Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Tag: marriage

    • What Price Pleasure

      Posted at 3:26 pm by kayewer, on June 28, 2025

      Before I begin, I must warn you that this content is for adults and may cause extreme negative emotions, as well as some trigger reactions. Reader discretion is advised.

      Women these days often lament the issues associated with being single and unable to find a partner who can be a true human companion. Married women or those supposedly in a committed relationship also offer up commentary about how their significant others misbehave. We, as women, are having a tough time in this age of what we call enlightenment.

      In my lifetime, I have seen men degenerate from treating us like we deserve equality and respect to acting as if we’re despicable lower life forms. I could go on to write a full-blown rant about how the relationship dynamic has changed in a few decades, but I want to focus on one thing: the “O” word.

      That peak of pleasure sought after by any living creature with a hint of hormonal activity in their bodies is, in my opinion, undervalued as a commodity. Male creatures with antlers (such as rutting moose in mating season) have died entangled while jousting over who gets the females. Male praying mantises will seek out a female and lose their head for that opportunity. Really, she will bite his head off and remain conjoined with the corpse afterward, and the males don’t care; instinct overcomes all common sense.

      Of course, we are humankind and should know better.

      I could go the easy route and say that one second of bliss for us humans can set you back over a third of a million dollars; the average cost to raise a child to age 18 is about $375,000 (US), so if sperm are anywhere in the vicinity of their pre-programmed target ovum, that’s the expense you’re talking about for the next two decades. The quest for sexual pleasure has brought down kingdoms, divided nations, and ruined countless lives. All for a few seconds of existential nirvana.

      This past week I was subjected to a social media post from somebody I greatly admire for being a decent man; his name is Robbie Harvey. He has a wife whom he stood by and gave loving support during a cancer battle. He talks about human decency and values, and isn’t afraid to call his fellow men out for being anything from simple jerks to totally inhumane monsters. When a recent article he posted came into my feed, I was just as shocked as he was to watch it (link is at the end of this post).

      I will give you my best slightly enhanced TLDR (too long didn’t read) version.

      A woman delivered a baby by Caesarian section. This is the surgical birth of a baby through the abdominal wall, meaning a doctor cuts through the belly’s many layers and opens the womb to free the infant inside instead of being forced through the birth canal. This is major surgery. Women are expected to recover over many weeks while their abdomen heals. There are still baby activities (feeding, changing) needing to be done while handling breast milk, post-partum depression and all that comes with it, and post surgery comes with the specific warning of no intimacy for the duration of recovery time.

      This woman’s husband wasn’t having it. He “had needs.” She felt compelled by him to disobey the doctor’s orders, and she gave in to her spouse’s demands for sex. She ended up returning to the hospital and having additional emergency surgery, and she want into cardiac arrest during the procedure to repair her ripped-up surgical scars, which were likely pounded open by her husband’s quest for that one second of release.

      So the “big O” can also nearly cost human life, and one can only guess how much that husband cared.

      What have men in these times done to deserve us? What have we done to deserve treatment like this? The man had needs? What about the woman’s needs? I had several viscerally unprintable thoughts about how to nail the point home with that Neanderthal of a husband.

      I don’t blame Robbie Harvey for posting the story, because it brings to light some of the terrible mindsets men have these days. He has done compilations of awful things men have said to women about their looks, or after miscarriage, and brought attention to the cringe-worthy fringe men of our society who don’t seem to have a clue about how to be human. The videos are thought-provoking and worth attention. However, this one haunted me all week. What kind of person is so desperate for that one moment of what amounts to a sexual sneeze, that he would put the life of his child’s mother at risk?

      What we don’t know is whether she has left him. For all the difficulties of single parenthood, I would hope that would be the better choice for her than dealing with that buffoon.

      Yes, it makes me glad I’m single.

      https://www.facebook.com/therobbieharvey/videos/1453233082523841

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged family, marriage, women
    • (Re)Union Dues?

      Posted at 3:40 pm by kayewer, on March 8, 2025

      I have never been to any of my high school reunions, and in my opinion it may be a tradition best left to end its time and go peacefully into the annals of nostalgia. Especially with social media and live chat options, there is no need for folks of any age to travel unnecessarily for an event requiring stays in hotels of uncertain quality (if not camping out in your old bedroom at your parents’ place). Also, do you want to spend days eating at joints which sprang up well after your favorite hangouts in town went belly up? And what about the expense of carting your personal human circle along with you (especially if they did not attend your alma mater and won’t know a soul).

      The five-year reunion, overall, seems to be an opportunity to brag about graduating college, or marrying the love of your life and/or delivering the two kids you said you would in the yearbook. At ten and twenty years, most people have set up their lives and mingle with a tightly controlled group of friends, and they may attend just to sit around and grab a drink or two while reminiscing about old flames, older scandals, the ignorance of youth and the disaster that is approaching three or four decades of existence.

      At the thirty, forty and fifty year marks, people are starting to experience the added pains of age, loss and empty nests. Yes, we go through with it, and yes we all share talking about it. Why pay airfare and hotel fees to do that when you can get together in Zoom for pennies on the already-strained dollar?

      And then there are reunions from Hell like the one a writer referred to as “Really Invisible in Minnesota” experienced in Dear Abby’s March 6, 2025 column. She attended her fiftieth with her husband, both of whom went to the same school. They share this tradition every time, and at every reunion she has the same problem: everybody in her graduating class acts cordially to the husband, but they treat her like a leper. “I’ll be the first to admit I’m nothing to look at,” Really Invisible felt compelled to add, and we soon find out why: her classmates would glare and walk away whenever she attempted to be sociable. She even overheard one approach another group and say, “The dog tried to talk to me.”

      The husband is also, according to her letter, a real humdinger of a supportive spouse, one for whom social media women’s advocate Robbie Harvey would have a few choice words. When she confronted him about her mistreatment and wanted to know why he even married her, he gaslit her, saying, “It’s all in your head.”

      These are all supposedly mature adults in their 60s! What on God’s green Earth is wrong with them?

      I have been too hardened by this sort of thing to outwardly cry, but inside of me, while reading this, my heart broke for this unfortunate lady. She said nothing of whether her marriage is loving or even affirming of her self-worth, but the evidence says otherwise. Why would everybody be (and over fifty years, have been) so vicious to this individual?

      What is the husband gaining from being married to her? Why do the classmates feel it’s acceptable to continue to call a human being a “dog” because of what is obviously a combination of genetic outliers beyond her control? And what sort of horrific conspiracy is going on that nobody feels compelled to say one kind word about this poor woman?

      Really Invisible will remain anonymous, as will her tormentors, all of whom I feel should be utterly ashamed of their behavior, lack of basic human kindness and hypocritical demeanor (Abby agreed). I would enjoy getting answers from the perpetrators as to why their treatment of Really Invisible is warranted (it would make a great research story), and I would like to hear from the husband on why he doesn’t tend to the emotional and spiritual needs of the wife he chose to marry, and why he need not hold up to his responsibility to her. Unfortunately that sort of thing doesn’t happen in real life very often.

      So I will close with this to those reunion dolts and that pathetic excuse of a spouse. As we go through our later years, we often find ourselves in turmoil and experiencing pain and suffering through events happening around us that directly affect our lives. Occasionally we ask ourselves, “What have I done to deserve this?” The answer is right here in this column. What you do with that knowledge is up to you.

      Really Invisible is owed a huge apology by every one of you. She has a good soul. Yours needs fixing.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged dear-abby, high-school-reunions, marriage, ugly-ducklings
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