Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Monthly Archives: June 2025

    • What Price Pleasure

      Posted at 3:26 pm by kayewer, on June 28, 2025

      Before I begin, I must warn you that this content is for adults and may cause extreme negative emotions, as well as some trigger reactions. Reader discretion is advised.

      Women these days often lament the issues associated with being single and unable to find a partner who can be a true human companion. Married women or those supposedly in a committed relationship also offer up commentary about how their significant others misbehave. We, as women, are having a tough time in this age of what we call enlightenment.

      In my lifetime, I have seen men degenerate from treating us like we deserve equality and respect to acting as if we’re despicable lower life forms. I could go on to write a full-blown rant about how the relationship dynamic has changed in a few decades, but I want to focus on one thing: the “O” word.

      That peak of pleasure sought after by any living creature with a hint of hormonal activity in their bodies is, in my opinion, undervalued as a commodity. Male creatures with antlers (such as rutting moose in mating season) have died entangled while jousting over who gets the females. Male praying mantises will seek out a female and lose their head for that opportunity. Really, she will bite his head off and remain conjoined with the corpse afterward, and the males don’t care; instinct overcomes all common sense.

      Of course, we are humankind and should know better.

      I could go the easy route and say that one second of bliss for us humans can set you back over a third of a million dollars; the average cost to raise a child to age 18 is about $375,000 (US), so if sperm are anywhere in the vicinity of their pre-programmed target ovum, that’s the expense you’re talking about for the next two decades. The quest for sexual pleasure has brought down kingdoms, divided nations, and ruined countless lives. All for a few seconds of existential nirvana.

      This past week I was subjected to a social media post from somebody I greatly admire for being a decent man; his name is Robbie Harvey. He has a wife whom he stood by and gave loving support during a cancer battle. He talks about human decency and values, and isn’t afraid to call his fellow men out for being anything from simple jerks to totally inhumane monsters. When a recent article he posted came into my feed, I was just as shocked as he was to watch it (link is at the end of this post).

      I will give you my best slightly enhanced TLDR (too long didn’t read) version.

      A woman delivered a baby by Caesarian section. This is the surgical birth of a baby through the abdominal wall, meaning a doctor cuts through the belly’s many layers and opens the womb to free the infant inside instead of being forced through the birth canal. This is major surgery. Women are expected to recover over many weeks while their abdomen heals. There are still baby activities (feeding, changing) needing to be done while handling breast milk, post-partum depression and all that comes with it, and post surgery comes with the specific warning of no intimacy for the duration of recovery time.

      This woman’s husband wasn’t having it. He “had needs.” She felt compelled by him to disobey the doctor’s orders, and she gave in to her spouse’s demands for sex. She ended up returning to the hospital and having additional emergency surgery, and she want into cardiac arrest during the procedure to repair her ripped-up surgical scars, which were likely pounded open by her husband’s quest for that one second of release.

      So the “big O” can also nearly cost human life, and one can only guess how much that husband cared.

      What have men in these times done to deserve us? What have we done to deserve treatment like this? The man had needs? What about the woman’s needs? I had several viscerally unprintable thoughts about how to nail the point home with that Neanderthal of a husband.

      I don’t blame Robbie Harvey for posting the story, because it brings to light some of the terrible mindsets men have these days. He has done compilations of awful things men have said to women about their looks, or after miscarriage, and brought attention to the cringe-worthy fringe men of our society who don’t seem to have a clue about how to be human. The videos are thought-provoking and worth attention. However, this one haunted me all week. What kind of person is so desperate for that one moment of what amounts to a sexual sneeze, that he would put the life of his child’s mother at risk?

      What we don’t know is whether she has left him. For all the difficulties of single parenthood, I would hope that would be the better choice for her than dealing with that buffoon.

      Yes, it makes me glad I’m single.

      https://www.facebook.com/therobbieharvey/videos/1453233082523841

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family, marriage, women
    • Thank You For Holding

      Posted at 3:12 pm by kayewer, on June 21, 2025

      There’s a lot of preparation involved in going on vacation. When you travel far from home, you are actually uprooting your life in one place and temporarily setting it up in another place. Your home patiently waits for you while the power sits unused, your water stagnates in the pipes, the devices begin gathering dust on your counters, and the landscaping prays for rain.

      Meanwhile, you are transporting an array of stuff from one place to another so you will be able to live comfortably in a new location for a few days. Some of the stuff is essential, such as your toiletries, clothing, bedding and little Billy’s favorite stuffed animal. Others are short-term items such as bug repellant, suntan supplies, adaptive footwear and games for the kids unrelated to charging a device.

      Hopefully your vacation requires car travel, because heaven knows the luggage fees in airports these days prohibit most of the stuff you would easily pack in the car. As it is, stuffing your vehicle for a vacation trip is what playing Tetris has trained you for. You can cram a week’s worth of stuff into the minimal hatch space in a small SUV and have room to add Billy’s second favorite stuffed animal.

      Then there is the process of putting regular life on hold. In the olden days (about two decades ago), you would put vacation holds on newspaper deliveries and mail. Today the news is offered online, so your main concern is postal deliveries and online packages.

      I had stopped ordering things for delivery in May for my June vacation, hoping I would get everything before I left. It didn’t work. One package took over four weeks to process and deliver (right after I had departed and held the mail), and the second was delayed and ultimately lost in customs partly due to the tariff-related holds, so I received an email before my vacation ended, asking if I wanted a replacement order. Yes, please. At least I will be home to receive it. In July sometime.

      Bills, unfortunately, don’t wait for anybody, so while you’re away on vacation, payments become due while you’re buying souvenirs and eating dinner out. The bill next month is always a groaner. The food bill from eating out on a credit card goes up incrementally to how much vacation weight you gain.

      Weather can also be unpredictable. You could experience a cataclysm at home while your vacation destination is sunny and mild. On the other hand, you could pick a vacation week in which storms occur every day for the whole week. That happened to us once. Yes, we left early and got a refund.

      The decision to go away on vacation doesn’t mean that life is on hold. It’s still the same, just in unfamiliar surroundings. You may vacation in a dry town or one without a 24-hour pharmacy. The kids still want fast food, and vacationers who are used to their own cuisine at home may find a lack of places to shop for familiar edibles. However, you will be exposed to a new kind of local cuisine all around you.

      You’ll encounter “resort pricing” and unfamiliar sales taxes. What passes as “soda” in your town may be “pop” in another. You may have difficulty finding cable channels, or the banks may have unfamiliar origins. To the locals, it’s a part of life, and you’re just passing through it.

      Fortunately for me, I did not vacation far from home, so there was little cultural shock. I did my best to not be a disreputable tourist, shopped local, paid my share of tips and taxes, and left with all my physical and emotional baggage neatly packed in the back of my vehicle.

      And no, I didn’t pack a favorite stuffed animal.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged life, parenting, travel, travel-tips, vacation
    • The Real Iron Maiden

      Posted at 4:31 pm by kayewer, on June 14, 2025

      Vaccines have done much to eradicate deadly and crippling diseases from our planet. Whether you are for or against the concept of helping your body recognize and ward off attacking biological threats, it is impossible to deny the living examples of what life was like before immunizations.

      Polio has been considered an eradicated threat thanks to the thriving number of vaccinated people who will never know the disease, but for a time it was the terror of the medical world. Hospitals were filled with people suffering paralysis from polio. Some were rendered unable to breathe on their own and were placed in an assisted breathing device called an iron lung, which is a type of cylindrical full-body pressure system. A person using an iron lung is confined to it, often for life, with only their heads visible as they lie inside the negative pressure device which stimulates inhaling and exhaling in cases of full body paralysis.

      Until recently, three people were still using iron lungs. A man named Paul Alexander was able to live a fulfilling life even as he was mostly confined to one room inside his device. He received a bachelor’s degree and became a lawyer with a “work from home” practice. He was six years old when overtaken by polio, and at nearly 72 years of confinement was considered the longest surviving person using an iron lung. He passed away in March 2024 at the age of 78.

      A woman named Mona Randolph needed the device after contracting polio at age 20 but was able to emerge from it for a while, only to need it again when post-recovery symptoms overtook her years later. She also used CPAP, which is a common method of treating sleep apnea. She died in 2019 at age 82.

      The last known surviving iron lung user is Martha Lillard, who may have contracted polio when exposed at her own birthday party at an amusement park, where she was around throngs of people who may have had the disease and been asymptomatic. She tried alternative products but chose to remain in the device for life, feeling it keeps her healthy. She has beagles and spends time painting and watching classic movies. Now in her 70s, she said in an interview that replacing parts on the device is her biggest concern (insurance does not cover it).

      Once during a blizzard, her power went out and the back-up generator failed. She was unable to reach emergency services for some time until the cell towers produced a signal. Her determination not to give into panic saved her. She remains an example of how far we have come from days when getting sick was more often than not a death sentence. When she leaves this world, a chapter from medical history will be closed, but let’s hope we have learned something from it.

      Afghanistan and Pakistan are the remaining places in which polio is still considered a threat, after Nigeria experienced its last case in 2016. Today most of us have likely not been shown what polio did to victims in the last century and beyond, but rendering the virus extinct will permanently mark the death of the iron lung as well.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged health, history, polio, vaccine, vaccines
    • In An Instant

      Posted at 3:20 pm by kayewer, on June 7, 2025

      Have you ever had an experience in which you gave an honest answer and it backfired on you? I had that happen this past week. I had to make a change in something which had been running normally for a long time. Once I started the ball rolling on making the change, it turned out that, because I gave honest answers to make the adjustments, I had suddenly gone from having a long-term thing with no problems to having a load of problems which will cost me time and inconvenience.

      Telling the truth shouldn’t suck, and learning the truth about people, and how that truth shapes who we are, shouldn’t either, but it happens more often than not.

      One of my first experiences with this instant 180 effect was watching a movie about a young couple in love; she brought him home to meet the family, which consisted of her mother and monsignor uncle. The evening progressed smoothly and warmly with jovial conversation, until the uncle steered the talk towards church matters to find out more about the religious views of the young man at the dinner table. The fellow, accustomed to being honest, admits politely that he is an atheist who does not believe in God, and the merriment shuts down like a light being turned off. The man leaves in defeat and the young lady left in tears.

      Another famous example is the popular epic film The Ten Commandments, in which Charlton Heston as Moses gives a small speech about what has changed after it is confirmed that his heritage is Hebrew and not Egyptian. He notes that he as a person is no different than before (the same hands as before), and yet who he is suddenly turned his fate much darker.

      One of our most successful modern authors, J.K. Rowling, was (and remains) the biggest worldwide phenomenon, selling books which spun off into movies and theme park attractions and all sorts of promotional joy for millions of followers. Once she gave her opinions on transgender rights, however, her fan base diminished.

      One of the most noted composers, Richard Wagner, wrote beautiful and still well-known compositions such as the Ring cycle and Parsifal. His legacy is less one of outright rejection due to cancel culture, however, and closer to that of what we might strive for in the future: noting the bad and the good in human nature. Wagner was openly not a fan of Jewish people, yet opera patrons can appreciate the fact that he wrote exquisite music. In fact, conductor James Levine thumbed his nose at the composer by commanding his baton, proud to be a Jew, in front of the Metropolitan Opera orchestra through countless Wagner performances. Of course, Levine himself became another infamous cancel culture icon due to a professional scandal, and lost his status at Lincoln Center as a result.

      Since the month of June is one to celebrate pride in who one is, we should strive to be honest about our foibles as well as our successes, and not need to apologize for many of the things for which scores of overly zealous righteous folks reject entire subcultures, minorities or populations. Trying to sort out who to like or dislike should not be relegated to such frivolous things. One might as well divide people into who puts on both socks before both shoes, or who hangs their toilet paper over or under. All of it means essentially nothing in our planetary picture. LGBTQ people pay taxes, go to Starbucks, get tattoos and choose their pizza toppings the same way as everybody else. The most “vanilla” person on the planet may possess one flaw that you might not agree with, and they might find an unpopular flaw in you. Does that truth divide us, or bring us to a better understanding of the subtotals that make up who we are.

      I will need to endure the inconveniences to get back to the way things were. But I don’t regret telling the truth. What has been done is over, and it’s time to move forward. That’s how life is.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Books, honesty, life, music, opera, pride-month
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