Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Tag: mental-health

    • Redux

      Posted at 8:17 pm by kayewer, on October 4, 2025

      Life is truly a realm of transitions. From the moment of birth, we begin evolving and growing, and as we become sentient, we also make choices and decisions and change them constantly. Occasionally we cling desperately to some ideals and concepts at considerable cost to our sense of self. The changes we make alter the course of our lives from one time to another.

      In my decades of life, I have found a unique niche in writing which has been both a joy and torture. When an elementary teacher first took an interest in my assignment preparation technique, and later when I was sent to an advance creative writing workshop at the high school, the faculty treated me as if I were a burden by having any type of talent. It became clear that I was expected to not succeed, possibly in favor of other students with more desirable, but unspoken, traits.

      It’s wonderful for the ego to have those who are supposed to be shaping your character break it down by shoving metaphorical bamboo shards under your emotional fingernails.

      Occasionally my writing has brought positive responses and rewards, but on others I have lost privileges and my feelings of worth. At present I have had some tests of resolve which I cannot ignore. My current project is a series of novels which are being critiqued, and it’s been a harrowing journey. While I sort out the particulars of my project and try to keep the rest of my personal life in order, my blog may be shorter or more sporadic, though I will strive toward the former to keep my promise of consistency for you, my devoted readers.

      All of the publicity in our world says that a life should be well-lived, and the key is to not leave anybody out of that opportunity, and I include myself in that concept. For all the negativity, isolation, bullying, ignorance and cruelty I have experienced, the balance of positivity, companionship, kindness, knowledge, and empathy have put too much stress on the wrong side of the scale. My health has suffered, and I have felt banned from an essential part of what makes our country great: the pursuit of happiness.

      The process of reinvention can be difficult, but trial and error must eventually lead to success, and that is what I will be striving for in the weeks to come. I hope you will continue to follow my journey with me.

      After all, the year isn’t over yet; it’s only week 40 of 52. Anything is possible in twelve weeks.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged blog, blogging, life, mental-health, writing
    • My Public Service Announcement

      Posted at 3:03 pm by kayewer, on August 16, 2025

      The day after Labor Day will be here before you know it. It’s the most chaotic day in the calendar before the rest of the holidays appear, but you can control the chaos if you think and plan ahead.

      Back to School fashions are already in the stores and online. If you or your kids are consistently clueless about what will be in style when school starts, try limiting your initial purchases to some basics. That way you always have simple back-ups and money left to buy what they really need to wear to be cool this school year.

      There is nothing more frustrating than to find that the car that sat in your driveway while you were away for two weeks in downtown sunny vacation resort won’t start on the day after Labor Day when you need it. The number of available service facilities will not suddenly increase to accommodate all of the stranded motorists who will suddenly need help, so to avoid a lengthy wait for whomever you will use for roadside assistance, go over a checklist with your sleepy car now. Is the battery three years old or older? When was your last scheduled maintenance? How old are the tires? Did somebody help themselves to your catalytic converter while you were away? Good things to know now before something goes wrong. And if you find yourself cat converter-less, I feel for you. The world really needs one that’s not worth stealing.

      Buy and freeze your cookout foods now, and thaw them in time for your event. Save the rolls and bread for the late week before Labor Day, not the weekend of, when you may find them sold out. Ketchup doesn’t need refrigeration. Neither do most mustards if kept in cool conditions to prevent deterioration. Believe it or not, butter can be kept in a closed container in your kitchen so it’s always soft for spreading.

      The first week back from summer can be stressful, but don’t keep your stress relief items within the reach of the wrong people. Secure your prescription medications (including gummies and other “greenery” from the dispensary), and keep alcohol away from children. If you enjoy firing ranges or hunting, take care with your gear and make sure what you fire and what is fired are separate (as in chambers are empty and the box to refill is elsewhere).

      As an older woman, I have learned that September can be anything from cold and dry to hot and wet, so I break out a transitional wardrobe the last week of August, which includes a cardigan, longer sleeved shirts and comfortable non-sandal shoes.

      For those going back to work, before getting back into your routine, try one or two of your grocer’s prepared meals for one or two as backups in your fridge. They tend to cost upwards of ten dollars a person, but they can be popped into the microwave for 2-3 minutes and save you from the drudgery of preparing from scratch when your first days back have you physically spent. And it beats resigning yourself to peanut butter sandwiches.

      Hope these tips and tools will be helpful as we prepare to bid farewell to the summer of 2025.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged back-to-school, labor-day, life, mental-health, parenting
    • Completely Mental

      Posted at 3:18 pm by kayewer, on May 3, 2025

      May is Mental Health Awareness Month. The event has been ongoing since 1949 and was originally started by Mental Health America to promote recognition, compassion, and resources for everybody. This not only helps those with issues affecting their mental health, but provides information for people who may not understand what it entails. Awareness removes some of the stigma surrounding it, leading to a more harmonious world in which everybody can find balance in their lives. President Harry S. Truman signed the National Mental Health Act into law in 1946.

      The official color for Mental Health Awareness is green, symbolizing fresh starts, like the greenery growing all around us during the month of May. Whether you wear a shirt or ribbon, participate in local events or donate to MHA, there are many ways to contribute to bringing mental health into the light and helping learn more about improving the lives of millions who suffer from conditions such as depression, substance abuse or thoughts of injury to themselves.

      The latest rankings by MHA (based on 2022 research) find that Connecticut and New Jersey rank the two lowest in the prevalence of mental illness. Colorado and Oregon are at the bottom of the list, showing the most incidents of adults and youth suffering from issues affecting their mental health. Among adults, those states with the highest rankings, and ten others, were found to have better access to healthcare than the bottom ranking states (including the states in the bottom two, plus Montana and Wyoming).

      Mental health has some roots in biological or hereditary history, but can come from a variety of causes, some of which we still don’t know enough about. Research shows an estimated one in five people may experience mental health issues in a given year. Depression is listed as the leading cause of disability in people ages 15-44. Mental health is one aspect of physical health: when your mind is not what it should be, your body can suffer for it. Often stigma prevents individuals from seeking treatment, even though medications and therapy are as helpful as your nightly statin or NSAID. Fear of being labeled (or mislabeled) prevents too many people from looking for the answers they need to heal.

      The past five years have been tumultuous for everybody, and there is nothing wrong about being stressed by the bombardment of negativity all around us. This is the month to focus on what mental health entails and what we can do to improve our own well-being.

      Here’s hoping you will show your support, compassion, and the knowledge that this post has given you. Excuse me while I break out my green tee shirt.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged anxiety, depression, health, mental-health, mental-health-america, mental-health-awareness-month, mental-illness
    • Rated Extraneous

      Posted at 1:54 pm by kayewer, on April 13, 2025

      I just read an article about the movie ratings assigned by the motion picture industry, from the perspective of the ratings’ relevancy in today’s entertainment world.

      The original rating system was introduced in 1968 as a way to inform parents of the suitability of a movie’s contents for young children. Before that, Hollywood was under the watchful eye of the “Hays Code,” which was designed as a type of “Ten Commandments” of forbidden depictions in moviemaking. Among them were nudity (adults and children), swearing/cussing, mixed race relationships, white slavery, sexual hygiene and childbirth, racism and drugs. Oh, and the clergy couldn’t be spoken ill of, either.

      The Motion Picture Association or MPA, (which included “of America” until 2019), created the rating system we now know to make it easier to choose movies for families or adults. The challenges which reshaped the system–one of the most noted being the addition of PG-13 after the release of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom due to some borderline violence touching the PG line in the sand–have tweaked the original four classifications. We now have five ratings (G, PG, PG-13, R and NC-17) and a variety of descriptive text to include mild, fantasy or extreme violence, language, drugs and alcohol and sexual content as means of parental guidance as to what their children may experience during the movie.

      The article points out that, unfortunately, many young people feel that the ratings system is a plot by adults to deprive them of what they conceptualize as a “better” form of entertainment. Young people will purchase a ticket for a PG-13 film, then sneak into the R-rated movie. I know from firsthand experience–not in a theatre, but watching a film on TV not suitable for me at a particular age–that this practice can be mentally damaging. In a rush to grow up, theatres are accidentally releasing rule-breaking teens sporting mental scratches and dents out into the world with a perspective they may not have been ready for, because there isn’t a system in place to make sure they “got what they paid for.”

      This came to light recently when the Terrifier franchise (known for extreme violence) released another movie this past winter and the packed houses were not always filled with age-appropriate paying customers.

      The best solution may be to keep a certain classification of movies on one side of a multiplex, so that youngsters headed in that direction would be immediately obvious. Another may be to set up a ticket scanner at the door to each auditorium which the attendee must swipe in addition to their original admission in the lobby. The door would then open for them to enter the auditorium.

      The classification system is still relevant. Children still need some protections in place to shield them from things they may not be mature enough to witness. This is a job all grown-ups take on when we come of age. It is a responsibility to the future generations and mankind in general to allow children to grow at the pace set for them by natural order, and introduce new concepts when they are ready to receive them. Our society has become so lax and liberal, that youngsters do not seem to be blocked from anything that may harm them; true crime documentary channels are not for four-year-olds. Forget that it’s cable or steaming, and remember that you control the remote.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Books, film, mental-health, movies, mpa-ratings, parenting
    • Opinion Page

      Posted at 5:55 pm by kayewer, on March 1, 2025

      Wouldn’t it be a strange world if the only opinion that mattered was your own? It may seem perfect to you, because you would no longer become upset by a different point of view.

      Imagine, though, how difficult it would be to find one person who was exactly like you in every idea, concept, and span of knowledge. It’s impossible to do, because every human being has a different story and, therefore, different opinions on everything.

      Often we want to destroy or alter opinions which are not our own. From the earliest days of man, when people dared to call the world round and germs visible only with enlarging technology an important part of our lives, to today’s polarizing protests and fearmongering about defining what we are, believe, say, or do, there has always been room for two opposing ideas. It took a lot of growing and compromising to get there, however.

      In her school days, my mother, a National Honor Society member, presented a report with a brown and turquoise book cover. She received points off. Nobody uses brown and turquoise together, the teacher said. The rule must have been written in stone somewhere.

      I, too, have been blasted for having opinions all my life, and so has everybody else. Sometimes, however, the things we’re criticized for have little overall effect and can be rather silly. When I was a kid, for example, one of my favorite breakfast leftovers was hamburger and gravy on a soft slice of white bread; when I presented that idea for a theme on what we ate in the morning, my teacher acted as if I had said strychnine. Just because she never had dinner leftovers for breakfast, nobody else could have them, either. So said she, so it was, at least back then, written in stone. I got points off.

      Remember that beer commercial in which the two sides argued, “Tastes great,” and “Less filling?” Until they came out with an ad that clarified it had both attributes, it was a pop culture argument with no true winner, and that can be frustrating. Perhaps there are no “winners,” but simply “compromises.”

      Nobody has the exact same opinion on everything, which is what gives us individuality of character. Often our differences are meaningless, such as people from South Jersey calling a certain spicy meat product Taylor’s Pork Roll, while in North Jersey it’s called Taylor Ham (true story). A hoagie is a sub in some places. Soda is pop or tonic. These are small things which do not have an effect on daily life. Both camps live harmoniously.

      When we delve into politics or social issues, however, the arguments become chaotic or even violent when opinions differ. When it comes to human life in particular, sometimes people are in favor of everybody suffering collectively. They don’t offer good reasons or even compassion or financial help: everybody simply must get in the pool of misery and keep quiet about it.

      Politics is a slippery course to wade through, because those in favor of one party often act as if those on the other side are all evildoers deserving of annihilation. Remember, the only people who belong are those who are exactly the same as you.

      So today I was hoisted up for a shaming session because my opinion wasn’t the same as a celebrity’s. Shame on me. At least the argument was not over pork roll or ham. Also, I didn’t say the person was wrong; just that my experience was different. We can all get along and still not agree.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged life, love, mental-health, philosophy, politics
    • School Wisdom

      Posted at 1:20 pm by kayewer, on February 23, 2025

      (Originally Published September 03, 2017)

      Take it from somebody who has been there: if you get to school and wind up getting bullied, it’s not about you, but them. I lived through some powerful antagonism when I was in school, and my future came out okay.

      School is not really about who you are now, but what you need to build now to be better later. The truth is that you are all learning together, and you rise or fall differently all the time. Some days you sail through everything, but the next day nothing is right, and you may wind up walking through those doors and finding everybody else seems to be up while you’re down. It’s okay. It happens that way. Just heave a sigh and make it through one day, and the next day will change. It always does.

      The bullies always make it seem as if they are in the know and you are not. How do they know anything? Did they take a smart pill? Are they on a fast track to rushing through life without knowing what they’re doing? You’re all on the same track, but while some folks know some things about a lot of things, others know a lot about one or two things. That’s all okay: that’s what makes us individuals.

      Somebody may pick on you and say you’re ugly. The truth is, they’re probably feeling kind of ugly, and that is scary for everybody your age. You’re all changing so fast, it’s hard to look great every day, but your folks still make you go to school. So you woke up on the right side of the bed that morning, and they didn’t, or vice versa. They have the issues, not you.

      They may hate your clothes, or your accessories, because theirs are “better,” but that’s their opinion. Clothes get outgrown, break zippers or get stains that don’t come out, whether they cost $10.99 or $1,099.00. The difference is that you can replace the $10.99 ones easier, and the folks who spend $1,099.00 are simply broker faster.

      When a bully picks on something about you, have you ever noticed that they look a little nervous or scared? That’s because they’re having issues, and they’re taking it out on you. They don’t know you, or why you are yourself and not like them. They wonder if what you are is okay, just like they wonder if what they are is okay. Insecurity is part of anger, and it’s powerful. You really have nothing to do with their problems. They never come out and offer you a way to get their better clothes or accessories or beauty secrets to lend you a hand up to where they are in their lofty superiority, do they? So it’s not about that at all. They will get where they need to be, and it won’t be because they had to walk over you to get there, but because they applied themselves, just as you will.

      It’s been a long time since I got out of school, and some of the people who were bound to come out this way or that are nowhere to be found today. They’re not on magazine covers, that’s for sure. That’s because it’s all just about building yourself when you’re in school. When it’s over, you’ll be moving on to better things. Don’t pay the bullies any mind. We all get where we are destined to go, in much the same way. Your parents will tell you about the school bullies, the nerds, the unpopular ones, the beauties and the wallflowers they knew. This has gone on for ages. The bad ones get theirs, and the good ones still reach their goals.

      You won’t be this version of you forever. Look at the goal; that’s nothing to be afraid of.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged bullying, education, life, mental-health, writing
    • Scrooging Around

      Posted at 6:28 pm by kayewer, on December 21, 2024

      To all my old and new friends, I hope you have a wonderful holiday. This post is not for you*.

      To everybody else, I want to give you a shoutout, because I’m sure you get tired of always being called the “bad guys” in life. If you mean to do what it is you are doing, you should get recognition for it, right?

      Let’s start with the youngest of the crowd: the children and teenagers. You elementary, junior and high school folks have really set your feet on the path to greatness. You’ve managed to increase the number of successful self-inflicted exit strategies–especially among girls between ages 8 and 12–by 8% in 2024. Through a combination of verbal and physical abuse, not to mention the social media comments you managed to sneak (with fake accounts) into the feeds of people you have judged unworthy of life on this planet, you took out some people this year. Although, by your own admission, they were not equal to you, so why compete against folks lesser than you, or does that make sliding through school easier (along with the other cheating methods you successfully employ every day)?

      Now let’s go on to the men in the crowd. Did you make sure to tell the woman in your life how awful they are today? If you haven’t, you may be a few dozen repetitions behind. Maybe it’s because you haven’t gotten your daily smoke or drink to shore you up for the task at hand. Heaven knows you can’t function without some ingested courage and some choice words to keep your girly and the little brats in line. Be sure to make your actions take over for your lack of words (your short education being the fault of a school system that never liked you, either). Be sure to look long at the people in your home while they huddle in a corner or cower behind a chair, because this is what your goal has always been, and you should drink it in with as much enthusiasm as your next beer. Bravo, dudes.

      As to those women out there, I don’t know what happened between the good old days of congenial interactions with others and today, but nowadays if you’re not well-versed in behaving like an entitled person, what are you waiting for? Be sure to let customer service people know what a lousy job they are doing. Practice your impatient huffing and well-worded insults you will need for nail technicians and your kids’ teachers. Rules don’t apply to you, after all. They do apply to the hired underlings you need to deal with daily.

      Everybody also needs to remember that this whole experience of living is meant to be done in contempt of everything about it. How dare life be inconsiderate of your every immediate need every day. When you take Fido for a walk, leave his business on somebody else’s lawn; yours needs to look as if you don’t own a dog that actually poops, after all. Go to public places with obscenities printed on your clothing; little kids learning to read need to get a lesson in how real people speak, after all. Make sure you park crooked, or cut in line at checkout, because rules are for everybody else, and you have graduated beyond such little things that are for average folks.

      Business executives should be proud of all the extra money they made this year. Your bread still costs the same as your lowest paid employees’ loaf. Pay no attention to them or your customers, because they don’t matter.

      Customers should be proud of how they managed to get away with so much shoplifting and perpetrating scams that gave you stuff you needed this year. Pay no attention to the employees of the businesses you ripped off, because they don’t matter. Oh and yes, that stuff you got which was the hot trend is now in a landfill or at the bottom of the ocean after you threw it out. Not your problem.

      Employees should be proud of how little work they did this past year. Pay no attention to the supporting businesses in your company. They made sure you got the medications you needed for the affliction you got for yourself (due to some messed-up stuff in your life you couldn’t get through without some kind of ingested courage or new habit you picked up). Forget about your managers and supervisors, too. Whatever you got from working this year, it still wasn’t enough.

      While you’re fist-pumping in exaltation over your achieved goals this year, be sure to pay no attention to people who deserve and cannot find the most basic things in life, such as love and kindness, or a simple meal once a day. Senior living facilities and shelters will be full of unwanted people this holiday. It’s their problem because they’re still alive when nobody cares about them. Turn away from what you feel is ugly and inconvenient. Put others in their place with your words or your actions. This is what makes the world the way you want to live in it.

      Bravo to you.

      *(If you are among my old or new friends, and you read all of this despite my warning and are appalled, so am I. Life shouldn’t need to call out these things, but it won’t be a happy time for many, and if one person sees this and has an epiphany, it will be worth it. Making the world better happens one person at a time, and in seeing what is bad in us, we can do better at being good.)

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged life, mental-health, mindfulness, personal-development, writing
    • Sep(tic)tember

      Posted at 3:29 pm by kayewer, on September 28, 2024

      I’m an old lady with quite a few bum days behind me, but this past month has to be right up there with the most lengthy and depressing I have ever experienced.

      It started right in with my workload on the first workday of the month, with phones ringing off the hook and all hands on deck to try and work through them. It was bad enough that, if our workers’ kids and pets could answer phone calls, we would have loved to have them onboard. Even though our services are available 24 hours, it seems people have mental blinders on and never call when it’s quieter, like on weekends or during off-peak hours. The holiday, start of school and the end of summer alternative job requirements (like taking your laptop to the shore) all came together for a perfect storm.

      This need for every person on the phones resulted in the email forum becoming backed up with questions, comments and vitriol all morning, so I handled them in the afternoon, putting in extra hours which I would make up by leaving early on Friday. It was a fortunate alternative to overtime pay, since I was ready to crawl into a coffin by noon that day anyway.

      Everybody was getting back into their fall, winter and spring routines, so extracurricular activities, or anything resembling recreation, was put on hold for most parents. I had volunteered to handle some optional after-work tasks, which I can do because I don’t have kids. Those activities are normally fun distractions, but this month brought as few participants than I had ever seen when other folks ran them. I blame it on September; otherwise I would have to believe that nobody likes to attend when I lead.

      The cemetery was quiet–meaning no living folks were present–when I went to visit my parents with flowers on their anniversary. The birds were silent, and the geese were merrily pooping while filling up on more grass to poop out some time later. That entire day went by without contact with another living human being. In fact, there were a lot of days like that in September.

      One of my own personal group meetings brought three people out to join me, for whom I am most grateful. It seems nobody keeps a perpetual calendar notice on their cellphones, so folks forgot. We still had a great discussion, and we nearly closed down the place (their hours are only until 9:00 PM).

      Television was pre-new season, so nothing much was on to provide me with any background noise while I worked. I think I turned it on half a dozen times in the past month. I stopped watching the news because it stirs too much emotion, gave up on “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune” because they had become less challenging and more of a nuisance. There is a series of music channels available, but the visuals with their trivia and fun facts about the featured artists are distracting while I’m trying to work. My satellite service wants to charge me for delivery to a radio, which I would also need to buy. No thank you.

      Went to the lab to bleed into a tube or four, and the results showed a few high numbers, but the doctor told me I’m fine. Doctor knows best. The sleep study I underwent resulted in a referral (more on that to come, once that happens). I had a chance to jump the line into an earlier appointment, but it’s for the first of October, which will be just as busy as the first of September after the holiday weekend, so I turned that chance down. My job needs me. Or I need my job. Or both.

      Meanwhile, as I look into the possibility of joining a gym, I realize that physical fit farms are way scarier than they’re made out to be. The fit folks rip into the people who are trying to get in shape, which discourages people from getting into shape just so the fit folks can rip into them. The people who use the equipment don’t always treat the devices as they should. People sweat, they don’t put any underwear between their nethers and the surfaces they sit on in just their stretchy workout clothes, because that would not look fashionable. It’s a godforsaken germ paradise waiting for a fresh body to populate upon.

      The other day I needed to explain to somebody how a year works, and they argued with me about it. You see, the individual was, like most cheap-minded people these days, looking to snag a discount just like they got between 2020 and 2023. Who cares if the place goes out of business, as long as one of their last acts was to give you a discount that put a heavier financial burden on the very industry you are actually supposed to be paying money to so they can be reliable when you need them. Anyway, the person was soon to attain a milestone, which would avail them of a discount. By soon, I mean they were in year nine of a ten-year anniversary. The person, however, was determined to convince me that year nine counts as year ten. I had to explain to an elder–whom I as a Boomer was raised to respect–that a person is not one year old at birth; one must go through 365 days to attain the age of one year, and so they must complete year ten to be eligible for the discount. Of course, the clapback was then, “So, you’re admitting that you are refusing to help me.” Where is Scott Seiss the “Ikea guy,” whose snarky customer service videos are a funny look into what some employees wish they could say? I could use his advice. I don’t know if the person is going to throw a few decades of loyalty down the drain because they can’t wait one year more or not, but I did my best to encourage the person to stick it out because I’m told the perks are worth it. But hey, let me bear the burden of watching you shoot yourself in the foot.

      I guess that’s my problem: I care too much. I show up and suit up and take the absentees and abuse and quiet in stride because that is my lot in life. This month did weigh a bit heavier than usual, just because it was so devoid of positivity.

      Maybe October will be better.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged life, mental-health, work
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