kayewer

Author Archives: kayewer
- Unfit Sheet
  
  Posted at 3:10 am by kayewer, on January 13, 2013
  Sometimes things change so quietly, nobody notices. The changes can suddenly become part of a new definition of normal, so one must adapt or eventually catch up. My example for this rant about changes for the worst is the common fitted bed sheet.
  
  When I was growing up, sheets came in separate packages of top sheets, fitted sheets and twin packs of pillowcases. If you used one pillow, you always had a spare pillowcase in your linen closet. Then the sheet set came out, with one of each thing in one package. The sheets stayed the same all these years.
  
  Recently a worn spot appeared on a beloved patterned fitted sheet, so I went to buy a replacement. Since the pattern of the flat sheet was rather old, I knew I would never find an exact match (memo: when you like a sheet pattern, buy spare sets), so I opted for a solid. As I examined my options, I found that the fitted sheet is no longer what I expected.
  
  Fitted sheets used to come with four gathered corners and four finished sides. The only fitted sheet I could buy was gathered around the entire edge. It has tortured me ever since, because it is impossible to straighten on the bed and won’t fold when it comes out of the dryer. The fitted sheet has become like a shower cap: it only looks neat and square fresh out of the package and never again.
  
  I don’t know why the bedding industry would rather waste elastic and thread sewing the entire circumference of a fitted sheet than simply cinch in four corners. Are today’s workers unable to learn to do them the old way? Maybe the new fitted sheet has something to do with the mattress industry on which the bedding industry is so dependent.
  
  The new mattresses are grossly padded and heightened enough to cause a nosebleed. If the famed leading lady in the fairytale “The Princess and the Pea” had slept upon twenty of the behemoths found in mattress stores these days, she would never have been declared a princess with a butt sensitive enough to feel a lump under the bed (plus the nosebleed).
  
  Of course, she might not have been able to get into a bed that high, if it weren’t for the cathedral ceilings in the modern new homes of today. If a fitted sheet gathered all around is a sign of progress, I’d rather stay in the dark ages.
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- Too Many Peanut Butters
  
  Posted at 2:41 am by kayewer, on January 6, 2013
  I did my first big food shopping trip at Wegman’s today, since my local SuperFresh is closing down. It’s always fun to explore a new grocery chain and learn what exciting things they stock that other stores don’t, like expensive caviar (!!!) and fresh fish displayed in the open. Luckily my wallet told me to stick to the essentials this trip, so I bought things like orange juice and looked over everything else.
  
  One thing that caught my eye was the peanut butter section and these two jars of Peter Pan(R) Peanut Butter. Or at least one of them is peanut butter: the other is natural peanut butter spread which, the label notes, does not need stirring.
  
  Don’t they both spread?
  
  Having had the detestable experience of stirring a jar of natural peanut butter, this caught my eye. The label ingredients are less on the natural version, suggesting that it is closer to peanut butter in its “from the nut to the jar” state., without many more additives like high fructose corn syrup or trans fats. The calorie and fat content seemed the same on both labels, and so was the price.
  
  Peanut butter is a growing section of the store, and there are at least a half-dozen brands trying to get noticed. Peter Pan has come through in spite of past problems which shut down production for a time, and I have never found another brand I like as much. Having said that, I think there are too many choices on the shelf: creamy and crunchy still dominate, but now one can also choose honey, low-fat, low sugar and organic.
  
  When I think of the word “spread,” I think of those watery butter products that dampen one’s toast and seem to add little flavor. I had not inventoried my peanut butter needs, but once I do, I will be trying this product and reviewing it herein for the sake of imparting helpful information to readers who might want to know. It sounds like a great idea, so if it spreads on my bread and tastes good, we’ll have a winner.
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment | Tagged peter pan natural peanut butter spread, wegmans
- Farewell 2012
  
  Posted at 2:08 am by kayewer, on December 30, 2012
  Gee, where did 2012 go? I didn’t even see the screen door slap it on its way out. Good thing, too, because there was quite a bit of negativity going on, and more than a few of us would like 2013 to get here so we can start fresh, even if we in America do wind up taking a header off the so-called fiscal cliff.
  
  Jobs are still hard to find, and the government still can’t figure out how to handle money. Nature sent us Sandy, along with major drought and fires during the peak of summer. All the good celebrities from the golden era are going to the great proscenium in the sky. The bad guys shoot up schools and movie theatres, then kill themselves to avoid arrest.
  
  On the other hand, people have reached out and sacrificed their money, organs, homes and valuable time to help others. Compassion still hasn’t been killed by a storm or a mad gunman. Volunteerism won’t bow to bureaucrats or high gas prices.
  
  The top television shows may involve corporate greed (Madmen) or zombies (The Walking Dead), and the guilty pleasure/teen must-see film was fifth in a series of vampire movies (Breaking Dawn Part II), or moviegoers took a new look at an old favorite franchise (The Dark Knight Rises), but at least we do go to the movies. DVD rentals have not stopped the unique experience of gathering in a theatre.
  
  Men of status continue to make bad choices, straying from the love and support of their wives and families to enjoy pleasures of the flesh elsewhere. Women of celebrity status can’t keep from getting arrested for stupid things. And then there’s Honey Boo-Boo, which I can’t begin to categorize.
  
  And there’s Gangnam Style, which should be a workout video or at least encourage people to go out and ride horses (if you look up how to do the dance, you’ll know what I mean).
  
  Magazines like Newsweek have gone all digital. That’s creepy. Sure, tablets and smart phones are cool, but give me a hard, holdable stack of paper bound with staples anytime. I’m not giving up my magazines.
  
  Stores are closing. Locally we are losing a SuperFresh and lost a Pathmark, because people are going to swank shopping destinations like Wal-Mart and Wegman’s. Wal-Mart? I still cringe when I spot a banana in the produce aisle at Target, because I don’t think I want to buy food where I buy my underwear.
  
  Lightbulbs are going out of style, with our standard bulbs (which have worked without fail since their invention) being replaced by energy-saving versions which give light only after they take a few moments to answer the summons of the light switch. This is progress?
  
  Sure, we go backwards and forwards, and often not for the right things or good reasons. The coming year won’t change that. At least we can start with a clean agenda and, just maybe, come up with a better review next December.
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- No Ho Ho
  
  Posted at 3:31 am by kayewer, on December 23, 2012
  December is not a great month for all human beings. Holidays are mixed events that are either welcomed or detested. Some people have temporary setbacks in their holidays because of illness, disaster (imagine all the Sandy storm survivors who still don’t have four walls in which to install a Christmas tree) or a lack of persons with whom to share anything. No wonder holiday depression is such a hot topic.
  
  If I had my way, I’d create an entire blog of just complaints about how lousy the holiday season is, and I could produce lots of great examples to prove my point. Of course, nobody would want to read it, and if I said some of the things I wanted to say, I’d get in heaps of trouble with several affiliations, and I really don’t want to be known as a rabble rousing blogger.
  
  By December 26, all the hoopla will be over. The family tummies will be bloated, the trashcans bulging with gift wrap and toys which broke within hours of coming out of the packaging, the fridge packed with leftovers. The malls will open up return aisles, and the after holiday sales will commence. In my neighborhood, Target stores will start to put out their Valentine’s Day cards.
  
  In other words, time to get to the next holiday that depresses people.
  
  Next week I will be talking about nicer things. I just have to get to that day first.
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Christmas depression
- Taking a Week Off for the Holidays
  
  Posted at 1:30 am by kayewer, on December 16, 2012
  The holidays catch up to us all, so I plan to be back next weekend in time for some holiday observations made from what will probably be an overweight body after too many parties. See you then.
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- The Grocers’ Flight
  
  Posted at 3:15 am by kayewer, on December 9, 2012
  It must say something ominous about the economy when supermarkets shut down. In my area, in the broader range, we have lost a Pathmark and two Genuardi’s, and now the local Superfresh just up the road is going away after years of happy commerce. What’s up with that?
  
  The parking lot at Superfresh was always crowded. It was also the market with the biggest selection of three local stores (the others being Acme and Thriftway). Nobody can understand this move by parent company A&P. We certainly don’t want to lose the personal service of checkers we have known for a long time, nor the store’s own brands we have turned to.
  
  Apparently customer loyalty doesn’t matter.
  
  It may well be that the corporate bottom line requires them to shutter perfectly good store to save money to pay the pensions for everybody who has retired. Hopefully they’re not squirreling away funds for marlin fishing in Florida*.
  
  The market takes up the biggest space in the plaza and used to house a Clover store before the collapse of its parent company, Strawbridge & Clothier. In fact, the plaza tore down the original Superfresh location, built a bank on that pad and moved them into the larger store, where it thrived.
  
  The shopping center, which has evolved over the decades, has been almost fully occupied until now, with a Tuesday Morning store newly arrived. Now it looks like the entire site will be blighted unless some new tenant takes over the space.
  
  I’m hoping that the Acme down the road will take it over; then another market like Bottom Dollar can move into that vacated space. Since I brought it up, it probably won’t happen. The empty Pathmark and Genuardi’s still sit like open wounds in barren patches of parking lots.
  
  Who knows where the shoppers have gone to fulfill their basic needs. Maybe the Wegman’s stores have absorbed their business, as they have sprouted almost as fast as Wal-Mart.
  
  When the grocer leaves town, the town goes hungry.
  
  *(Marlin fishing in Florida is a symbol for rich retirement).
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- Technology Rant
  
  Posted at 3:22 am by kayewer, on December 2, 2012
  Now I understand why people pay $500 for a phone; that’s the price for technological respect from any cellular carrier. If you go cheap, they don’t care a fig about you.
  
  I’m not a total idiot when it comes to cell phones, but neither am I a genius. My cell phone is a no-contract device for which I pay for time and usage in advance and put up with a lack of bells and whistles for just an emergency and occasional usage product.
  
  Figuring out how to adjust the darn thing, unfortunately, takes an advanced degree.
  
  The darn thing didn’t ring, for starters. When you don’t get phone calls on a cell phone very often, the sound of an incoming call is like the call to dinner, and in this case my stomach was growling. Then my menu kept disappearing from the screen, and apparently it could only be resolved by turning the phone off, turning it on again, pressing the main button and praying hard. Sometimes the phone angels were too busy to help out. Try navigating a push button phone menu without the icons sometime.
  
  Finally I tried to call Customer Care, and I soon found out that it means what it says: the customer–me–does care, but there isn’t anybody else on the other end of the line who does. There was no option to speak to a live person. I could press one for advice on phone upgrades (which I wouldn’t want to do until I could get my phone to just ring), or seven to return to the main menu. There was no option to press to scream at somebody.
  
  By chance I finally found, at the end of the third long menu of options, that a representative was available. Giddy with excitement, I was connected to a fellow who said yes, he could help me. He sent me a text message and said he would call back in a few minutes after I got it. The text message advised me on how to check my account balance, not how to make the phone ring.
  
  He called back and promised a solution shortly. That was the last I heard from him.
  
  At one point while trying to test the phone, I hit upon an option to increase the volume, which I did out of simple frustration. It seemed to solve the problem, because in the middle of an executive meeting, my phone launched into the device’s default ringtone, labeling me forever as a phone dope with no clue as to how to make my ringtone “Call Me Maybe.”
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged cell phone plan, cellular customer care
- Under the Clothes
  
  Posted at 2:46 am by kayewer, on November 25, 2012
  Buying underwear shouldn’t be such a challenge. I spent some time checking out the packages of panties at “SLR” (WalMart, the “Store of Last Resort”), and it’s amazing how many choices there are if you tend to shop for utilitarian rather than thrilling undergarments.
  
  The underpant for men tends to be boxers or briefs. Those men who are truly ripped may go for tighter and lower-cut varieties to show off their bodily accomplishments. At least boxers are amusing, coming in various patterns, colors and styles. A man who would wear Spongebob on his boxers would likely have a great sense of humor. Of course, one should be able to tell that before they see that Spongebob is on his boxers.
  
  Woman, on the other hand, have panties in so many styles, it seems impossible to narrow down one’s choices. We have boy shorts (square), low-cut (think Speedos for gals), thongs, bikinis and briefs in enough colors and patterns to blind the shopping eye. I also counted eight sizing types, adding to the difficulty.
  
  When you see a panty in a pattern you like, it’s usually in a package in the wrong size for you, or it’s surrounded by such horrendously patterned or colored package mates that it isn’t worth buying the lot for just one pair.
  
  And these necessities come five or eight to a package, rolled up into neat little burritos of cotton or nylon and taped and lined up for maximum shopper appeal. And nobody has yet invented a hook that effectively leaves the packages on the rack without ripping out of the wrapping. Nor have they figured out how to stop people from opening a package to check the size before buying, then getting a fresh one because “this one is opened.”
  
  If the week has seven days, neither choice gets you through them all without an inventory problem. I’ve noticed manufacturers throw in an extra pair in a value pack, making the total panties either six or nine. Maybe the packaging was invented by the same people who put ten hot dogs in a package while buns come in quantities of eight.
  
  Another problem with packaged panties is their construction. They are never quite even; seams are off center, crotches are sometimes too narrow or wide, and some have trails of looped thread dangling from them in testament to the quick piecework process by which they are made.
  
  The price is right, though. When you think about the price of similar garments at Victoria’s Secret, and the abuse they endure on the human body, there is a value to such things. As long as they fit and don’t show a line, they’ll do.
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- Skidding Just Fine, Thank You
  
  Posted at 2:36 am by kayewer, on November 18, 2012
  Nothing like a bad week to make one miserable. Bad weeks make you appreciate the ones in which you come out with money in your pocket and no need for medical care. I have been trying hard to come down with something, and running with a sleep deficit doesn’t help matters.
  
  Traffic was unusually hectic, with drivers disregarding speed limits and getting into accidents by incredible numbers. The local newscasters have had a field day with snarls and gridlocks all over, and I was stuck in quite a few of them.
  
  This week in particular, I found myself driving into the rush hour traffic, as I went to a different office than usual. This required going south to north in the morning, and north to south in the evening. Everybody seems to go in these directions, and I have always been glad to have a job which normally sends me the other way and out of the grip of the brake-tapping tango that normally fills the opposing lanes when I’m coming and going. Traffic jams are nerve-wracking when you have someplace to go.
  
  Then I got delayed in Friday traffic when a jam took place at my usual exit. The cars backed up for five miles. When I got to the exit, there was nothing to indicate an accident, only cones and flashing lights. It still took me an extra half hour to get home, on a night when I really wanted to be on time, because I had something to do.
  
  Bad traffic days make one want to not have something to do after work. There will always come a time when you will be late, and people don’t like to be late. That is when they speed up and cause accidents which make other people late.
  
  Maybe it happens because everybody seems to get out of work at 4:00 or 5:00. Maybe people just don’t get the concept of driving safely and taking care of their vehicles.
  
  Griping about it doesn’t help make the bad week go away. All I can do is wait for the next one to be better.
  
  At least I can look forward to turkey this Thursday.
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- Tired of Christmas Already?
  
  Posted at 3:53 am by kayewer, on November 11, 2012
  I was in the mall with a friend and saw Santa had just arrived that day. We just finished a late Halloween, and already the jolly old man is taking children’s early toy orders.
  
  This whole thing has gone a bit too far.
  
  Does anybody remember Hess’ department store, based in Allentown, PA? Each year, usually after Thanksgiving, a local network would air a special featuring the store’s animatronic holiday figures. It was something to look forward to. All the major department stores opened up a holiday window the day after Thanksgiving. Black Friday meant something back then.
  
  Hess’ was one of the early victims of department store closures. Back then, probably nobody would have predicted that such places would go out of business like they have in the past twenty years.
  
  Now department stores compete for which can open closest to the end of the turkey dinner, while the stuffed denizens of the family table have not succumbed to the effects of tryptophan.
  
  The PA lottery is airing their holiday instant ticket commercials already, featuring a group a carolers doing a lottery themed rendition of “Twelve Days of Christmas” (the lead singer has sung “Five Cash Five”–substituting for five gold rings–for about four years now, and the residual checks must be phenominal), and a man graciously giving tickets as gifts to the employees as a newsstand (from which he might well purchase them daily anyway).
  
  We see ads for the “Pre-Black Friday Sale,” and prices are low enough that one could refurbish an entire home with new stuff.
  
  Of course, there are victims of Hurricane Sandy who need an entire new home, and even sales won’t help them recover in time for Christmas.
  
  Some of the networks are already airing holiday themed specials. Next will come the radio stations playing holiday music until January. Christmas has become a calendar equivalent of a plague of locusts, which comes and ravages your life for what seems like forever, and for which you are grateful only when it is finally over.
  
  Sure, businesses are desperate for end-of-year profits, and some people like to have a holiday that lasts forever, but the constant barrage so early in the season is just wrong.
  
  Can’t we at least get to Thanksgiving week first?
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  Eden on A Good Rabbit Hole
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	Eden on A Good Rabbit Hole
	Eden on Free Secretary
	Eden on Getting the Message
	Eden on The Unasked Questions
	Eden on And Her Shoes Were #9

Author Archives: kayewer

Posted at 3:10 am by kayewer, on January 13, 2013

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Posted at 2:41 am by kayewer, on January 6, 2013

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Posted at 2:08 am by kayewer, on December 30, 2012

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Posted at 3:31 am by kayewer, on December 23, 2012

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Posted at 1:30 am by kayewer, on December 16, 2012

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Posted at 3:15 am by kayewer, on December 9, 2012

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Posted at 3:22 am by kayewer, on December 2, 2012

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Posted at 2:46 am by kayewer, on November 25, 2012

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Posted at 2:36 am by kayewer, on November 18, 2012

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Posted at 3:53 am by kayewer, on November 11, 2012

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