Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
    • Off the Hook

      Posted at 3:04 am by kayewer, on October 23, 2011

      Sometimes people have hobbies just because they like them, no matter how they perform at them.  If you ever knew somebody who played lousy golf or burned their way through the best-selling cookbook, they are folks who have those kinds of hobbies.  I’m one, too.

      I like to crochet, but I’m not very good at it.

      Back in my younger years, I did manage to produce a tote bag, a white Easter bunny and a hat.  They are the only things I was able to make to size and that I could use.  I tried knitting, but it’s much less forgiving (ask anybody who has dropped a stitch, but wait until the headache medicine has kicked in).  At least with crocheting, when you make a mistake, you can reverse the work by undoing all the stitches and try again.  Once in a while I have to go back two rows to fix a mistake, but at least it can be done.

      Crocheting anything to size depends on gauge (pronounced “gayj”), in which you are usually instructed to do a test square using the yarn and stitches in the instructions; once you have completed a square, you must count the stitches per inch and make sure they match the guidelines in your pattern.  If your square is too small or large, you should use a larger or smaller crochet hook to fix the problem.  This means that if your stitches are chronically off, you must have a complete set of hooks to make sure you have one which will produce the desired result.

      My problem is that I am often using a large hook to begin with, so if I have to go up a size with my hook, I sometimes have to give up on the project unless I want to invent a bigger hook by carving it out of redwood with a chainsaw.

      So I usually stick with things like throws and afghans.  Sure the patterns call for gauge, but who is going to measure the number of stitches in an inch when they’re freezing cold and just want something to warm them up?

      Besides, afghans don’t tend to rely on complicated stitches–with names  like the double-loopy-half-twist popcorn stitch–which involve directions similar to square dance calls.  If you can master one stitch and repeat it in a row 60 or 70 times for about five hours, you’ve got a completed project.

      That’s how you nip some of these frustrating hobbies in the skein.

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      Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged crochet, guage
    • What Dancing Judges Do

      Posted at 2:27 am by kayewer, on October 16, 2011

      Frankly I’m tired of hearing people boo Dancing With the Stars judge Len Goodman.  Yes I guess I am a fuddy-duddy for playing devil’s advocate, but he deserves a good defense, and by gum this Yank is going to give him one.

      Our world has become confusing enough when it comes to competitions of any kind.  If we listened to some sour grapers out there who condemn those who come in second place (the old “failure is not an option” gone wild philosophy), there would be no reason to engage in competitive sports.  Just pick a person, let them run it and win it, and the rest can go home.

      As far as I’m concerned, a race is something which, if you start it and finish it, you have won.  I feel just as good watching somebody limp across the tape dead last as for the first fit sprinter.  I’m sure I could no sooner do a marathon than dance a tango, but I do know that competitions have purpose and reason, and they also have rules.  Those who keep the closest to the rules usually wins.

      It is the judges who “keep the books” on rules.  If the rules were to change every time a little glitch comes up (like people who don’t come in first place or can’t do a samba roll), the original purpose of the activity is lost.  Mr. Goodman is on DWTS to scrutinize the dancers and watch for the elements which make up a particular dance.  Some dances require a constant contact (or hold); others, like waltzes, rely on rhythmic movements.  My favorite, the Paso Doble, has intense exaggerated poses.  The key to a good dance is how well each specific element is performed.

      Of course, for the show and the entertainment value, the producers allow the celebrities and their partners some leeway to “dress up” the dances.  In regular ballroom and Latin competitions, there are no props or set dressings like we see on the show; often Mr. Goodman comments on some of the extraneous setups  and it’s obvious he would rather see the couples get on with the matter at hand. It’s what he is used to.  Go on YouTube and watch any Pro-Am ballroom competition and you’ll see how serious the sport really is.  The competitors have seconds to recognize the music and get into hold and start dancing.  No rehearsal tapes provided.

      What bothers me is that anytime Len Goodman says something that is negative (and unfortunately, often true) about a routine, the audience goes into a lather and boos.  I’m sure a few of the booing audience members might well be ballroom dancers themselves and may disagree with the judges, but the man is doing his job and means well; it’s as much for the good of the professionals to hear his input than for the celebrity who is trying to look like a pro fresh out of ballroom kindergarten.

      In fact, I’m sure the pros put their lives on hold to train the celebrities, and not working with an experienced partner is akin to going off one’s diet, making it harder to get back on track.  I’ve seen pros like Tony Dovolani take top prizes in “real” ballroom competitions, so Len’s advice can’t hurt his continued success.

      I also admire Carrie Ann Inaba and Bruno Tonioli, who also have jobs to do as choreography judges, but I notice that they don’t get the boo volume of Len.  It’s time to look at the trio for what they are there to do and be nicer to contest judges.  Let’s also take the time to tango.

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      Posted in Theatre/Movies/Entertainment | 0 Comments | Tagged ABC, Dancing With the Stars, DWTS, Len Goodman
    • The Boss’ Pocket?

      Posted at 2:46 am by kayewer, on October 9, 2011

      A band of activists is on tour to focus the nation’s attention on corporate greed.  Michael Douglas had a character in the film Wall Street who said that greed was good, and certainly corporate America is not without its band of rich executives.  Corporate America is also filled with underappreciated executives.

      I can’t help but laugh at the fact that Douglas’ character was named Gecko, while Geico has a computer generated gecko–one of its most successful and recognizable icons–who doesn’t need to be paid at all.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments
    • A Few Kudos for Andy Rooney

      Posted at 2:01 am by kayewer, on October 2, 2011

      That curmudgeonly champion of commentary, Andy Rooney, gives his last regular segment on the CBS network news program 60 Minutes on October 2nd.  But old commentators never really retire, do they?  The right to voice an opinion is as old as the soapbox on which one stands to do it, and older.

      It seems that people like to hear commentary from other people because, whether it’s the same as or different from our own, their ideas may have something unique that will expand our own knowledge.  If not, it may confirm something we already know (like the other person’s idea isn’t good at all).  Either way, the experience can be enlightening.

      Shows like 60 Minutes entertain and inform, much like newspapers, electronic media and protest gatherings (but the latter isn’t always as safe, as they are prone to getting a bit out of hand).  The closing segment has become a staple of news programs, and nobody did it better:  Andy Rooney made it enjoyable to laugh at ourselves and occasionally get mad about things that just don’t seem right.  He took the time to examine everyday things like kitchen tools (in a kitchen drawer cleaning, he found he owned more than one nutcracker and couldn’t figure out why, since nobody in his family tends to crack nuts), abnormal things like wars, the complexity of our language (if he ever reads this, I hope I got it right) and the simplicity of life in its stripped-down essence.

      Like most of us, he has made a blooper or two, getting himself sidelined from the show on one infamous occasion because he referred to something that CBS feared would inflame emotions among some viewers.  Luckily God forgives our human flaws, and CBS did as well (that and sagging ratings in protest).

      I didn’t know that Mr. Rooney’s original segment on 60 Minutes was a bi-weekly time slot shared with another called “Point/Counterpoint.”  I didn’t watch the show as much back in the 1970s (it just didn’t seem like a show for me).  Now I finally get the full thrust of the NBC  Saturday Night Live joke about CBS’s “dueling commentator” concept that was ultimately taken off the air so that Rooney could chime in every week all by himself.  He became a part of the ritual of the show; folks who would skip an entire program if they were too late to tune it in would jump aboard in the last minutes to hear what Andy had to say.  He never disappointed.

      Of course, blogs like mine are an offshoot of news commentary and that simple little soapbox.  I try to be interesting and hope readers are fulfilled with what I have to say.  Sure I’ve watched and taken mental notes on how Andy Rooney does it.  Thank goodness he has books on the market as well, now that he is semi-retired, so his words will always be around.  CBS says the door is always open if he wants to add his two cents sometime in the future.  I hope he has a few good two-centers left in him and that we haven’t seen the last of him.  He is a gem of a guy.

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      Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged 60 minutes, Andy Rooney
    • Motivate-Shun

      Posted at 2:08 am by kayewer, on September 25, 2011

      Some people diet successfully with a goal in mind.  I guess I’m not one of them.

      I have an event coming up in November, for which I figured I could possibly lose a few pounds.  It should be simple; when you eat a lot, you gain, so eat less and lose.  40 days into my motivational dieting and not a pound has come off.

      This means that, in an office full of bad foods, I avoided them and didn’t lose.  Extra trips to stores to have a reason to walk more didn’t help.  Filling myself with salads and no dressing didn’t help.  Switching from 2% to 1% milk didn’t help.

      Taking sodas (with their baggage of high fructose corn syrup and strange portion size issues) completely out of my diet didn’t help, either.  In fact, I tried to come up with a drink of my own, consisting of club soda with a splash of lemon and lime juices which I called Urp Number 7 (because it slightly resembles its real-life counterpart, it does bubble, and it took seven tries to get the recipe right).  This concoction was designed to be an accessory to the nearly 40 ounces of water and hot tea I drink daily at the office to stay hydrated.  All it did was send me on more bathroom breaks.

      The cafeteria at work has nice salads, so I tried a plate of greens with just spinach, lettuce, green pepper, mushrooms and about a tablespoon of fat-free vinaigrette.  The bottomless stomach didn’t even register a hint of satisfaction.

      In fact, I’ve gotten hungrier because of the deprivation.  The other day I treated myself to a plain donut at the office; it tasted heavenly.  When the office has had donuts six times since I started this program, I think I scored a B for only succumbing once.

      During the program, I took the time to look at portion sizes of everything, and it doesn’t seem right that food labels aren’t true to packaging.  Why can’t I have eight ounces of a beverage like iced tea for 100 calories, instead of wasting the other 150 on a larger bottle that I don’t intend to drink?  Needless to say, bottled tea did not go on my diet shopping list.

      Ice cream is off the list, too, but if one were to try portion control it is a son of a gun.  A portion size is really little more than a mouthful, so most of us are having a dish or cone which is at least ten times what one should eat.  And some folks eat ice cream every day.  I don’t.  Still, the pounds stubbornly cling and mock my attempts at success.

      So I’ll go to the event weighing the same, but packed into a nice, strangling control garment.

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      Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged dieting, weight loss goal
    • Bullying Pulpit Part II

      Posted at 2:17 am by kayewer, on September 18, 2011

      October is National Bullying Awareness Month.  I don’t know why it wasn’t pushed up to September, when school starts, but it’s good to have a month each year devoted to a perpetual and misunderstood problem.

      I have noticed a trend among televised anti-bullying media.  The articles start with a profile of how much bullying is going on in schools (estimates are that 15-25% of students are bullied), then a parent of a victim (living or dead by suicide) speaks up about stopping the madness, then the piece closes with a blurb about a forum or other event trying to target local bullying.

      It’s a step in the right direction.  Back in pre-segregation times, or in some current religious cultures, nobody has held a forum to stop racial violence or stood up against religious-based spousal abuse with the same degree of dedication.  Nobody seems to look at film footage of crowds being pummelled by spray from fire hoses and call it bullying, but it was.  And it was perpetrated by adults, openly, while other adults watched.  In many cultures open forum bullying isn’t even blinked at.  Maybe that’s why we can’t stop it in schools:  we expect our children to grow into the adult culture we insist upon.

      Deep inside us, there is an iota of brain matter that says it is okay to forcibly discomfort other people mentally or physically to align them with our own ideals.  It starts in school when all students–regardless of problems such as income, family values or learning roadblocks like dyslexia or ADD–are held to a conformity that dictates every aspect of life.  For instance, most schools claim they have no dress code, yet bullying targets visual perceptions of fashion conformity (just try talking your did into not buying those overpriced jeans). When lesson time comes, teachers who rely on lecture-based lessons may lose the attention of students who process visual aids more effectively.

      Maybe instead of charter schools concentrating solely on subject specific learning goals, they should concentrate on the education of a population based on their ability to learn.  A school that allows visual aid based learning for students who don’t process lectures well might help.  Schools might also consider a dress code that may not require uniforms, but would focus on specific clothing items which could be afforded by all students and would not cause distractions like the student who comes to class in big-money fashion while another wears more cost-conscious garb.

      We should also continue the trend toward tolerance.  Once we have united our human race, we can start dealing with other problems more effectively without concentrating on differences that really don’t matter, such as religion, color, choice of pizza toppings or what cell phone upgrade you’re using.

      And no, this topic is not exhausted yet.

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      Posted in Commentary | 1 Comment | Tagged bullies, bullying
    • From Pillar to Post Office

      Posted at 2:42 am by kayewer, on September 11, 2011

      The post offices are in trouble because people aren’t writing letters as much as they used to.  I’m guilty of that crime just by posting this online.  The senior management as the postal service is talking about discontinuing Saturday mail delivery and cutting jobs to stave off default on their financial obligations.

      Sure, the computer age is partially to blame, because email is easy to type, quick to deliver and doesn’t require paper, a writing implement or a 44 cent stamp.  On the other hand, these virtues are in themselves sins that are negatively affecting our proper use of the English language.

      I do have issues with the electronic age that I don’t have with so-called “snail mail.”  For example, typing gives you many more opportunities to make mistakes in spelling, punctuation and grammar.  I pity those who rely heavily on “spell check” or other online grammar devices.  I groan and right-click my way through many a warning that my computer offers, accusing me of writing “run-on” sentences.  I plow through those squiggly lines at about 65 words per minute (without my first cup of tea).

      With handwriting, one must sit and take time to craft characters and periods and commas, so one must also stop to think about sentence structure.  I don’t think many people hand scribe “LOL” on a piece of stationery.

      I can’t say that any script font in all Microsoft Land can beat good penmanship, with a real pen and blue or black ink.  In fact, after suffering the ignorance of elementary school teachers who bowed out of the responsibility of teaching good penmanship, I took the time to hone my script myself and I’ll be darned if I’ll let that skill go just because I use a keyboard every work day.  I still write in journals, hand write greeting cards and envelopes and enjoy using those little sticky notes to jot down notes to myself.  Even the little one-inch variety can be fun to use.

      We could ask some of our elders about the good old days when mail delivery was twice daily during the holidays, or when one could take a discount on stamps if they inserted the flap on the envelope without sealing it (don’t ask me why that made a difference, but it did).

      Letters have always been the tangible evidence of life lived.  Years ago I had the privilege of seeing Leonardo da Vinci’s notes in New York, up close.  He wrote copiously, sometimes in backwards mirror code, sometimes in circular print and always in Italian.  I took the time to look at the ancient writing set to parchment so long ago, and marvelled at how fresh it looked under glass, just inches from my eyes.  The ages between us didn’t seem to matter.  When will that be said of an email?  In fact, which of these electronic blips in a machine’s memory will outlive us?

      There is something about sitting down and writing a letter that slows down time, relieves stress and grounds us in the world that is really simple but for our own machinations that surge us forward with time-saving on the mind.  The pen is really mightier than Microsoft Word when it comes to reminding ourselves that some old things like the post office are still relevant and need to be preserved.

      (P.S.  Back on 9/11 I was the first person on a message board to post about the events in New York and Washington.  The post disappeared with the message board.  If it had been a piece of mail, it would still be around today.)

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      Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged post office trouble, snail mail, us postal service, usps
    • Bullying Pulpit

      Posted at 2:30 am by kayewer, on September 4, 2011

      Every time the subject of bullying comes up, in my mind come two questions.  First, do bullies remember being bullies?  Second, do they remember who they bullied?

      In New Jersey, a Bill of Rights focused on bullying was signed by Governor Christie.  It is designed to make school students and faculty aware of their responsibilities to prevent harassment, intimidation and bullying.  It aims to form committees, involve law enforcement, and encourage active participation to stop negative behaviors before they get out of control.

      Though I’m a bullying survivor, nobody ever asks me for my opinion, because it’s been awhile since I dreaded the possibility that I would set foot inside my school and find myself on the receiving end of an attack.  Once school is out, nobody remembers or cares.  The end of school is like the end of war:  whatever happened, folks would rather forget about it and move on.  But servicemen come back from war with horrors etched into their souls, and emotional scars, regardless of origin, don’t just go away.

      I can tell you from experience that, somewhere in the list of causes of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), there should be a section devoted to being a victim of bullying and the lingering emotional pain it can cause.

      Harassment, intimidation and bullying are all steps on the ladder of racism, ethnic cleansing and outright war, in that they attack the existence of humanity on an individual as well as a group level.  Even though we are moving toward a global understanding and tolerance model, we still have not gained enough common sense to realize that no single-minded population exists without some outliers on either side of what is considered the norm.  We tend to think of the differences between our own social groups with such stubborn prejudice that it would be just as easy to wage a war between coffee and tea drinkers as it would be to put a religion against another just because one does this and the other that.

      Once I saw a news story on television about the symmetry of the human face.  There actually isn’t any.  If one were to take one side of their face and duplicate it for the other side, the resulting face would be astonishingly different.  That’s because life itself has no set of features, no symmetry or perfection.  Groups form because they share common bonds, but not all of the bonds are the same.  Sadly, if somebody has a flaw that the others don’t like, they will reject that individual in spite of all they have in common.  Bullying is just a part of that sad journey toward rejection rather than acceptance.

      Besides, after school has ended and we have all gone off to live our lives, I don’t think anybody has had somebody say to them, “Congratulations on telling So-and-so how (insert putdown here) they were.  That shows you really are a person of character.”

      I hear the Bullying Bill of Rights is some 16 pages long.  I don’t think it will help, either.  Words and threats are the bully’s weapons in the first place.  It is an appeal to the soul that is needed.  Bullying damages souls on both sides.  That is an argument for another time, but it does need examining before bullying can truly be stopped.

      —To Be Continued.

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      Posted in Commentary | 1 Comment | Tagged bullies, bully, bullying, nj bullying bill of rights
    • Scrapple, Scrapple, Scrapple

      Posted at 8:35 pm by kayewer, on August 27, 2011

      Lovely scrapple, wonderful scrapple. . .sorry, I was revising a classic Monty Python song about Spam and made it into a scrapple anthem.  I had scrapple this week, but a coworker wasn’t too happy about it when I told her.

      After I mentioned it, she read about this traditional local food in Wikipedia, and the information there didn’t make it seem so appetizing.  The article mentions that processors use the pig parts that aren’t sold as other things, such as the head, heart and liver, and cook them in a broth to which they add flour and “mush” it together into a loaf.  Images of stewing pig heads in rows of pots must have turned her stomach.  I’m sure it’s not quite that gross.

      Habbersett, the maker of a popular scrapple, says the ingredients include “Pork stock, pork, pork skins, corn meal, wheat flour, pork hearts, pork livers, pork tongues, salt and spices.”  So there is lots of pork, pork, pork, pork. . .sorry, Monty Python again.

      Rapa, another scrapple maker, uses stock, liver and snouts.  Really, when you think about all the chemicals that go into some of the products we’re expected to digest (carrageenan, anybody?), I don’t think it’s gross to use any edible part of anything natural.  The native Americans (Indians) didn’t waste anything on a buffalo, and I’m sure that clean snouts and organs are just as edible as those on a chicken (oh my mouth is watering for chicken livers) or cattle.  (Vegans and vegetarians, I love you and respect your choice not to eat these things.  I also appreciate your reading this blog and thank you for sending any non-vitriolic replies on the subject).

      Considering other regional foods such as pepperpot soup made with beef tripe (look it up, folks), or lutefisk, or things prepared with ghee–which, unfortunately, I can’t get past my nose–I find the idea of scrapple not quite so distasteful. In fact, it’s spicy and delicious in a sandwich or by itself.  That and pork roll are special treats in this region, and I’ve grown up with them.

      On the other hand, the other day I finally broke down and tried a clam.  It was a tiny one, smaller than a dime, with black bean sauce.  I found it rather chewy and bland, but I was glad to see them in a buffet where I could try one without feeling I wasted my money on a whole entrée which I might not have eaten.  The idea of mollusk flesh resembling loogies has never suited me, but after seeing the reaction to my enjoyment of scrapple, I figured I should put my sense of adventure where my mouth is and try something new.  They’re edible, but I wouldn’t shell out (bad pun) money for a plate of them.  Sorry.

      Some folks won’t be convinced to try scrapple.  Fine with me.  But know that it exists and some folks like it, and that doesn’t hurt anybody.  Pass me some white bread and ketchup for my scrapple sandwich, please, and here’s to whatever is on your plate today.

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      Posted in Commentary, Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged scrapple
    • In the Cell-ar

      Posted at 2:18 am by kayewer, on August 21, 2011

      Some folks over-use their cell phone plans; I under-use mine, and it’s still going to cost me.  My plan might well be an ongoing no-win scenario.

      Sure, some of the folks we all hear about who are cellular addicts practically have their thumbs surgically attached to their devices and a Bluetooth(R) glued to their ears.  Plans costing $50 a month or more get eaten up in text messages and minutes and burn holes in people’s wallets all the time.  For folks like me, who are on a budget and only use the phone for calls we really need to make (not to tell a friend the new hairdo looks great or the dog likes his new diet food), it’s hard to get a plan that works for us.

      Monthly plans are not budget friendly if they are the equivalent of a tank of gas (or two) every month and you either don’t use it enough, or talk and text through them before 30 days run out and have to add more.  Whether you use the phone that often or not, it’s money out like so much water down the drain.

      Pre-paid plans give you a phone and a monthly, quarterly or yearly payment option that gets deducted only as you use the device, and normally the best option is to pay for a year.

      Unfortunately the phones aren’t always the most inviting to use.  I’ve been through three phones; one was a step above ancient when I was politely told in a letter from my carrier that I had no choice but to upgrade.  You know your phone is older than dirt when your cellular carrier makes you give it up.  I kept the second phone until even its logo was ancient.  The third was recommended to me by a nice salesperson who introduced me to getting the Internet on my phone.  It loads sometimes, on a good day, but the screen is too small for a true webpage experience.  Still, it was within my budget, and it still enables me to make calls and check my email.

      The problem is my habit of not using the phone for everything except personal hygiene.  I can’t play “Angry Birds.”  I can’t speed text because the keyboard is not QWERTY (oh my).  After so much hitting a number button six times to get the character needed, texting gets to be bothersome.

      Oh, and did I mention the screen is tiny (like an oversized postage stamp)?

      So I’ve paid loyally and annually for a year of usage, but after awhile you can’t pay for another year because too much money is sitting in your prepaid account.  Ouch!

      I recently went to the phone store to discuss my problem with the helpful representatives there.  A nice salesperson (or should I say associate) called the big bosses at the main headquarters for help.  There really was none.  The funds on account can’t be refunded or applied to something else like a better phone so I can text on a full QWERTY keyboard.  The only solution is for me to try to find a way to use the phone more, and quickly, so I can lower my balance enough to continue with my current plan.

      Use it or lose it.

      Public phones are going away, and more people are on budgets than ever before, and we mean wallets so tight the presidents’ faces on the bills look like they’ve gotten a facelift.  You’d think the cellular carriers would be more accommodating.  I’m going to try to talk and text gaily for a while to see how much of my own money I can whittle away to satisfy my carrier’s rules and policies, but I can’t help feeling oppressed and helpless with something I had hoped would be a help rather than a hinderance.

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      Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged AT&T Cellular, cell phone plan
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