Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Author Archives: kayewer

    • Super Duper Market

      Posted at 3:14 am by kayewer, on October 9, 2016

      We have plenty of markets in our area, yet not enough in the right places. Another one near me is shutting down, which means its location has been home to at least three department stores (including Clover), a Super Fresh and now a Thriftway.

      So much for a recovering economy.

      I found out by accident, because I had been on the way to get a hoagie, which their deli made fresh daily. I saw a chalkboard sign out front: “Store Closing: 50% Off.” Inside, the deli and bakery had already shut down, and the strains of old 50s and 60s music were warbling sadly to empty shelves and few patrons.

      This means the nearest place for me to get fresh radishes is about 12 miles away, my favorite margarine is no longer to be found anywhere, and the shopping center is again going to be like a doughnut with a side eaten away. One leg of the two-sided center has two stores open on its right and three open on its left. A tanning salon closed recently, and a JoAnn Fabrics, Game Stop and a party store moved away over the past three years. We still have one Acme nearby, but one must endure the highways to get to ShopRite, Wegman’s or WalMart.

      If the improvement of our neighborhoods means no neighborhood markets, it will be a truly lifeless environment. I’ll miss that store.

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    • Gosh Dung It

      Posted at 1:54 am by kayewer, on October 2, 2016

      This morning I saw a program segment featuring dung beetles. It immediately reminded me of the typical office environment. Of course, in the office we don’t carry up to 250 times our own weight in dung, though psychologically it may feel like that at times. The guide for the clip, along with the voice of trusted zoo expert Jack Hanna, told us that dung beetles roll their own round spheres of dung from a pile of poop, then roll it to their destination. They appear to do this with their hind legs, backwards, head down.

      If you’ve gone through a work day like that, you can relate.

      The beetles will usually follow a straight line, even through obstacles. That’s like an office action plan.

      By burying the dung, the soil gets fertilized. A dung beetle couple will mate and have their young inside the dung. I just made a poem, and a bell has rung.

      Sorry, it was just getting kind of silly.

      After a particularly busy week, I was running around like a headless chicken preparing to go out, when the wildlife program came on just after the morning news, to tell us about dung beetles. Thinking about it, they have a purpose to fulfill, like the typical office worker. We roll along with a singular purpose, and it does some good.

      So be proud, even if you are a dung beetle.

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    • My Candy Crush Saga

      Posted at 2:10 am by kayewer, on September 25, 2016

      When I was in elementary school, I won a candy counting contest. Back then, it was a big deal, but it also holds bittersweet memories for me. Especially now, because I just did it again.

      The school had a display case with a large jug inside holding a variety of small wrapped sugary delights, and we were invited to estimate how many were in the jar for a chance to win it. I wasn’t much of a candy person growing up, which made Easter and Christmas more about presents than risks to my dental health. Also, I was the prize winner of most deserving to be bullied, not only by my peers, but by the faculty as well. In first grade my teacher grumbled at my mother because she allowed me to read ahead in my textbooks, making me a non-conformist. I also had the handicap of being a victim of New Math, but at the time that didn’t matter. I was still optimistic and decided I had an equal chance to win as anybody. I looked at the jar carefully, counted, estimated and wrote a number down, putting my guess in the pool with my fellow students.

      Sometime later at our assembly for the oldest students, our student council president announced that he would read the winners of the contest. Before the first place winner was announced, he did something unexpected. He said that audience members were to conduct themselves properly and not boo.

      That was how I knew I had won, seconds before my name was announced.

      That was nearly 40 years ago, but sometimes I still hear his voice in my head, announcing that I was the winner, “And remember, no boos.” I don’t fault him for what happened: I know the faculty had put him up to it. They were trying hard not to hurt me. It still did.

      This past week our company held what we call our “town meeting,” in which our senior officers reach out in person and by video to review our status and focus for the coming year. On the way into the meeting the staff had arranged a few fun games, including a candy counting contest. I mentioned that I had won a similar contest in elementary school as I looked at the jar carefully, counted, estimated and wrote a number down, again adding my guess to the others.

      The first time, I was two away from the correct number of candies. This time I was spot on. They were as amazed as I. Unlike last time, I got congratulations. That felt much better.

      I still have the original candy jug. Now it has company.

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    • The Hidden News

      Posted at 1:38 am by kayewer, on September 18, 2016

      My local newspapers have been playing a frustrating game of “Hide the Comics.” One paper has been hiding them behind the classifieds. Unfortunately they are not labelled “Wanted: Comics Section.” The other puts them in the sports section. Maybe I should be happy, since they appear to consider comics and puzzles sports.

      Every day I read nearly all the comics (never touch “Doonesbury” for some reason). Then I look for “Dear Abby,” which has also been hiding lately. Then I tackle the Sudoku, cryptograms and the occasional crossword. The challenge is to figure out where, among four sections of articles, advertisements and statistical scoreboards full of manly mind-numbing trivia, the lighter stuff can be found.

      And let’s face it: with all the political and world turmoil, we all need some light stuff.

      Sure it’s a bit nerdy, I guess, to enjoy the old standards like the adventures of Blondie and Charlie Brown and Beetle Bailey, along with the modern antics of Curtis and Heart. But after hours of the world’s negativity, relaxation seems to come at a premium these days. Finding a few minutes to engage the brain in something else is hard to do. Many nights I get home with fried grey matter and the ooze of corporate drudgery pouring from my sweat glands, but I still manage to get in my comics.

      Once I find them.

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    • Knee Pain

      Posted at 2:51 am by kayewer, on September 11, 2016

      Our National Anthem is not a protest song. Nobody sings, “Oh say, can you see, someone taking a knee?” Why do people do the right kind of protests at the most God-awful wrong times? It’s like throwing mud in somebody’s face while people sing “Happy Birthday” to them; the problem still exists and now whomever you’re supposed to be celebrating has mud on their face.

      Lately some noted sports figures, like football players Colin Kaepernick and Eric Reid, and soccer star Megan Rapinoe, have determined that sitting down or going down on one knee symbolizes a problem in need of fixing. I have not seen any of them speaking up or actually putting a pro-active plan in action. When I had a problem needing a fix, I wrote down the arguments in favor of a suggestion for change and took it to the right people to have it done.

      Let me brag about one of my works. The first time I attended a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the long-defunct Cherry Hill Cinema, the copy of the film was poor. The places where splices had been made were so well-known, the cast members under the screen and the patrons incorporated them into the audience participation. I put together a petition asking for a new copy of the movie, got the cast and every audience member in line to sign it, and presented it to the theater’s staff.  We got a fresh copy.

      That’s how you get results. Get on your knees once you have submitted your ideas for change, and pray for a positive outcome if you are a praying person. Don’t turn the expression of loyalty for the country that sent thousands of lives into premature graves for your freedom to speak into a display of disrespect or contempt.

      Our country is not perfect, but show that you appreciate how far we have come to get there.

       

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    • Choppy Channel Surf

      Posted at 1:37 am by kayewer, on September 4, 2016

      If you’re of a certain age, you probably remember TV Guide when it was digest sized and provided full descriptions of the programming on your television. Of course, back then we only had about eight stations. Today we have so many stations, the television guide magazines are the size of weekly installments of War and Peace just to hold onto half the information we used to get. Too many channels, not enough information about them.

      Back in the good old days around these parts, we knew NBC was Channel 3, ABC was Channel 6 and CBS was Channel 10. If you wanted syndicated programs or needed to park your child in front of the cartoons, you went to the UHF channels. Whatever you chose, the famous TV Guide had complete descriptions like this:

      (6) The Blah Show (Color: 60 mins.) – Jane watches potatoes boil, while
      Stan finds Billy’s toy truck stuck in his lawn mower. Lydia Dull,
      Bruce Boring, Elisa Exciting (guest star).

      Now the channels are laid out in a grid, and you’re lucky to get two words of descriptive text. Sometimes you may even get the actors’ names.

      Today I was scanning my magazine when I saw that TCM was featuring Alfred Hitchcock movies all day. Happily I tuned in, expecting to see Rear Window, but there was the great black-and-white classic Stagecoach instead. I like John Wayne, but he is no James Stewart. So how did the listing get it wrong? I don’t know. I checked the daily paper and it was correct in there, making me question the value of my guide.

      Also, not every channel gets listed; there are too many of them to warrant a complete guide blow by blow every week. The subscription costs would bankrupt us. I could wear out my remote going up the dial channel by channel. There might be a great network out there I will never get to know because I don’t know what programs they have.

      So use the onscreen programming grid your cable company provides, you say. Really, how many of the first five minutes of a program have you missed trying to find what you’re going to watch? 400 channels? We’re talking forty minutes of surfing, and by then you’re halfway through the show (not counting commercials).

      The next option is to get a voice remote. I had a bad experience with voice activated software once; I wanted to write a piece about women truckers, and when I spoke into the microphone, the results that came up onscreen I won’t print here.

      So I didn’t get to watch Hitchcock, I have a useless television directory, hundreds of channels and nothing on. And the fall season is two weeks away. Sigh.

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    • Four Wheel Strive

      Posted at 1:38 am by kayewer, on August 28, 2016

      I think it’s never too late to apologize to somebody, so here I will issue (again) an apology to my friend who will know who she is when she reads this. I say again because I was called out on my blunder when it first happened. While hunting through the newspaper today I was reminded of that blunder and knew I should bring it up again so I can reapply egg to my face.

      Here is what happened. Several of us were meeting outside the old Moorestown Public Library, back in the days when the building was accepted as a cozy but slightly outdated part of the scenery in an exclusive community. The parking lot had poor lighting and the building next door had burned down. It was winter, at night, bleak and cold and dreadful. Still, we decided to carpool it down the road a way to the Starbucks. She offered to drive me over in her vehicle.

      It was impressive from where I stood in the parking lot but, not knowing much about any model without something immediately distinctive about it (like a Chrysler PT Cruiser or a Pontiac Aztek), I took my best guess looking at it from the side, and figured it looked like a Jeep Grand Cherokee. I knew Jeep distinguished its higher end models that way, and they were larger than the average back-woods sand dune models. Today those Grand Cherokees run in the $40,000 range, so for me at the time, that was notable. “Nice Jeep,” I said.

      Turns out it was a Cadillac Escalade. Those models today, I saw in the paper, cost $80,000.  Oops!  That’s like calling a yacht a dinghy. No wonder she scrunched her eyebrows as if 500 people had stood together in the parking lot and passed gas.

      Anyway, she made it a point to be gracious and show me what such a vehicle is all about. The inside was like the cabin of a luxury yacht. The dashboard was a command center. With one touch, she could properly acclimate the cabin so the drive felt like we were in a cozy living room fireplace on wheels. No car I have ever owned warmed my butt for me. The car had bells and whistles on a high class level. I was happy at the time because I had a CD player in my car (not anything like a Cadillac).

      Anyway, so I’m a woman who knows too little about cars to look at one from the side and know what I’m seeing. Sorry.

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    • Represent Well

      Posted at 2:06 am by kayewer, on August 21, 2016

      I noticed that during the game show “Family Feud,” host Steve Harvey shakes hands with the losing family and, if they are African American, he tends to say to them in an under-voice, “You did good; you represented well.” Shortly after I came to this realization, I saw a Satanist in the news and realized that we should all be thinking about representing well.

      Showing one’s good side can be an individual, group, gender or larger societal thing, so Mr. Harvey could tell any family they represented well; they represented something well to get on the show, after all. Lately, however, overall we seem to have lost our sense of decorum. Children have less respect for adults, driving can be a tail-them-and-flip-the-bird nightmare if somebody misbehaves in the fast lane, we clobber each other for the latest bit of expensive junk and create whole hierarchies over that same junk (Apple wars, anybody?) So I watched a “bad guy” do something I’ve never witnessed before, and when it was over I was left scratching my head.

      David Suhor appeared in a Pensacola city council meeting on July 14 to give the morning invocation, as have religious groups of various types in the past. In this case, he appeared representing the Satanic Temple in the West Florida area. There was a short meeting on July 7 about discussing prayer at the council meetings, allowing Suhor to give that week’s invocation, and possibly stopping the practice of prayer in general, which you can read about here from the local CW TV network news feed online:

      http://wkrg.com/2016/07/07/the-satanic-temple-of-west-florida-will-deliver-invocation/

      And here is some feedback on how the ultimate event came about in the Washington Post:

      https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/07/20/why-a-satanic-temple-member-wants-to-perform-rituals-before-a-city-council-in-the-bible-belt/

      Without a quorum, no action either way was taken on July 7, so on July 14 a man dressed in what I will call the type of basic Satanic uniform–a hooded robe–one might expect to see, prepared to speak and was immediately drowned out by a large Christian presence invoking the Lord’s Prayer. The major concern at both meetings was that this man speaking at all would cause evil havoc to manifest itself. The council chair had the most disruptive people taken out of the courtroom.

      The religious front was standing for the Almighty, and I’m certainly on that side of the fence, but as I watched the clip I wondered who was really the most polite of the two factions. The Christian supporters shouted and showed very little bonhomie, even given the opportunity to show the way to the good side by example. Suhor calmly told the council that he could wait until things quieted down. After an agreement was reached to have the room be quiet while he got the matter over with, Suhor sang. Having just seen the touchingly poignant and fun film Florence Foster Jenkins about the famous off-key singing sensation of the early 20th Century, I’m glad the fellow had decent pipes. His song mentioned the fruit of forbidden knowledge and anarchic principles and ended as expected with “Hail, Satan!” Then it was over.

      The world has spun a few times since then, and Pensacola is as it was.

      I don’t know how I feel about the dark side representing well when the good side seemed a bit frustrated, but I know that we are still on polar opposition when it comes to the presence of evil among us. It will probably continue into ages well past our own. That doesn’t mean we can’t all work a bit harder to be polite and represent humanity itself well.

       

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    • Friends or Phelps

      Posted at 3:10 am by kayewer, on August 14, 2016

      You know you’re good friends with somebody when they can ask you to blow off your usual evening mall hop together so she can watch the Olympics, and you say it’s fine.

      My best friend of over 25 years usually goes to the mall with me, but the other day she called me and said she really wanted to watch Michael Phelps win more gold medals in swimming. We humans are set upon doing certain things, liking certain celebrities, harboring certain rituals. The mall will be there next week (though Macy’s may not be, judging by their decision to close 100 of them), but the Olympics only happen for two weeks every four years, and watching big events like swimming on demand is impossible to enjoy with the same fervor, because you will likely have accidentally found out the results beforehand. I understand completely.

      The summer games are not really my thing, though I will watch gymnastics or synchronized swimming if they are on at a good hour.  The networks of NBC have events on all of their main and spinoff channels, but won’t be more specific about when certain events are going to happen, so I feel content to watch the news later on, or read the paper the next day, to find out what happened.

      Mostly we–meaning the United States–seem to be staying at the top of the leader board, and we have some seasoned competitors like Michael Phelps who can really rack up the gold medals and hold the attention of swim fans worldwide. He won the evening my friend watched, but did lose an event later on. Hey, it can be that way, just like getting a bargain blouse at the mall but missing out on that purse that caught your eye.

      Next week there will be a lot of track and field events, which neither of us likes, so the two of us will do what we do best: Olympic-style mall walking.

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    • That’s Interesting

      Posted at 1:27 am by kayewer, on August 7, 2016

      School will be starting soon, and I think that we could solve many of the problems which can arise from intolerance and bullying if we could all teach our kids of all ages to use two simple words:  “That’s interesting.” Instead of ignoring or picking apart something new, as well as the person who introduced it to you, those two words can open a door to a better understanding of the world around us.

      Especially for pre-k and kindergarten, when children will be exposed for the first time to the various fish in the entire cultural net, the discomfort of a new environment, and the sudden demands of a structured schedule imposed by an adult they don’t even know, the experience can be complicated by all the new lifestyles surrounding them.  When overwhelmed with so many unknowns, a child has to start sorting and disposing, and sometimes that leads to saying things that can lead to bad first impressions and the formation of mismatched cliques and pecking orders which might be difficult to readjust later. If a child can simply say, “That’s interesting,” it leaves room for discussion.

      We have all seen the results of our social divisions and prejudices, so why not stop them as soon as we can? Take a few minutes to tell your youngsters to try saying those words when they come across somebody who seems different, and see what happens.  Children will like to talk about themselves, and they will learn from each other what makes our whole world interesting, while they take their front row seats to the future.

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