Susan's Scribblings the Blog

Monthly Archives: February 2025

• The Old Book Story

  Posted at 1:22 pm by kayewer, on February 23, 2025

  (Originally Published May 12, 2019)

  The Argosy Book Store in New York City is an established piece of the city’s history, dating back to 1925. I decided to take the plunge and visit the store for the first time while I was in the city yesterday. I had both Argosy and the Strand (which opened elsewhere in the city two years later) on my city trip bucket list, so with time to kill before my date with a cushy opera seat at Lincoln Center, I weighed my choices. Somebody had been very helpful in getting me the info for the Strand, but since it was some twenty blocks in the opposite direction from my destination, I knew my feet would not take the abuse, and taxis unlikely at that time of day. I walked instead to the Argosy, hoping to enjoy some slow time with some old books.

  The place is designed much like a delightful old shoppe, smelling wonderfully of ancient paper in the muted light. On the shelves were old and more modern bound books of all sorts. Seeing Shakespeare occupying several shelves, I stopped to take a look and wondered about the cost of some future presents for my bookworm friends.

  Meanwhile, a drama was unfolding at a nearby desk, where a worker was contacting a shipper (a major one whose name I will not mention here) to find out why a promised on-time delivery did not happen. A customer had requested a special book for a Saturday occasion, and it never arrived, she learned, because in spite of instructions to the contrary, they waited to get a signature for the delivery. The worker informed the shipper that it was the store reputation which was suffering for their error, and I nodded to myself that this was a merchant who thrived on doing things the right way. She was quite infuriated by the problem, but kept her composure on the phone, another mark of professionalism.

  However, my shopping trip was now less important amid the chaos in the store. Nobody asked if I wanted assistance, and I figured that my timing was just wrong. I left with nothing, but will return.

  Meanwhile, the Strand is having an identity crisis because of a possible designation as a city landmark, which the owners might not want. They claim to have “18 miles of books.” and is an icon of the Washington Square area, while Argosy is just a brisk walk away from Central Park.

  And in Long Island, Amazon is coming, may the book gods help us all.

  There is a big difference between old books in an Indiana Jones-style warehouse, and an actual store one can walk into and breathe in the life between those aged pages. Commerce isn’t what it used to be, but bookstores like the Argosy and the Strand should stand forever.

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged argosy-book-store, book-reviews, Books, bookstores, reading, travel

• The Horrible Cleansing

  Posted at 1:21 pm by kayewer, on February 23, 2025

  (Originally Published August 05, 2018)

  Many people dread rain, particularly storms of the kind we have been experiencing recently. Rivers crest well past their usual flood stage, storm drains are taxed, and we often find water outside their appointed containment zones. However, the natural world seems to have an idea of what to do when things get out of hand, and the elements of fire and water often purge and cleanse in ways we may never understand.

  This doesn’t mean that I support massive flooding or wildfires, nor the casualties they cause, but we must also realize that we don’t belong everywhere that a house rises, just because somebody builds it there. People have lived in toxic waste areas and at the feet of potential volcanoes and floods for ages, though, and we’re not likely to build our lives upward, but simply continue to spread outward. With that spread comes the chance of disaster. We have seen it happen in the East, and right now Hawai’i is being reshaped by the fiery lava from a volcano.

  In the aftermath of fire often comes rebirth as the first fir trees sprout from the ashes. It is as if nature pushes for a fast recovery. Water, on the other hand, does not consume but simply piles its carried waste along until it lands someplace and has to be dealt with. A museum has on display the findings collected from the Johnstown Flood of 1889, showing how the devastation took over 2,200 lives and destroyed the town. If one were asked which is worse–fire or flood–many would be hard-pressed to choose.

  At the end of rain, though, does come a cleansing; a washing away of all the filth that we have created on the ground. I feel safer walking on sidewalks after a rain, because I like to think that whatever spit people planted on the pavements is gone for a short while, but really it is a chance to see a clean space. Something we don’t see very much anymore.

  Some places still embrace sweeping the sidewalks early in the morning, in case nature doesn’t do it for them. If it didn’t see so ludicrous or hopeless, I would walk around with a broom and do it myself. At least until we all stop making such a mess between storms.

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged bible, faith, flood, nature, weather

• School Wisdom

  Posted at 1:20 pm by kayewer, on February 23, 2025

  (Originally Published September 03, 2017)

  Take it from somebody who has been there: if you get to school and wind up getting bullied, it’s not about you, but them. I lived through some powerful antagonism when I was in school, and my future came out okay.

  School is not really about who you are now, but what you need to build now to be better later. The truth is that you are all learning together, and you rise or fall differently all the time. Some days you sail through everything, but the next day nothing is right, and you may wind up walking through those doors and finding everybody else seems to be up while you’re down. It’s okay. It happens that way. Just heave a sigh and make it through one day, and the next day will change. It always does.

  The bullies always make it seem as if they are in the know and you are not. How do they know anything? Did they take a smart pill? Are they on a fast track to rushing through life without knowing what they’re doing? You’re all on the same track, but while some folks know some things about a lot of things, others know a lot about one or two things. That’s all okay: that’s what makes us individuals.

  Somebody may pick on you and say you’re ugly. The truth is, they’re probably feeling kind of ugly, and that is scary for everybody your age. You’re all changing so fast, it’s hard to look great every day, but your folks still make you go to school. So you woke up on the right side of the bed that morning, and they didn’t, or vice versa. They have the issues, not you.

  They may hate your clothes, or your accessories, because theirs are “better,” but that’s their opinion. Clothes get outgrown, break zippers or get stains that don’t come out, whether they cost $10.99 or $1,099.00. The difference is that you can replace the $10.99 ones easier, and the folks who spend $1,099.00 are simply broker faster.

  When a bully picks on something about you, have you ever noticed that they look a little nervous or scared? That’s because they’re having issues, and they’re taking it out on you. They don’t know you, or why you are yourself and not like them. They wonder if what you are is okay, just like they wonder if what they are is okay. Insecurity is part of anger, and it’s powerful. You really have nothing to do with their problems. They never come out and offer you a way to get their better clothes or accessories or beauty secrets to lend you a hand up to where they are in their lofty superiority, do they? So it’s not about that at all. They will get where they need to be, and it won’t be because they had to walk over you to get there, but because they applied themselves, just as you will.

  It’s been a long time since I got out of school, and some of the people who were bound to come out this way or that are nowhere to be found today. They’re not on magazine covers, that’s for sure. That’s because it’s all just about building yourself when you’re in school. When it’s over, you’ll be moving on to better things. Don’t pay the bullies any mind. We all get where we are destined to go, in much the same way. Your parents will tell you about the school bullies, the nerds, the unpopular ones, the beauties and the wallflowers they knew. This has gone on for ages. The bad ones get theirs, and the good ones still reach their goals.

  You won’t be this version of you forever. Look at the goal; that’s nothing to be afraid of.

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged bullying, education, life, mental-health, writing

• Blustomers

  Posted at 1:17 pm by kayewer, on February 23, 2025

  (Originally Posted May 19, 2019)

  What makes a good customer? Good manners. What makes good customer service associates? Same thing.

  We seem to have forgotten that over the past few years. Being on the giving end, I see many bad customers, and I hope nobody ever perceives me as being bad at my job just because I give news a customer doesn’t like, but some folks try anybody’s patience without even saying anything.

  My customer contact is small, but in my office are several dozen people taking phone calls, and a few miles away I know that a branch office gets many visitors every day. If you’ve worked in customer service for a while, you know you’re bound to deal with people who get the day started by being annoying. The worst? First call of the day. It sets the tone for the next eight hours, and the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet (for the customer or the associate).

  It used to be the bad customer was once a week if that often. Now it can be two to three times a day. Sometimes it’s by the same person all three times, especially on the phone. When you work in a phone contact center, it’s not hard to pinpoint who is dealing with a difficult person. The conversation usually becomes a shouting match, and it’s the phone associate who gets their ears pounded.

  In public contact jobs, it’s important to be civil and service minded, but we call come to work in different frames of mind, and if you find somebody behind the counter who is having a hard time giving a good first impression, yelling won’t help.

  If I could give a future customer with a complaint one bit of advice, I’d say take a step back before you storm in. Start your experience with a polite greeting, then say you have an issue and be prepared to state your case calmly and with facts only.

  The two most annoying words ever uttered by a customer might well be, “you people.” It’s in emails and uttered a few times a day by fuming folks who would serve their blood pressure better by pausing a minute before launching the big guns (namely their vocal chords) at somebody. I would like to remove them from usage. Imagine having a bone to pick, and you start out by making the person who can tip the scales of customer satisfaction in your favor start to doubt if the encounter will end without somebody exploding first. There is no conspiracy brotherhood in customer service aimed at making your experience bad, and besides, we are all people.

  A person recently read off a phone rep for calling her ma’am because she said that was similar to using the dreaded “N word.” The person fielding the call was black. So much for starting off that experience right, your ladyship. Plus, I never heard of that reference anywhere (if somebody has, please clue me in where it started). Anyway, this particular person had a religious title revealed only after this exchange. That was on them.

  Sometimes a bad customer simply talks over the person trying to help, as if filibuster alone will solve everything. Simply listening to your customer associate will impart plenty of knowledge and a sense of what may have gone wrong, if you give them a chance to get it out.

  One time I got an email from a customer which started out saying our website sucked because they could not log in. The problem was not the site: the customer had simply never opened an account to log into. No, I didn’t tell them that it was they who sucked, because it was a simple issue with a simple answer.

  We have all been guilty lately of mouthing off prematurely and not respecting ourselves or others’ sense of decorum. A customer service call should be a civil statement of a problem or question, followed by a resolution. If you get an unsatisfactory answer, you can escalate your complaint, but don’t give yourself (or us) a stroke. We’re all stressed out, it’s true. The news is full of chaos and bluster. However, the purpose of business is to provide and satisfy a need, receiving funds to continue the business and pay those who run it. If something goes wrong, don’t be a thorn in somebody’s side. Step back before you speak, and save the soapboxes for the politicians.

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged business, customer service, life, marketing, technology

• A Large Problem

  Posted at 9:04 pm by kayewer, on February 22, 2025

  The obesity problem is real, and trying to look your best when your body proportions are off the chart is challenging as well as depressing. I have several favorite clothing brands, and even they are not always consistent with sizes and availability. My research shows why.

  The major grey area in clothing sizes starts after the typical Small, Medium, and Large. Some clothing manufacturers size only up to what is known as Extra-Large, or XL. Others offer Plus sizes starting with 1X. So, what is the difference between XL and 1X?

  Men’s clothing may come in XL, while womens may be labeled 1X, but generally 1X accommodates a 38-40″ waist for women. Men’s size XL may indicate a smaller 35-36″ waist. The magic number is 36 for men.

  This may explain why clothing sales exhaust supplies of 1X before XL. I have frequently scoured clearance racks for Plus sizes and found only XL or 2X and 3X available more readily than 1X. One is snug, the other roomier.

  Clothing from Torrid, a great choice in larger sizes, start at about size 12 and then include unique labels of 0, 1, 2 and 3 for Plus sizes. They offer jeans which cover a three-size range: they sell out quickly.

  In a world where low numbers can be part of social status (remember there is a size zero out there for those skinny enough to be considered no size at all–just kidding), saying you’re a size zero when you’re Plus-sized is exciting. Frankly, I can’t imagine anybody asking a person to reveal their clothing size, or even the brand label on their clothing. We are not, after all, a number or a business entity emblazoned on a piece of merchandise; we are human beings, each with a unique history and a unique body. We want to feel good when we dress in the morning, and whatever works should be of good quality and fit well. Checking the differences in each is the best answer, whether it’s in a sizing guide or the fitting room.

  If the size fits, wear it. Proudly.

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged fashion, lifestyle, sewing, size-1x, size-xl, style, travel

• A Big Fat Lie

  Posted at 3:01 pm by kayewer, on February 15, 2025

  One of the inherent problems with the World Wide Web and social media is that–especially in America–free speech can allow anybody to post anything, and they may sound like an expert simply by doing so. Sometimes these folks simply cater to what some people want to believe to fulfil those persons’ need of other supportive individuals. It’s the “I feel that”/”Me, too” connection which helps us feel that we are right about certain ideas in our lives. Those agreements are not always in our best interests.

  In a previous post, I wrote about a chemical called chlormequat, which is a plant growth regulating chemical. Its main purpose in the food industry is to encourage grain stems, such as for oats, to stand up for machinery to cut them down more efficiently. For those of us who eat cereals and grains, this substance may appear in our urine, and could contribute to reproductive issues. Its use in the US for grains is prohibited, but the Quaker Oats and General Mills companies seem to be importing grain from other countries that may use it in their fields.

  Why am I bringing this up? Many of us have cereals, seeds or grains for breakfast, or incorporate them into our diets in other ways. I had salmon with quinoa the other day, for example. There are those who would like us to not include these items in our meals, like a heavily advertised Dr. Steven Gundry, who pops into video and social media feeds touting dietary advice.

  Sometimes these ads are interesting to listen to, because they are assembled with care and feature costly videos and lectures about how we’re doing things wrong. But I caught a piece of information earlier today which made me take a step back.

  Dr. Gundry stated that the only thing oats are good for is fattening horses. I don’t know about you, but horse obesity has never, ever, been a topic of discussion in the ages and decades in which we have fed oats to horses. They get fed hay, fruits and vegetables and, yes, oats and grains. The oats are designed to provide fast energy for working animals who may need to draw vehicles. The high fiber content encourages good digestion because they chew the oats, which also wears their teeth down (a necessary activity because their teeth continue to grow throughout their lives). The oats provide protein, fiber, and b-vitamins. For humans, we get a high percent of our daily fiber, and no added sugar, not to mention pure oats are considered fine for people with gluten intolerance, because its source, avenin, is only related to wheat gluten.

  So at least in terms of a particular turn of phrase, Dr. Gundry may be blowing smoke. His history shows him to be a heart physician, but he has gone into authoring books and promoting merchandise to people hoping for a dietary restrictive fix for their health problems. His big enemy is lectin, which he says is bad for people.

  I still feel that everything in moderation is a good approach. I also believe that the artificial ingredients pumped into our food chain over the past three decades are mainly to blame for our obesity problem. How many people were obese drinking regular soda with sugar, compared to how many are overweight drinking today’s formulas? How many people got fat from snacks forty years ago, compared to those same snacks today? Look at the ingredient labels, and you’ll see additives which boggle the brain, and may well be what is packing on the pounds.

  Meanwhile, our bakeries need to raise prices to use purer ingredients in their products, and we reject them because the other stuff is cheaper. It seems as if killing ourselves inexpensively is more tempting. As for Dr. Gundry, perhaps he should provide more proof of those horses needing somebody like Dr. Nowzaridan of “My 600-lb. Life” to put them on a diet.

  Don’t believe everything on social media. Fact check with proven sources. I even invite you to fact check me. I’m human, after all, and I’m not touting any particular agenda, except to take a step back when you hear something that sounds, um, sound on the surface but just may be slightly mistaken.

  Fat horses. What next?

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• Better to Have

  Posted at 3:17 pm by kayewer, on February 8, 2025

  Some holidays are more difficult for people to navigate than others. Valentine’s Day is a particularly polarizing event simply for its implications and social cues by which we all judge our current life.

  When I was commuting to work by train, I would see men on Valentine’s Day boarding the car with balloons bouncing off each other and roses crinkling in their cellophane encasements. Some of the men carrying these tokens of affection seemed proud, while others appeared to be embarrassed. Still, some lucky person waiting at the end of the line would be receiving these gifts.

  Some other items were easier to carry, such as a big box of confections, or would be more easily concealed, such as a piece of jewelry or a small box with what could be anything hidden inside, such as a little naughty negligee. Whatever the gift, it was going home to somebody to whom someone has bestowed their love.

  The rest of us just carry on.

  What is more heartbreaking than to be somebody with nobody who loves them? The kid in school your children collectively bully decorates a box with paper hearts and drawings, and on February 14 finds the box empty (or the altruistic child who was taught well by their parents submits a token entry). The teenager sits at home while others engage in boundary-testing behaviors with others their age. As for the adults–the once-married-now-divorced or those who shrugged off the burdens of useless relationships with abusers or those displaying other red flags–the best they can do is sigh with relief and look forward to a possible future and a second try at a relationship. The person who has never been loved is in a world of singular pain nobody else can fully understand.

  The world outside the door of the unloved is like a graveyard populated by houses filled with people who tolerate your existence but don’t question why you live as you do. You barely see them all week. Your phone doesn’t ring. The only people knocking on your door are solicitors or religious pamphlet carriers. Retailers put on their politest face, and “That will be $25.98” may be the best thing they hear for days at a time.

  Social media is salt in emotional wounds, as endless posts of “my new child/grandchild” or “our trip to this romantic getaway” remind them of what they will never experience. Nostalgic pages remind them of events they never went to: anybody’s wedding, prom, class trips.

  They look in the mirror and see what nine months of construction in the womb provided, yet it seems to be insufficient for anybody else to acknowledge or appreciate. The days, months and years continue, and the spirit is stripped of any hope or encouragement. These are the people who die alone, surrounded by nobody. There is no obituary, because whatever they accomplished doesn’t matter to a soul.

  And this is okay. It must be, because it happens daily. We feel we have the right to be silent in ignorance of what that can do to somebody. We never stop to think that the old man who may not smell pleasant may have sacrificed buying a bar of soap so their electricity would stay on in the winter, or the woman with a speech problem survived oral cancer and is happy to be able to talk at all. We judge and reject without care, when that is exactly what some human beings need: care. Sometimes just asking, “How are you” and “What do you need today” can be eye-opening.

  But no, leave those people wondering why nobody loves them. That’s the humane thing to do, especially on Valentine’s Day. Silence in this case is not golden, but poison, and we decide to whom we give that poison through cancel culture and social rejection, which is probably the single worst thing that one can (or should) do. When the world needs love the most, don’t turn your back and say it’s somebody else’s problem, because in the end, we are all “somebody else.”

  Survive Valentine’s Day, everybody.

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged love, social-rejection, valentine's day

• Do You Read Me? Over

  Posted at 3:19 pm by kayewer, on February 1, 2025

  Success is often measured by whether you were among the many to attain it. High school graduation is one example, as a steady line of older teenagers walk in procession to shake the hands of the school executives and obtain their diplomas.

  Occasionally, however, the measure of true success comes from what you did that was different from the masses. For a high school graduate named Aleysha Ortiz, her diploma meant something much more than surviving twelve years of a public school education system.

  Aleysha came into the Hartford, Connecticut schools after her family moved stateside from Puerto Rico when she was only six years old. She had no English skills at all. The education system apparently didn’t have or offer ESL (English as a Second Language) courses to young elementary school students. Words meant nothing to her because she couldn’t decipher them. The few she managed to reason out came from association, such as through subtitles on television or karaoke lyrics.

  She struggled with classes, not just due to the lack of attention, but her diagnosis of ADHD, problems involving her being able to handle writing tools such as pencils, speech issues and the language barrier. Realize that she was in school in 2012, with fewer resources than are available today, but with lesson plans individualized to each student, and which were generally ignored by the faculty.

  Once Aleysha was able to utilize text-to-speech, she dedicated herself to spending her evenings bringing her grades up. Google became her educator.

  She graduated high school unable to read or write English, and with little to no math skills. Legal processes are being started against the system for not only their neglect, but their ignorance of Aleysha’s needs. If they didn’t understand her spoken communication, they simply shrugged it off without taking the extra step to find a speech therapist for her. She would be punished instead of redirected when things became difficult for the teachers or principal. Staff even laughed at her.

  Through her efforts and perseverance, Aleysha became an honor student eligible for graduation with some conditions, including deferring her diploma for more focused remedial instruction. Deciding that was too little too late, Aleysha began taking part-time college classes last August and, while the legal investigation continues, she is determined to help others like her who are not given the boost they need to catch up within the public school system.

  Public schools do not want to individualize the students’ needs. They want to crank every student through the system just like a car is built on a production line. This is why cars are recalled after leaving the plant; when there is a defect, the car still gets delivered and the company decides to deal with problems later.

  A person unable to read or write standard English at age 19 is not a problem to deal with later. It’s an opportunity to take a detour with the usual assembly line education system and give the attention needed to the problem. Parents should also be on board with this philosophy. Your child is not like one hundred others, nor should they be treated like one. This also means that, when something is short of what is expected, time to fix it before moving on is vital.

  Many schools from other countries do not take summer breaks. This doesn’t mean the families don’t take vacations, but life and school are treated the same way; as a part of everyday growth. Children learn daily, and not by taking one straight road, but by detouring to where the language skills get tweaked or the math abilities get reinforced, and then resuming the main road to becoming a fully educated young adult.

  The system failed Aleysha. How are they failing, or have they already failed, your children?

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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged college, education, learning, news, teaching

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