Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Author Archives: kayewer

    • Another Look at Presidents to Be (Part One)

      Posted at 3:06 am by kayewer, on December 11, 2011

      I’ll make this short, not just to avoid being boring but to avoid any of the hassles that might follow my choice of topic.

      When you look at what religion each of our presidents has affiliated, we haven’t had much of a mixture.  George Washington was an Episcopalian, and Barack Obama is considered Christian but of no particular church affiliation after the congregation he had visited for a long time had some issues.  So we’ve come full circle in terms of racial profile by having a Black president, and in terms of religion we’ve had some “no comment” presidents who did not practice anything, and even a renowned Catholic president (JFK).  Are we ready for the possibility of having a Mormon in the White House?

      Mitt Romney belongs to a faith that stresses family and community service, and even the concept of “one for all” taxes (Mormons traditionally pay a tithe to the church).  There are some things that might need clarification for the uninitiated, such as the big question of why some practitioners in some sects have multiple wives, or why they have the Book of Mormon (the real text, not the musical).  The fact that he is still running indicates that he is still a possible candidate.

      It’s good to keep the mind open, and we will continue to see how the whole candidate dissection plays out in the weeks to come.

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    • The Phantom of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Music

      Posted at 3:34 am by kayewer, on December 4, 2011

      Folks who like musicals will tell you that the best ones have songs you can hum or sing long after the show is over.  Well, ever since I saw “Phantom of the Opera” in New York a few weeks ago, I’m humming tunes, all right.  All the time.

      If you’re familiar with the show, as well as other shows written by Andrew Lloyd Webber, most of the dialogue is sung using his special leitmotifs (in this case musically rendered with Andrew Hart’s lyrics)  which permeate the production.  By the end of the performance, some of the lines from the romantic song  “All I Ask of You” have become interspersed with those from the incomparable “Music of the Night.”  They’re easy to sing along with (and get confused about), because they do mesh so well.

      Some of the action taking place between musical numbers include sung exchanges among the principles.  If life could be sung, this is how it would sound.  It’s enjoyable, and worth remembering.  To a point.  Now my head is filled with a mindworm soundtrack as hypnotic as the Phantom’s seductive methods.

      The other day, somebody at work offered to go on a coffee run; a co-worker put in her request for hazelnut coffee.  Suddenly my brain was turning the request into a rewrite of one of the main exchange music I had heard in the show:

      Hazelnut!
      She doesn’t want plain.
      She wants hazelnut!
      She’s being picky.
      He’ll never go for coffee again.

      Sure it’s fun to parody songs.  It’s been done for ages.  It’s strange, though, when “Music of the Night” suddenly becomes “Traffic on the Bridge:”

      Flatbeds, semis
      clogging up the freeway.
      Fast cars speeding
      Giving me no leeway.
      Angry and forlorn
      I’m afraid to honk my horn
      People in a hurry won’t give in a smidge.
      I’m stuck in here, the traffic on the bridge.

      Maybe it’s because I was involved in November’s National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), and my write brain got caught up in the musical and, as a result, I have temporary insanity.  Doesn’t matter.  At least I’m enjoying what I’m singing.

       

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged mindworms, Phantom of the Opera
    • The Gossip Fence

      Posted at 2:53 am by kayewer, on November 27, 2011

      In the past week, I’ve been privy to more chatter about other people than I have all year.  Being the week of a holiday, it’s a prime time for social situations and the inevitable cluster of rumor spouting blabbermouths looking for a sense of what is right or wrong about the human condition.

      Gossip is a strange human habit, and rarely beneficial.  It usually happens when people are in a situation in which they feel the need to talk about topics that disturb them.  Even if somebody brings a piece of good news about somebody else to the conversation, the tide soon turns to observations of character foibles and other negative things about folks who are not even present to provide a defense or justification.

      I have been the subject of gossip, I’m sure.  Who hasn’t?  Our vulnerability to gossip starts when we get put into diapers and sometimes doesn’t end, even past the grave.  Usually the gossip begins when somebody makes an observation, and the others nod in agreement, even when they don’t agree.  The idea of gossip is to unite everybody present against those not present, by airing dirty laundry and speculation that seems to be designed to equalize some sort of societal playing field.  Our best athletes, actors and other public figures are the highest form of gossip fodder; the rest of humanity simply doesn’t get into the magazines or television.

      Human errors, and our struggles to adapt and grow in a world which alters the rules of life as fast as we can keep up (and faster), outnumber the successes, as William Shakespeare similarly noted in Mark Antony’s speech in Julius Caesar.  We tend to bury good people, having taken advantage of their moments of goodness and only remembered the times they didn’t meet our expectations.

      One person with whom I was discussing some human missteps by an absent third party, pointed out that sometimes it is better to talk with the topical person about such observations than discuss them behind their backs.  On a day like this past Thanksgiving, how could some people’s lives change if somebody would point out to Uncle Ted to his face that his tee-totaling family is disturbed by his annual alcoholic binge after the turkey dinner (especially when he staggers around and wrecks at least one table setting every year)?  Or if some unthinking person asks the others nearby if it is okay to take the incoming call causing their cell phone to blast its ringtone, and everybody responds, “let it go to voice,” wouldn’t we be on the path to greater kindness and truth and the chance for true change?  We often complain when we gossip, but the way to resolve complaints is to take it to the source of the problem, not confine it to the circle of nodding heads.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged gossip
    • Theatre Woes

      Posted at 3:17 am by kayewer, on November 20, 2011

      Why are movie theatres becoming auditorium versions of our own cable dominated living rooms?

      Yesterday I went to see Breaking Dawn Part 1, the first half of the split Twilight fourth book movie adaptation (don’t worry:  no spoilers herein).  The movie was fifteen minutes late in starting:  the rest of the time was taken up by an onslaught of features that amounted to nothing.

      First we were subjected to cinematic-centralized programming that was designed to hold the interest of patrons who arrived early for good seats.  The portion I saw was a behind-the-scenes look into an upcoming movie, the title of which eludes me.  A quick segment mentioned the latest stuff available on eBay.  I don’t shop on eBay, so I busied myself with the theatre’s free literature, which I wisely picked up before entering the coliseum that is the latest movie house layout.

      After the usual warnings to leave our stockpile of toted-in devices turned off for the feature, an advertisement for Coke and a polar bear saving campaign came next, even though a blurb assured us that our feature presentation would begin momentarily (it turned out to be a very long moment).  Since I do indulge in Coke products, I’ll probably save a polar bear now that I know about the program.  Score one for the marketers.

      Next came the fire department mandated blurb about how to locate exits in the theatre.  Each is marked with a red “Exit” sign, and we learned where to find three of them, one by one.

      Next came some quick logo time for the people who bring high-definition theatre experiences into our lives.  One was called Cinedigm, which is apparently a digital camera system company.  I don’t know why we need to know that, but at least the name stuck with me.

      As to the ten or so (maybe 20) movie trailers, none of them caught my eye except for, maybe, the new Muppets movie (who couldn’t like them?)  Sure, call me strange, but I didn’t feel compelled to see any of the other movies plugged while I was held captive in my seat.  There was sci-fi and adventure and horror, all rated for “appropriate audiences” by the ever-vigilant MPAA.  By the way, the color of the screen on any MPAA rated trailer means the content has been planned and edited for the viewing audience.  If you’re a curious movie fan, you can find more at  http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/09/the-color-of-the-background-preceding-movie-trailers-actually-means-something/, so nothing was shown that would freak out Twilight fans or their parents.  Unfortunately they also didn’t impress anybody.

      Maybe I was bound to have issues about this movie-going experience because, having read the Twilight books, I knew, in terms of the film’s content, what I was going to see.  I didn’t know how complicated it would be just to get to the point where I would actually see the 117 minute movie.

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      Posted in Commentary, Theatre/Movies/Entertainment | 0 Comments | Tagged breaking dawn part 1, movie previews, trailers, twilight
    • Holiday Saving Time?

      Posted at 3:13 am by kayewer, on November 13, 2011

      On the first Sunday in November (which used to be the last Sunday in October), the country went back to standard time, one hour earlier than we had observed it for the past seven months.  It appears we also added an extra month to the holiday shopping season.

      Sure, some places like Hallmark start putting ornaments on display in July to lure desirous collectors and send shivers down the trunks of nascent fir trees in forests everywhere.  Christmas in July offers us that early taste of the winter experience at a time when the summer sun is toasting us.  Somebody apparently felt that we needed more than the usual allotment, and the media and malls happily obliged.  They erect banners with festive words like “Joy” and “Merry” scrolled on gilt with blue or red and green.  Seasonal stores spring up, like Hickory Farms and Brookstone.  Fake snow fills store windows.  On television the commercials are already touting holiday sales.  In Pennsylvania Lottery ads, snow is a foot deep and scratch-and-win tickets have gone elf and snowman themed.

      The malls already have Santa Claus on duty, for goodness sake.  Sure it gives men jobs in a troubled economy, and they stay warm all day in that velour and fur, but the poor fellow I saw at the mall the other day evoked pity.  My friend and I were almost ready to drop our facades of adulthood and help him out of his funk by discussing whether he could listen to our lists.

      Other than the poor folks who man merchandise carts in the middle of the walkways (and they get to walk away and leave “Back at 8:30” cards on their seats), Santa was hurting for business.  The gilt throne where the jolly old elf would normally sit and field want lists from scores of little ones was vacant, and he was standing at the entrance to the magical world erected around the carefully placed queue ropes, simply and interminably waiting.  There were kids in the mall, because Friday was a day off from school, but nobody had their list ready for the man in the red suit in the early days of November.

      Then there was the music.  Make no mistake:  I’m a music lover, but there is something about holiday music that gets very old very fast, and if it’s starting to assault us right after October, imagine the damage it will have done before we even pop the turkey in the oven for Thanksgiving.

      Let’s face it:  the old standards are so entrenched in our musical culture that every song artist in the world and their old maid aunts sing them, re-do them annually, and we simply nod our heads resignedly and prepare for the onslaught.  Once the songs start up, it’s a plodding race to December 26 when every shopping facility with a sound system throws their collection of holiday tunes in a box and unceremoniously locks it away until next year.

      I prefer to choose my tortures.

      Last week I had the misfortune of being trapped in a line at New York City’s well-traveled Port Authority bus station, waiting for one sure to be over-packed bus out of town.  The staff at the terminal has added a three-part safety message which plays on a loop at the escalators to heighten the senses of harried users, and which I can recite by rote in my sleep because I heard it about 10,000 times during my wait in the queue.  Sure I’m complaining about the holidays, but I would rather hear one bad Christmas song the rest of the season than that safety recording ever again in my life.  Just not this early.

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    • Key Bored

      Posted at 2:45 am by kayewer, on November 7, 2011

      Now that virtually everybody has been indoctrinated into the computer age, it appears we are dealing with a major problem:  the shrinking keyboard.  The smaller the keyboard, the harder it is to navigate.

      I don’t normally like to text while on public transportation, but the other day I was seated next to a fellow who had me pinned by my elbows while I was trying to type 1,700 words in a window seat with a keyboard the size of a candy bar.

      So why was I so frantically trying to text under such conditions?  I decided to sign up for the writing challenge of National Writing Month (NoNoWriMo for short), which tasks intrepid writers with producing 50,000 words in the month of November.  This requires about 1,700 words a day.  Unless I wanted to cheat and just freely type a bunch of words into the computer to get the required word count, some planning and time to create was required.  The time I had on this particular day, I found on public transportation.

      Which brings us back to the shrinking keyboards.  Even our best cell phones have teeny little keypads.  Some are QUERTY (typewriter style), while some simpler (and some might say dorkier) versions use the telephonic letters on the number pad to text.  Netbooks also have small keyboards, which is how the manufacturer gets the computer to be as small as a novel.  Which is what I’m trying to write.

      There is nothing more infuriating than trying to use human fingers on inhuman sized buttons.  The error rate is ridiculous, especially for folks like me who learned to type 65 words per minute in high school on a regular size keyboard.

      Touch pads and screens and thumbs don’t get along very well, either.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally hit a touch pad with a stray thumb that is just hanging on my hand waiting for a summons to use the space bar.  After considerable time spent on the road trying to defeat the restrictions imposed by my seat partner, my thumbs are now cramped and sore.  I don’t know if there are carpal tunnels in my thumbs, but they hurt as I’m typing this.

      I hear that there is voice recognition software out there.  Maybe that’s the answer to my situation.  Heck, I can speak 1,700 words into a mouthpiece and the folks around me will just think I’m on my cellphone (which I can’t text on).

       

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    • Whose Facebook Is It, Anyway?

      Posted at 12:16 am by kayewer, on October 30, 2011

      Facebook is a strange place.  Some people have elaborate pages and countless friends.  Frankly, though, I’m not sure if all of the names on anybody’s list count, because some people become friends because another friend has “mutual friends,” whatever that means.  It’s that old “I know somebody who knows somebody from somewhere” syndrome.

      Other folks use Facebook and keep the door open for old friends to connect with them, but sometimes folks are hard to find.  My high school class had 220 students, but I wonder sometimes if 75 percent of them moved out of the country, since they can’t be found for school reunions and none of them apparently use Facebook.

      When I started my Facebook page, I wondered who I would find, and there have been some pleasant surprises.  Whether a Facebook user gets ten or ten thousand friends, it’s always good to connect with somebody new or find somebody who got lost in the shuffle of life.

      Sure, a few folks out there abuse Facebook, like recently when a post regarding some students at a local high school made some uncalled for, cruel remarks.  The post was removed, of course, but it’s a shame that something which should be used to cause positive things in our lives can be ruined by one or two people who should think twice before hitting that button.

      I don’t know if I’ll continue to use Facebook, but I’m onboard for now and glad I’ve tried it.  It’s a great way to learn from, and about, each other.  Let’s hope it remains a positive outlet.

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    • Off the Hook

      Posted at 3:04 am by kayewer, on October 23, 2011

      Sometimes people have hobbies just because they like them, no matter how they perform at them.  If you ever knew somebody who played lousy golf or burned their way through the best-selling cookbook, they are folks who have those kinds of hobbies.  I’m one, too.

      I like to crochet, but I’m not very good at it.

      Back in my younger years, I did manage to produce a tote bag, a white Easter bunny and a hat.  They are the only things I was able to make to size and that I could use.  I tried knitting, but it’s much less forgiving (ask anybody who has dropped a stitch, but wait until the headache medicine has kicked in).  At least with crocheting, when you make a mistake, you can reverse the work by undoing all the stitches and try again.  Once in a while I have to go back two rows to fix a mistake, but at least it can be done.

      Crocheting anything to size depends on gauge (pronounced “gayj”), in which you are usually instructed to do a test square using the yarn and stitches in the instructions; once you have completed a square, you must count the stitches per inch and make sure they match the guidelines in your pattern.  If your square is too small or large, you should use a larger or smaller crochet hook to fix the problem.  This means that if your stitches are chronically off, you must have a complete set of hooks to make sure you have one which will produce the desired result.

      My problem is that I am often using a large hook to begin with, so if I have to go up a size with my hook, I sometimes have to give up on the project unless I want to invent a bigger hook by carving it out of redwood with a chainsaw.

      So I usually stick with things like throws and afghans.  Sure the patterns call for gauge, but who is going to measure the number of stitches in an inch when they’re freezing cold and just want something to warm them up?

      Besides, afghans don’t tend to rely on complicated stitches–with names  like the double-loopy-half-twist popcorn stitch–which involve directions similar to square dance calls.  If you can master one stitch and repeat it in a row 60 or 70 times for about five hours, you’ve got a completed project.

      That’s how you nip some of these frustrating hobbies in the skein.

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      Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged crochet, guage
    • What Dancing Judges Do

      Posted at 2:27 am by kayewer, on October 16, 2011

      Frankly I’m tired of hearing people boo Dancing With the Stars judge Len Goodman.  Yes I guess I am a fuddy-duddy for playing devil’s advocate, but he deserves a good defense, and by gum this Yank is going to give him one.

      Our world has become confusing enough when it comes to competitions of any kind.  If we listened to some sour grapers out there who condemn those who come in second place (the old “failure is not an option” gone wild philosophy), there would be no reason to engage in competitive sports.  Just pick a person, let them run it and win it, and the rest can go home.

      As far as I’m concerned, a race is something which, if you start it and finish it, you have won.  I feel just as good watching somebody limp across the tape dead last as for the first fit sprinter.  I’m sure I could no sooner do a marathon than dance a tango, but I do know that competitions have purpose and reason, and they also have rules.  Those who keep the closest to the rules usually wins.

      It is the judges who “keep the books” on rules.  If the rules were to change every time a little glitch comes up (like people who don’t come in first place or can’t do a samba roll), the original purpose of the activity is lost.  Mr. Goodman is on DWTS to scrutinize the dancers and watch for the elements which make up a particular dance.  Some dances require a constant contact (or hold); others, like waltzes, rely on rhythmic movements.  My favorite, the Paso Doble, has intense exaggerated poses.  The key to a good dance is how well each specific element is performed.

      Of course, for the show and the entertainment value, the producers allow the celebrities and their partners some leeway to “dress up” the dances.  In regular ballroom and Latin competitions, there are no props or set dressings like we see on the show; often Mr. Goodman comments on some of the extraneous setups  and it’s obvious he would rather see the couples get on with the matter at hand. It’s what he is used to.  Go on YouTube and watch any Pro-Am ballroom competition and you’ll see how serious the sport really is.  The competitors have seconds to recognize the music and get into hold and start dancing.  No rehearsal tapes provided.

      What bothers me is that anytime Len Goodman says something that is negative (and unfortunately, often true) about a routine, the audience goes into a lather and boos.  I’m sure a few of the booing audience members might well be ballroom dancers themselves and may disagree with the judges, but the man is doing his job and means well; it’s as much for the good of the professionals to hear his input than for the celebrity who is trying to look like a pro fresh out of ballroom kindergarten.

      In fact, I’m sure the pros put their lives on hold to train the celebrities, and not working with an experienced partner is akin to going off one’s diet, making it harder to get back on track.  I’ve seen pros like Tony Dovolani take top prizes in “real” ballroom competitions, so Len’s advice can’t hurt his continued success.

      I also admire Carrie Ann Inaba and Bruno Tonioli, who also have jobs to do as choreography judges, but I notice that they don’t get the boo volume of Len.  It’s time to look at the trio for what they are there to do and be nicer to contest judges.  Let’s also take the time to tango.

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      Posted in Theatre/Movies/Entertainment | 0 Comments | Tagged ABC, Dancing With the Stars, DWTS, Len Goodman
    • The Boss’ Pocket?

      Posted at 2:46 am by kayewer, on October 9, 2011

      A band of activists is on tour to focus the nation’s attention on corporate greed.  Michael Douglas had a character in the film Wall Street who said that greed was good, and certainly corporate America is not without its band of rich executives.  Corporate America is also filled with underappreciated executives.

      I can’t help but laugh at the fact that Douglas’ character was named Gecko, while Geico has a computer generated gecko–one of its most successful and recognizable icons–who doesn’t need to be paid at all.

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