled them in the afternoon, putting in extra hours which I would make up by leaving early on Friday. It was a fortunate alternative to overtime pay, since I was ready to crawl into a coffin by noon that day anyway.

      Everybody was getting back into their fall, winter and spring routines, so extracurricular activities, or anything resembling recreation, was put on hold for most parents. I had volunteered to handle some optional after-work tasks, which I can do because I don’t have kids. Those activities are normally fun distractions, but this month brought as few participants than I had ever seen when other folks ran them. I blame it on September; otherwise I would have to believe that nobody likes to attend when I lead.

      The cemetery was quiet–meaning no living folks were present–when I went to visit my parents with flowers on their anniversary. The birds were silent, and the geese were merrily pooping while filling up on more grass to poop out some time later. That entire day went by without contact with another living human being. In fact, there were a lot of days like that in September.

      One of my own personal group meetings brought three people out to join me, for whom I am most grateful. It seems nobody keeps a perpetual calendar notice on their cellphones, so folks forgot. We still had a great discussion, and we nearly closed down the place (their hours are only until 9:00 PM).

      Television was pre-new season, so nothing much was on to provide me with any background noise while I worked. I think I turned it on half a dozen times in the past month. I stopped watching the news because it stirs too much emotion, gave up on “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune” because they had become less challenging and more of a nuisance. There is a series of music channels available, but the visuals with their trivia and fun facts about the featured artists are distracting while I’m trying to work. My satellite service wants to charge me for delivery to a radio, which I would also need to buy. No thank you.

      Went to the lab to bleed into a tube or four, and the results showed a few high numbers, but the doctor told me I’m fine. Doctor knows best. The sleep study I underwent resulted in a referral (more on that to come, once that happens). I had a chance to jump the line into an earlier appointment, but it’s for the first of October, which will be just as busy as the first of September after the holiday weekend, so I turned that chance down. My job needs me. Or I need my job. Or both.

      Meanwhile, as I look into the possibility of joining a gym, I realize that physical fit farms are way scarier than they’re made out to be. The fit folks rip into the people who are trying to get in shape, which discourages people from getting into shape just so the fit folks can rip into them. The people who use the equipment don’t always treat the devices as they should. People sweat, they don’t put any underwear between their nethers and the surfaces they sit on in just their stretchy workout clothes, because that would not look fashionable. It’s a godforsaken germ paradise waiting for a fresh body to populate upon.

      The other day I needed to explain to somebody how a year works, and they argued with me about it. You see, the individual was, like most cheap-minded people these days, looking to snag a discount just like they got between 2020 and 2023. Who cares if the place goes out of business, as long as one of their last acts was to give you a discount that put a heavier financial burden on the very industry you are actually supposed to be paying money to so they can be reliable when you need them. Anyway, the person was soon to attain a milestone, which would avail them of a discount. By soon, I mean they were in year nine of a ten-year anniversary. The person, however, was determined to convince me that year nine counts as year ten. I had to explain to an elder–whom I as a Boomer was raised to respect–that a person is not one year old at birth; one must go through 365 days to attain the age of one year, and so they must complete year ten to be eligible for the discount. Of course, the clapback was then, “So, you’re admitting that you are refusing to help me.” Where is Scott Seiss the “Ikea guy,” whose snarky customer service videos are a funny look into what some employees wish they could say? I could use his advice. I don’t know if the person is going to throw a few decades of loyalty down the drain because they can’t wait one year more or not, but I did my best to encourage the person to stick it out because I’m told the perks are worth it. But hey, let me bear the burden of watching you shoot yourself in the foot.

      I guess that’s my problem: I care too much. I show up and suit up and take the absentees and abuse and quiet in stride because that is my lot in life. This month did weigh a bit heavier than usual, just because it was so devoid of positivity.

      Maybe October will be better.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged life, mental-health, work
    • The Painful Post

      Posted at 2:53 pm by kayewer, on March 23, 2024

      Back in the days when I became a tween–which was before the term was even coined–malls sometimes had independent stand-alone retailers in their middles, similar to the visitors’ information booth. One of the most popular, and which has continued to serve customers for decades, is the Piercing Pagoda.

      It is what it says: a place to go for pierced ears. The “pagoda” part was simply a part of the moniker and original logo. Its founders, the Cohen family, owned jewelry stores and decided it might be a convenience to offer ear piercings in a separate retail space, so they planted a pagoda-shaped structure in-between the pedestrian walkways of the Plymouth Meeting Mall in PA in 1972. Now the stores are known as Banter by Piercing Pagoda. They have implanted millions of earrings into people over the years.

      Many of them have exchanged banter while visiting there. More on that later.

      The story I want to tell actually took place inside a mall department store. A piercing station was set up in the jewelry department of the now-defunct Strawbridge & Clothier for a special event, and I was accompanying some of my classmates because one wanted to get her ears pierced there. It seems the piercing was free with purchase, though I’m not sure if our mall had Piercing Pagoda back then.

      The initial journey to one’s first piercing seems similar to the minutes preceding one’s execution by firing squad. A condemned person may seem stalwart until the second comes when reality sets in. The determined individual’s inner strength dissolves from that of devil-may-care to mayday in mere moments.

      Perhaps it’s the approach of the piercing gun, which back then was a commendably large piece of beauty weaponry for such a small task (possibly because it seems to be modeled after carpentry nail guns). Until the seated victim sees the preparations as the assigned technician loads the earring post (and its backing to hold it in place on the other side of the earlobe), the fact that something is about to be rammed at high speed into a body part doesn’t seem at all intimidating. It’s, as they say, a rite of passage.

      As the inevitable approaches, a first-timer will often start rambling, either by praying or repeating comforting mantras. Sometimes they will desperately start asking for somebody to hold their hand, or even squeezing their eyes shut as if that action will subvert all the negativity that is to follow.

      When my classmate started rambling, I moved away to look at the new fashion lines. I saw the piercing gun long before she did, and decided no way was I subjecting myself to such a ritual.

      Sometimes only one person is available to do a piercing, and when you have two earlobes this means two of the same experience. With two people piercing, they can coordinate the firing squad technique to prevent unintentional movement by the subject and potential misfires. With one, the victim must steel themselves for a second dose of anxiety.

      The technique is also similar to that of a firing squad: ready (set the coordinates of where the earring is going to go with a pen dot), aim (place the gun at the correct spot), and fire. It is at this point that the newly pierced person reacts the strongest. Sometimes people complain about the discomfort, or say they felt nothing. Some pass out. Sometimes the onlookers nearly pass out. I was only listening as it was done, and I felt queasy.

      I recently saw a video of a person who got their lower lip pierced, known in the industry as a vertical labret. The subject had multiple other piercings, as well as tattoos, but this particular addition caused her to pass out momentarily. Her friend, who was filming the event, lowered her cell phone camera and did not keep filming while the newly-adorned individual recovered. Some other video compilations feature young tweens whose faces morph from fear to finality as they survive the process. One of my favorites is a girl who cussed “Son of a biscuit eater, that hurt!” And like being before a firing squad, something inside dies as a mirror is brought in and the victim gets a first look at the reddening earlobes freshly impaled with gold, silver or titanium.

      Why am I covering this topic? Because after all these years, I still don’t get the concept. I don’t condemn it, nor do I have anything bad to say about it. In fact, one of my favorite comics has a character named Pierce, who has excessive head hardware in his ears, brows and elsewhere, and he’s hilarious. But I always leave videos about this subject scratching my head. I have no piercings, though I’ve had some encouragement to get at least one from past relationships. Among my jewelry is a pair of simple post earrings I was gifted as a subtle hint, and which will probably end up becoming estate fodder.

      I guess Piercing Pagoda will never get a cent from me. I’m giving myself a reprieve.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged body-piercing, earrings, jewelry, life, piercing-pagoda, piercings
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