Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Author Archives: kayewer

    • The Helium Conspiracy

      Posted at 3:09 am by kayewer, on July 24, 2016

      Did you know about the helium shortage? If you blow up balloons for any reason, you’re probably aware that the stuff which causes balloons to float is at a premium these days. If not, unless you’re a welder, a silicon wafer manufacturer or run an MRI machine, you might not have known about it. Helium is used for all these purposes.

      The government stores helium in Texas, and recently prices increased dramatically.  The government’s reservoir seems in danger of failing to produce enough in the next few years, and we are responsible for three-quarters of the world’s supply. The leading helium tank manufacturer found in most party supply stores–Balloon Time–has actually added a label to some tanks indicating that some of the gas in the tank is air (with only 80% helium). That means your balloons may not float as long as before.

      So now we have another government hurdle to clear.  Let’s challenge our candidates and offer to vote for the one who does something about the helium issue. That will put some starch in their shirts (or blouses, depending on whom you are addressing).

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    • Wanted: Eight-Armed Handyman

      Posted at 2:08 am by kayewer, on July 17, 2016

      Some time ago I had the awesome experience of changing a faucet aerator by myself. The act saved me the expense of having a paid professional step over my threshold for $75.00. Now suddenly, I can’t get this aerator off.  It must be stuck on either because of calcium buildup, or I have the wrong tool, or maybe it’s really lefty tighty righty loosey.

      So I was reading a depressing piece in New York magazine about all the horrors of where our food comes from, and one blurb mentioned that, before you consume octopus as a delicacy, you should remember that they are smart enough to unscrew jar lids by themselves to retrieve a treat hidden inside the jar.  I have witnessed this fascinating act in videos. You know where to go to see I’m right.

      Anybody have an octopus for hire?

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    • Kondo-Monium

      Posted at 1:36 am by kayewer, on July 10, 2016

      If you’re one of the legions of people who watch reality shows about hoarders, you might have strong feelings about Marie Kondo, the guru of empty garages, the queen of clean who puts the “ohm” into organization, and the warrior of putting waste in its place. You may think she should visit every hoarder on earth, or you may think a little mess is okay.

      I haven’t tried the methods in her books yet, but I realized I had started practicing one of them recently without thinking about it.  The bulk created by long sleeve sweaters and tops makes putting them away for the summer difficult, but I had started folding the sleeves down instead of over, and it decreased the bulk considerably. It’s interesting to at least watch her videos on the website (http://tidyingup.com). Ladies, if you collect underwear and find yourself with a cluttered drawer full of drawers, watch and learn and gain room for another binge at that popular pink undies place.

      Our attachment to stuff is chronic and a problem when you consider how much room our planet has. The whales don’t need our clutter, and aliens might make destructive use of it if we were to send it into space, so we need to re-purpose what we have and not drown ourselves in stuff we don’t need. I’m planning to get the book and take a look into what it takes to organize and remove clutter. Who knows; if somebody comes out with a show about minimalist lifestyles, I might be on the premiere episode.

       

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    • Witnessing Craft

      Posted at 1:51 am by kayewer, on July 3, 2016

      Pleasant surprises come in all forms. I had the pleasure of watching a product being custom made for me, and though it’s been done before over the years, it was a breath of fresh air to see an art like this taken to a new level without losing its style.

      I didn’t give the Flexy store in the mall much attention when it first appeared. Custom embroidering and printing for apparel and accessories has not been part of the usual mall experience lately. The first time I got anything printed on a shirt was when I was still in elementary school, and that was at a mom-and-pop store in the then still thriving downtown shopping district. In my teen years, the malls had tee shirt shops, but usually the printing was blob shapes in Cooper font. Not very original. This store, however, has digital technology, enabling an immense selection of custom options in both vinyl transfer and embroidery.

      So what took me inside? First, somebody was already in there buying something, giving me time to look and learn. Second, I had just officially named my writers group and thought I’d look into getting the name on a shirt. The man ahead of me got a front and back custom shirt with lettering and logos, and the price was reasonable.  I watched as the experienced associate behind the counter set up a huge sheet of vinyl in a specially designed machine, and the elements of the design were transferred by computer and etched into the sheet. With a custom tool rivaled only by those in a dermatologist’s office, the associate peeled away the selvage, leaving perfectly etched elements on a sticky sheet ready to center on the shirt. No sliding peel-away paper and little risk of error. In less than twenty seconds, the shirt was printed on both sides, and the Associate folded it into a neat package that would have impressed decluttering expert Marie Kondo, slipped it into a bag and the happy customer was on his way.

      My experience was just as pleasant, as we looked through images for the shirt and figured out how to place the elements and in what colors (anything from bright neon green to basic navy). While I watched my creation come to life, a line formed and he had four new customers. The place has popularity, and the right mix of new and retro to make the tee wearing public take notice.

      Not only was the buying experience a positive one, but the customer service was above expectations. The associate treated me like I mattered, he didn’t rush, and he kept his work space tidy. More mall store employees could learn from him.

      So I have a one-of-a-kind shirt. For now. Wait until I tell my friends.

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

      associate peeled away the waste, leaving perfectly cut letters

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    • Just Check the Box

      Posted at 3:03 am by kayewer, on June 26, 2016

      With all the forms we have in this world, you would think one or two of them would be complete and perfect in every way, but there is always something missing. I wonder what Britons would have done if the ballot on this past week’s vote to leave the European Union contained an option marked “I Don’t Care Either Way?”

      Recently I made a doctor appointment which required me to get lab work done. The nurse mailed me the form, which contained a laundry list of coded items with the important ones checked off. I dutifully went to the lab ready to gush the red fount of medical knowledge into a tube for the happy technicians who need a few of the things each day to stay employed. The first question the technician asked was, “Did you fast this morning?”

      For the past several tests, I fasted and was told I didn’t have to.  I struck out this time.  Yet the form, for all its neat columns of numbers and abbreviations, didn’t have one marked “Fasting Required” for the patient’s enlightenment.

      Then, of course, the patient doesn’t need to know anything on the form, do they? Just stroll like an obedient sheep into the holding pen and let the nice phlebotomist prod away (except if you had to fast first).

      So many things can be done on tablets or other computers, but paper forms remain such a part of society that we have taken for granted the notion that they cannot ever be made better. We settle for what is out there, and a lot of it is shoddy. It isn’t always a matter of automating the paperwork, but of simplifying it. If any one human being has to do all umpteen tests available on one form, they would probably need hospitalization. Just do one for this, one for that, and a miscellaneous one for the others; automate the first two and leave the third on paper, where the print will be larger and there will be room for that missing check box.

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    • Let the Summer Commence

      Posted at 2:27 am by kayewer, on June 19, 2016

      Yesterday my high school held commencement, also known as graduation. The ceremony itself doesn’t change very much: the rituals, the speeches, the accolades, all follow a tradition carried on, essentially, because that was how it was done last year.

      The seasons follow a pattern, but graduation should not.

      Every year brings some new faces, perspectives and human drama which should be recognized at commencement. It isn’t just about the valedictorian, a keynote speaker or ill-fitting gowns in two colors. Graduation is about real human stories. No two people in the graduating class of 2016 went through the same experience. The yearbooks never tell their stories. I’m sure that if one were to go back into two decades of yearbooks, they would look exactly the same but for the faces.

      Do schools still do yearbooks?

      So the class graduated, and school is over until September. Over the summer friendships will change, beaches will fill with bodies, and in August relocations to college towns will be arranged. It’s a transition as old as modern civilization.

      Of course, a few unfortunates will be attending summer school (if they still do that).

      We’re in the middle of the longest days of the year, and soon they will grow shorter as autumn comes. The next class of senior students will start the annual ritual of something they now call “Project Graduation.” What’s up with that? Is it truly a project? When I finished high school, it was a matter of gathering all your required credits and making sure you turned in your school activity issued supplies. For me that was a band uniform. No problem.

      Public schools still let out by June because most of the buildings are too old to require air conditioning under governmental grandfathering policies. School should really be a year-round thing, just as life and work are. Sure, there are breaks (I figure a week in June and July and the last week of August should do it), but learning and retention do tend to fry off in the summer heat while kids are tanning their bodies at the beach and sunburning their heads.

      When I graduated, I went home and my parents and I sat on the front steps, enjoying the cool evening. The next day, I started a job. There was no Project Graduation or lawn signs of congratulations. Life continues into summer, after summer, after summer.

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    • Privacy: Left Alone

      Posted at 12:04 am by kayewer, on June 12, 2016

      When I first started life in the workforce, if somebody called in sick, a person hired by the company would visit your home and follow up with you. I heard a story in which the designated person popped into the shower to talk with said worker while bathing. Back then, if you called out sick, you had better darned well be sick. Companies did not pay you for self-imposed vacation days. You needed a doctor’s note, or you at least had to appear to be in the later stages of recovery when you got back.

      Today, a company has to abide by certain government imposed healthcare rules regarding sick time. You are expected to look after your health, and your company works with you to a point to stay that way or get back into shape if you have a minor setback. No home visits to check up on you, though.

      In the case you just stop coming in, companies allow so many days and then they send you a terse termination letter.

      Sure, the at home follow up may have been a bit extreme, but it probably did save companies from paying shirkers while the rest of the employee base made up for it. Still, would you want nobody to check to see if you’re okay if you suddenly failed to show up at work?

      A woman in Pontiac, Michigan, got into her car one day and suddenly died with her key half in the ignition. That wouldn’t be so unusual, except that nothing happened after that.  The woman was known to travel extensively and, therefore, was a loner who kept to herself. She had arranged for her bills to be paid electronically through her bank account. A neighbor kept the lawn mowed, and the house was never disturbed. After payments stopped going through for her auto loan and the house was foreclosed, a man was sent to fix a hole in the roof and that was when they found her body, some six years later.

      Of course this is an extreme case, because in 2011 a woman named Rebecca Wells, 51, was found in her cubicle a day after she died, so it took less than 24 hours to notice that the woman who was described as “always working” had given her life to the rat race.

      What happens in the case of people who are hiding spousal or date abuse? Companies still send out termination letters after so many days, but nobody seems to follow up to see if the person is really okay.  Sometimes these people are whisked out of state by their abusers, or they have to go into hiding to prevent further tragedy, but we really are losing touch with each other today. Nobody should just vanish and not be noticed. We need to change some of these policies to prevent such events. Nobody should lie dead for years or hours and not be missed. All lives matter.

       

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    • Dress and Dressing

      Posted at 2:12 am by kayewer, on June 5, 2016

      The Acme was selling sundresses. There was a rack of them between the greeting cards and the baked goods, in sizes small through extra large. I didn’t buy one because none of the prints flattered me, and I don’t think clothes should be sold in a grocery store. I have seen similar fare in the Walgreen’s. Wouldn’t buy one there, either.

      Call me old-fashioned, but I like to go to a retailer with a clothing department. I like the racks, the colors, the designers sorted nicely into sections and sales tags almost always in full display. I shoot for thirty percent off or more, and I always check each item in my size before selecting one, just to make sure a print is properly aligned or the seams finished.

      Sure, clothes are not much more than nudity blockers, but today we have such a variety of ways to do that.  At least women do; men are stuck with pants and shirts forever (and with no way to carry much more than a wallet and keys).

      In the summer, men get to toss the shirts, which is probably why we women have a better selection to make up for our loss of upper body freedom.

      Whoever decided that clothing should appear in drug stores or grocers must have thought it was the holiday season, when stores stock anything they think will be bought by desperate consumers shopping in vain for the perfect gift and finally giving in to lowering their standards. Those sundresses were like that: strange prints, little tailoring (one seam and two strings at the shoulders) and a one-use price tag. I walked away.

      Unfortunately the clothing store didn’t have anything I liked when I went there earlier this week. That still won’t send me desperately running to the Acme for a sundress. I’ll wait until later this season, when the last collections come out and the tags are forty percent less. And I’ll check much more carefully for pattern matches.

      And the seams, it seems, make the clothes worthy of one store or the other.

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    • Long Road to Load

      Posted at 12:55 am by kayewer, on May 29, 2016

      We live in a world of nearly instantaneous gratification, so when my computer started loading much slower than usual, I was slightly concerned. Make that crestfallen. Make that ticked off. Okay, a range of emotions went through my head.  Not my lifeline to the digital world, and not now with a three-day weekend coming up. It’s bad enough when somebody takes your computer from you, but another when it quits by itself.

      Now I have to figure out what the bleep is wrong with it, besides the fact that it’s over three years old. I keep it clean, both in terms of surface and hard drive. I avoid viruses by having good software installed. Maybe it’s just one component, like the video graphics or an outdated hidden feature I don’t know about. But why does other stuff work okay? Maybe it’s just one website that is causing the trouble. So in times like this, we turn to the local computer technician for help, and I’m taking it there for diagnosis and treatment. Maybe its time has ended, and I need a new computer. Nothing lasts like it used to, especially electronics. The days of taking the old television to the repair shop are gone. Now people toss them on the curb.

      The thought of buying a new computer makes me cringe. There are too many choices, too many prices and too much hassle involved. Apple fans would love for me to come over to the dark side for over a grand, and Windows fans argue the finer points of good old Windows 8 against the latest Windows 10. And who knows what happened to Windows 9.

      Maybe I need to go back to the good old typewriter. A qwerty keyboard, a ribbon and a bottle of correction fluid. No printer needed.

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    • Coin Artists

      Posted at 2:49 am by kayewer, on May 22, 2016

      TD Bank just announced that it is discontinuing their Penny Arcade automated coin counter machines after a lawsuit and NBC investigation shut them down a few weeks ago. You can bring in coins you have rolled yourself, but mechanical counting, the bank says, has lost its popularity, and they want to ensure accuracy for all bank customers.

      How the heck did coins become such a burden?

      To this day I am holding onto a Euro coin which nobody wants to exchange for me. I got it in change at a supermarket in place of a quarter, and I know it’s worth more than that. I refuse to give it up, and I’m determined to find somebody who will give me fair market value for it. Foreign currency exchanges won’t even touch it: I went to three in New York City and got the polite brush-off.

      A friend of mine is not above going to the mall food court and counting out coins in place of paper money. It does involve waiting while she separates and tallies up the denominations, but they spend just the same. Also, coins bulging in your handbag add quite a bit of weight. I should know: if I didn’t dump out my quarters and pennies once a week, I’d be carrying around the weight of a toddler on my shoulder.

      It used to be fun to go to the coin machine and have it spin your metal money around in a centrifuge like way. The Penny Arcade was a sort of interactive experience featuring a red-headed computer generated little girl who talked you through the process of getting paper for your coins. “Wow, you sure saved a lot of coins,” she says as she directs you to her friend the teller and reminds you to check the reject slot for any duds.

      It seems whatever magical force counted the coins registered more duds than they returned to the reject slot: the NBC experiment allegedly put $300 in coins in one Penny Arcade and it counted short by some $44.00. TD’s non-bank competitor, Coinstar, was found to be accurate, but you surrender 11 cents for every dollar you put in unless you elect to receive an e-gift card in place of cash.

      TD is still offering to give out coin sleeves so you can count your coins yourself, but I long for the days when coins were as valuable to a bank as paper.

      Here’s what I think: TD should replace the Penny Arcades with coin counting stations, complete with sleeves, sorters and hand sanitizer (coins do make your hands smell metallic). Somebody has to give respect to coinage, and it could redeem some of the damage done by this mechanical mayhem.

      Either that, or round everything up and abolish coins altogether.

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      Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged Penny Arcade, TD Bank
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