kayewer

Author Archives: kayewer
- Traffic Kindergarten
  
  Posted at 12:28 am by kayewer, on July 19, 2009
  Last night, like quite a few others in the past years, I spent 50 minutes to go roughly ten miles on I-95 in Delaware. There was no accident, and traffic normally runs smoothly on other days despite a two-lane exit project leading up to the Delaware Memorial Bridge. However, after many such nights of brake-tapping, I think I figured out what happens to tie up the line of northbound traffic.
  
  The vehicles entering I-95 come from the Delaware Turnpike exit and about four on-ramps from other major roads. Two right lanes are designated for entering and lining up for the exit to the bridge, so sometimes the number of cars is greater than the traffic flow and the line slows down.
  
  What really slows it down more than necessary, however, are those drivers who either speed through the two left lanes or slip out of the two right lanes, move up to the “last chance” entrance point where the divider begins, then play innocent and convince other drivers waiting in line to let them slide in ahead of them.
  
  In kindergarten, this was called butting in line. In adult life, it’s simply being a self-centered, careless jerk.
  
  The semis, thank goodness, stay in line and are very polite when drivers enter the lane from an artery. They don’t tend to bully their way around, even though they certainly could considering their size. Some of my fellow commuters, however, seem to feel they have a right to cut in front and, by proxy, extend the wait for the other honest folks who are waiting their turn. If not for the line-jumpers, I think the wait would be a minimum of 10-15 minutes, but on a day like yesterday I spent 50 minutes getting to a bridge which normally takes 15.
  
  The alternative route would be to continue up I-95 to the Commodore Barry Bridge, but it is an extended drive north that few choose to take when the other bridge is so close and they can just jump the line to get home sooner. There really should be a way to stop such practices, but I know the wonderful Delaware officers on those roads have enough on their hands already, so they shouldn’t have to play kindergarten playground monitor for adults who should know better.
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged I-95, speeding, traffic
- What is Normal? What is Acceptable?
  
  Posted at 11:41 pm by kayewer, on July 11, 2009
  It’s a question we subconsciously put to ourselves and others every day. We often want to know if something is normal. Often the barometer used for measuring normalcy is the opinions of others, rather than a scientific fact, but we use what is quickly and readily available to us to measure what is normal or acceptable.
  
  Eating breakfast every morning is normal for me. I always have the same breakfast during the week, and the changes I make on the weekends are the same, consistent variations every weekend. That, for me, is normal. Somebody may look at my breakfast, however, and deem it abnormal. They may think I eat too many carbs or too much sugar, and they might be armed with an armful of books disputing my choice of breakfast. On the other hand, they may eat bean sprouts for breakfast, which for me would be rather abnormal.
  
  I wear shoes with thicker soles when it rains, because I think it helps keep water from puddles out of my shoes. The idea of wearing flip-flops in rainy weather would not be normal for me, and I can’t understand why anybody else would willingly walk around in flip-flops when it’s raining. Rain water carries germs and bacteria, and people walking in flip-flops then carry that contamination into public places and into their own homes. That, for me, would be pleasant. Public places sometimes accept summer clothing choices which may not be in the best interest of other people, simply in hopes of receiving the offenders’ business. Wearing flip-flops as footwear other than for beaches or swimming pools might be accepted as normal, but it may not be truly acceptable behavior everywhere.
  
  Churches are having issues about attendees wearing more casual attire when coming to services. But then, sometimes congregants come in without having had breakfast, either. What we accept as normal has been changing quite a bit lately. Every day we ask ourselves what lines we will cross to get through another day, and it becomes harder to tighten the restrictions and easier to accept a new normalcy.
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- Killing With a Word?
  
  Posted at 11:33 pm by kayewer, on July 4, 2009
  The cyberbullying case of Lori Drew, the mother who posed as a boy on MySpace and was taken to court in the resulting suicide of her victim Megan Meier, is unique to be sure. First, the bullies were the parents; second, the victim was apparently targeted because she may have been saying things about Drew’s own daughter online (I haven’t seen anything to indicate that any rumors were indeed spread, or that they merited the death of Megan); third, the victim committed suicide while the source of the despair that aided in the act was in another house and nowhere near her.
  
  A judge decided that the conviction on three misdemeanor counts (unauthorized access to MySpace which could have garnered a year in prison) was a sufficient sentence, because the jury could not come up with enough to garner any felony charges. Also, a co-conspirator in the cyberbullying said nobody read the terms of the MySpace agreement, and the judge apparently felt that not reading those terms could not be an offense in itself.
  
  So what does a regular human being make of such a case, in which people can seemingly commit long-distance murder with impunity?
  
  I’ve mulled over this event from several sides, and only one truth has kept creeping up in my mind. There is nothing of this earth that forces us to be loving human beings. A parent does not have to love their children: they can choose to beat them, starve them, force them to eat spinach, participate in beauty pageants or peewee football or sit in a dark basement for hours at a time. Children don’t have to be nice to each other: in fact, if I had a penny for everytime I have read about victims of bullying in school, I’d be bailing out Donald Trump today.
  
  On the other hand, there is also no rule that says a victim has to keep taking the abuse. Unfortunately, when we beat the dog we shoot it when it strikes back, which shows just how barbaric we are. We can dish it out, but we can’t take it.
  
  Let’s face it: we support bullying, and we support a class system, and we support cruelty to others if it means less cruelty for us, simply by letting it happen.
  
  I don’t have a negative word to say about Lori Drew: she set out to do something and she succeeded, and a jury agreed. I do feel deeply for Megan’s family, because even though we as a human race seem to support bullying, nobody deserves to be bullied to death.
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  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged cyberbully, Lori Drew
- Michael Jackson: What Hath Humanity Wrought?
  
  Posted at 11:34 pm by kayewer, on June 27, 2009
  I was shocked to hear about the death of Michael Jackson, but quite a few thoughts about the effect of his passing on the world also entered my head at the same time. I could prattle on about his songs, his moonwalking, his videos, the controversy; because he was a world celebrity, everybody else will flog his life story to death anyway. Therefore, I won’t do that.
  
  As I saw news footage of empty Michael Jackson CD and video racks at the stores, I thought it ironic that, in a world where the general public usually cheats their favorite artists out of their sales commissions (either on purpose or by accident) by downloading everything by computer, within minutes of the announcement that the star died everybody turned to the tangible sources of entertainment to soothe their upset spirits.
  
  Does that sudden surge in record store sales mean all the remaining brick and mortar chains (FYE, for example) are still doomed to close eventually unless all the singers in the world die? I came from the world of vinyl, cassettes and CDs, and I don’t own an IPod. I prefer buying a music source that I know pays the artist his or her due, so I hope the stores don’t have to wait for the infamy of death to make their registers ring.
  
  Which brings me to another thought I had: that Michael Jackson never really got to be a regular person. He worked for a living, but it wasn’t a job in an office or a construction site or hospital (though he probably visited all of them at one time or another). He was an entertainer. He submitted to the glam personification of his being that made him something beyond the ordinary human. He gave up such basics as driving to the store, going to a high school basketball game, even using a public restroom without bodyguards. He went to lavish parties at which he had to watch what little he was allowed to eat (imagine if he tried to moonwalk at 300 lbs), and had all his clothes picked out for him to meet the demands of a prefabricated image. Can you imagine wanting to hang around in a tee shirt and sweat pants when you’re Michael Jackson? It would be like spotting a priest in a Speedo: it’s perfectly okay for 90 percent of humanity, but not for those we balance on pedestals of status.
  
  He was denied a regular childhood, yet people wonder why he craved the chance to enjoy those things he didn’t have in youth, like a theme park all to himself (imagine him trying to have a fun day at Six Flags), or a bunch of kids at a sleepover. True, once a person crosses a numerical threshold such behavior is frowned upon, and some of the stories about children at Neverland ranch were a bit hinky, but we as worshippers of that image of Michael Jackson are somewhat to blame. Sure we wanted to see him perform for our ticket money, but he also had the fundamental right to be a child when he was one and not have to wait for a belated childhood once he could afford one.
  
  We do cruel and hateful things to our celebrities and don’t expect them to be hurt. When they die we speak highly of them, but we should really treat them better while they are with us.
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- All A-Twitter
  
  Posted at 11:07 pm by kayewer, on June 20, 2009
  It’s a pain in the neck at my age to always be behind the times and unable to catch up. First it was microwaves, and then IPhones; now it’s Twitter. As if instant messaging on IPhones isn’t cool enough, or Facebook or MySpace don’t quite cut it anymore, now one has to log all of their activities into cyberspace on some sort of mega-public cyberspace diary.
  
  Sorry. My life isn’t that interesting to warrant a bit of space on Twitter.
  
  I remember when I sent my first text message ever: I used a privilege granted to me by my using an AT&T cellphone (which, by the way, is two years old) and voted on Dancing With the Stars, which meant I texted one word: “Vote.” I don’t think that would raise an eyebrow on Twitter, but it was an accomplishment for me. I still text “vote” every season. That’s about it.
  
  When would I log in my life story anyway? I already have to account to my boss for my workweek. That’s tough to do, because by the time I come up for air after three hours straight staring at a cubicle corner highlighted by a dual screen computer filled with things to be done, I’m more ready to take a bio break than try to explain what functions I just performed.
  
  Watchdog groups claim that a large chunk of the average workday is taken up by things not related to performing the job; I’m sure Twitter has contributed to this. Instead of sending dull recounts of my day, I try to work on my novel, which has made considerable progress since May thanks to my determined concentration on the matter at hand. I have noticed that some folks at work use time in the cafeteria to text, IM or tweet. I write. with a pen. How simplistic and old-school, right?
  
  I also refuse to do anything other than the purpose for which a restroom was intended during bio breaks. I don’t take my cell with me, though occasionally I do hear people talking while pooing (ew) and wonder what could be so important that the call couldn’t wait for two minutes.
  
  I look at Twitter like this: when a bird chirps in the woods, others hear it, but with so many people tweeting on Twitter, the noise overwhelms the forest and no one bird ever stands out or gets the chance to be truly heard.
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- DTV: One Minor Detail
  
  Posted at 10:21 pm by kayewer, on June 13, 2009
  On Tuesday, June 9, our region experienced an extreme weather event unlike any we had seen in decades. My neighborhood in particular was directly in the path of the most volatile storm cells, and hail fell in spots. Across the street from my home, a neighbor’s tree succumbed to the wind, downpour, lightning or a combination of any of them, and blew over onto a garage. Fortunately no vehicle was inside and nobody was hurt.
  
  The power also went out for nearly three hours.
  
  Barely 72 hours before the scheduled June 12 transition into the digital age of television, we found ourselves breaking out something that was in its last hours of existence: the little battery-powered portable TV/radio/cassette player we kept for emergencies. The screen was only three inches, and it was black and white (horrors!), but we picked up the local newscast without power simply by popping nine D batteries into the back of the gizmo. At least we were able to find out that no other imminent danger was on the horizon in the absence of electricity.
  
  Just for the heck of it, we set up the little battery-loving machine next to our main set in time for one network’s official countdown to switching off the analog signal: suddenly, at 12:15 PM, the little picture turned to snow and wavy lines. It was a strange experience.
  
  What, we wondered, will television networks do to inform the public during future power outages?
  
  According to the website DTVanswers.com, our power-outage helpmate can survive the conversion with a similarly battery powered digital to analog converter if the proper connections are in the back. Doesn’t it seem rather odd to have to take your portable and a converter and two sets of batteries to, say, the beach or campground?
  
  Some folks might be thinking it’s better to pitch the old stuff, but if you’ve seen what happens to the world’s forgotten electronics on shows like 60 Minutes–children in countries like India sorting through piles of wires, metal and chemical waste to sift out profitable bits to sell or recycle–you’d give it another thought.
  
  Analog television still has a purpose, and I fear it may be needed in the future, as we modernize ourselves to the point of no return.
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  Posted in Commentary, Theatre/Movies/Entertainment | 0 Comments
- There’s Boyle-ing and Then There’s Boiling
  
  Posted at 12:21 am by kayewer, on May 31, 2009
  During the past week, a Philadelphia area woman apparently cooked up an elaborate scheme to get away from her financial problems: one of them appears to be that she is suspected of being in possession of large sums of money which may not be legitimately hers. She allegedly called 911 and told dispatchers she and her young daughter had been put in the trunk of her stolen vehicle by two black men. The vehicle turned up in the middle of Philadelphia with a ticket on its windshield, and security cameras later caught her with her child at the airport; the mother borrowed a friend’s ID to get the plane ticket. Ultimately both were picked up at Disney World and brought home. The daughter was placed in the custody of her biological father, while the current spouse is stuck at home with their other children (including a new baby) and a lot of unanswered questions.
  
  Meanwhile, we have Susan Boyle, the Rocky Balboa of our time, an aesthetically average underdog challenging all of Britain in their (original) version of “(Insert Country Name Here)’s Got Talent.” In the weeks following her spectacular debut she has been unduly pressured to upgrade her look and not mind tons of overly-enthusiastic publicity seekers bothering her constantly: recently she supposedly had a fit of bad temper, cussing and wondering if her quest was really worth the price.
  
  In both cases we have women who have gotten themselves into unusual situations, and outside forces are playing dodgeball with their minds. Whether their actions are criminal or just a quest for recognition, validation or a different life, we are fascinated by the process as the onlookers in these events. Has anybody told Susan Boyle, “Don’t sing unless you want people to start expecting you to become famous,” or have the Philly mom’s friends said, “We won’t respect you unless you have a lot of money” and compelled her to live beyond her means?
  
  Why is is that we always destroy the things we cherish most? When our bedrock documents mentioned such concepts as the pursuit of happiness, it didn’t mean we should construct roadblocks in such a way that one cannot achieve those goals. It also didn’t mean that pursuing happiness involves money, fame or status. However, we embrace these ideals and are dissapointed by the means to achieve these ends.
  
  With happiness comes much responsibility. Whether you achieve it justly or unjustly, you are ultimately accountable for how you got there, and those around us share the burden of whatever roadblocks we place in the way of others while we pursue our own happiness. We are all players in the pursuit game, and stories like these are good reasons to reflect on how our actions with others fuel the things that put us down.
  
  I wish Susan Boyle all the best as a person and a singer. I hope the Philly mom gets everything straightened out. Let’s look forward to seeing the right people step in and help them reach the goals best suited to them so they may find happiness.
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- There But For the Remote Go I
  
  Posted at 11:53 pm by kayewer, on May 23, 2009
  ABC really depressed me last night. I just wanted to catch up on some shows I had missed, and wound up in the middle of a mixed up collection of people on television who did not in any way lift my spirits.
  
  It started with Wife Swap, which always has featured two families who may not necessarily inspire the world but can at least help each other see the error of their ways when it comes to their daily lives. One family was obsessed with activities and aesthetics, while the other was blended and more laid back. I couldn’t identify with either of them. I may not be the perfect human body, but I don’t let it all go to pot either. The mother of the perfectionist family had skin that, in the words of the swap family’s husband, looked like saddle leather for all the tanning she did. She used her experience with counseling to overburden her kids and keep them overprotected by making them ride in booster seats in the car simply because they hadn’t made the car safety watchdogs’ minimum weight requirement for not needing them anymore. So the measurement of being “grown up” is also a weight as well as a state of being? Or is safety based on adding an accessory to a vehicle instead of making the seat belts match the various requirements of their riders?
  
  Then came Supernanny, which featured a family in which the mother had lost her husband to terminal cancer two weeks prior to taping. The neighborhood came out to support her in raising her infant son and young daughter. It was depressing that cancer is still so rampant in our world. It was depressing that so many neighborhoods are not like the one depicted in the story (many suburban areas’ residents don’t even know who lives next door).
  
  Finally came the segment on children with Tourette’s Syndrome going to a summer camp customized for them. Watching so many afflicted yet resillient children caught up in the noises, gestures and other anomalies manifested by the disease was not helping me wind down prior to bedtime. The one thing that made me feel better was that I didn’t mind that any of these people existed in the same world with me, but frequently in my life I have been accused of being an inconvenience just by existing, and I don’t have over-tanned skin, Tourette’s or a need for intervention.
  
  I kept the program on to see if anybody would explain the reasons behind the human condition. ABC and the other networks never dig into that. They should.
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- Scroom!!!
  
  Posted at 12:11 am by kayewer, on May 17, 2009
  You won’t find the title of this post in a dictionary, but when life is handing you nothing but a stale room reeking of fresh intestinal gas, or when the human beings around you are acting more like neanderthals, when you’re ready to throw in the towel or let off a little steam, it’s the word for you.
  
  Take a moment and say it slowly.
  
  Has it gotten to you yet? Yes? Good! No? Well then, what must you do to install lightbulbs?
  
  Now that we’re clear, I’d like to encourage people to adapt this simple phrase and apply it liberally whenever necessary. When other countries pick on us because we don’t do things the same way as they? Scroom! When you leave a voice message and don’t get a callback? Scroom! When your friends think your new pair of shoes are, like, so yesterday? Scroom!
  
  Really, how much value do we put on the wrong things, like other people’s opinions? If you’re doing the best with what you have and somebody else doesn’t like it, the heck with them. You did your part, and it’s now their problem.
  
  Jot down “scroom” on a sticky note and keep it with you. Stick it on your computer monitor, or print it on a shirt. If you’re not doing anything illegal or immoral, and somebody else has a problem with it, don’t give in: just think to yourself, “Scroom!”
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- The Letdown of May
  
  Posted at 11:42 pm by kayewer, on May 9, 2009
  May is a bummer. This May in particular has not started out well. My last college class was the previous Monday, but I still had the burden of a final paper which I had to plough through this past week; on top of that, I had a half dozen new work projects, my two writer’s group projects, weekly and monthly reports (and one of them was somebody else’s) and I found out that I had to try to work in a request for time off to match my doctor’s shrinking schedule which is already booked through July.
  
  Many of the television series I either watch or tape decided not to save their season ending episodes for May sweeps, and ended them the week before. The movies on cable are second-rate yawn inducing time wasters. Now that I’ve sat through four of the past five Saturdays at the opera, and the season is ending tonight (fittingly, with the final ever performance of the current interpretation of Gotterdammerung), entertainment has become a drag.
  
  Add the week of intense rain we’ve had, and May is coming in like a rhino and is likely to go out like a sloth.
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  Eden on A Good Rabbit Hole
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  Eden on And Her Shoes Were #9

	Eden on A Good Rabbit Hole
	Eden on Free Secretary
	Eden on Getting the Message
	Eden on The Unasked Questions
	Eden on And Her Shoes Were #9

Author Archives: kayewer

Posted at 12:28 am by kayewer, on July 19, 2009

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Posted at 11:41 pm by kayewer, on July 11, 2009

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Posted at 11:33 pm by kayewer, on July 4, 2009

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Posted at 11:34 pm by kayewer, on June 27, 2009

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Posted at 11:07 pm by kayewer, on June 20, 2009

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Posted at 10:21 pm by kayewer, on June 13, 2009

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Posted at 12:21 am by kayewer, on May 31, 2009

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Posted at 11:53 pm by kayewer, on May 23, 2009

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Posted at 12:11 am by kayewer, on May 17, 2009

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Posted at 11:42 pm by kayewer, on May 9, 2009

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