Sometimes people have hobbies just because they like them, no matter how they perform at them. If you ever knew somebody who played lousy golf or burned their way through the best-selling cookbook, they are folks who have those kinds of hobbies. I’m one, too.
I like to crochet, but I’m not very good at it.
Back in my younger years, I did manage to produce a tote bag, a white Easter bunny and a hat. They are the only things I was able to make to size and that I could use. I tried knitting, but it’s much less forgiving (ask anybody who has dropped a stitch, but wait until the headache medicine has kicked in). At least with crocheting, when you make a mistake, you can reverse the work by undoing all the stitches and try again. Once in a while I have to go back two rows to fix a mistake, but at least it can be done.
Crocheting anything to size depends on gauge (pronounced “gayj”), in which you are usually instructed to do a test square using the yarn and stitches in the instructions; once you have completed a square, you must count the stitches per inch and make sure they match the guidelines in your pattern. If your square is too small or large, you should use a larger or smaller crochet hook to fix the problem. This means that if your stitches are chronically off, you must have a complete set of hooks to make sure you have one which will produce the desired result.
My problem is that I am often using a large hook to begin with, so if I have to go up a size with my hook, I sometimes have to give up on the project unless I want to invent a bigger hook by carving it out of redwood with a chainsaw.
So I usually stick with things like throws and afghans. Sure the patterns call for gauge, but who is going to measure the number of stitches in an inch when they’re freezing cold and just want something to warm them up?
Besides, afghans don’t tend to rely on complicated stitches–with names like the double-loopy-half-twist popcorn stitch–which involve directions similar to square dance calls. If you can master one stitch and repeat it in a row 60 or 70 times for about five hours, you’ve got a completed project.
That’s how you nip some of these frustrating hobbies in the skein.
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