kayewer

Author Archives: kayewer
- Mind the Mind
  
  Posted at 2:47 am by kayewer, on January 5, 2020
  My mother called me “kid” this morning, and though it may seem jocular, it has a sinister meaning in her side of our family. One of my great grandparents referred to my mother as “the kid” in a not-so-nice way. Back then, kids were not treated as kindly, either.
  
  Of course my mother was not herself when she said this to me. It’s all part of being elderly and on changing medications, and of having bad mornings when things don’t seem right in one’s head upon awakening. When you’re a senior and have decades of mental files in a brain which is not as good at keeping them filed and orderly, some of the strangest memories turn up at unusual times. A complete song came to her mind later this morning; one I had not heard before. Same person, different hour of the day.
  
  Of all the things we wonder about and study, the mind is still a huge mystery. Why somebody goes on a rampage and kills, or shuts down and loses touch with life, are still mysteries, and not only for older adults. The brain is more complex than any computer, and more vulnerable than we care to admit. This is why many people don’t understand voluntary chemical dependency on cigarettes or substances (vaping, drugs, alcohol). Nobody would wake up saying, “I think I’ll start a habit which will create a burden on my life,” but it happens every day. And it stays, and torments, and destroys.
  
  I realize that we thrive on rewards, regardless of how they may be obtained. Rewards come from reactions within the brain which compel us to find the same feelings again. With problems such as substance abuse or gambling, rewards become a chronic obsession. It may be a sick thrill to know that somebody is going to be hurt because you arranged for it to happen, but it’s the reward that matters, not how it is obtained. That may be the key to any kind of adult abuse of children. It needs to be studied and addressed.
  
  As for the elderly and the tendency to come up with random thoughts during mental spring cleaning, I passed off the “kid” reference, but I hope that by the time I am at an age with the mind supposedly “starts to go,” I will be able to read the results of a study and know why, and be able to do something about it.
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- Teen Years Over Part II
  
  Posted at 2:45 am by kayewer, on December 29, 2019
  2016 through 2019 were interesting, so let’s take a look back and carry on from last week.
  
  First, do snot rockets still matter in 2019? They certainly did in April 2016, when I posted about a trip to the car wash in which an attendant shot a honker on the pavement. The following week, Prince passed away, and I had a runny nose because I was crying rivers. Still do anytime one of his songs comes on. Old music icons die after an honorable career, but younger music babies leave so much undone.
  
  October 2016 saw a look inside the customer mind of Mr. Pompous, somebody who had a complaint, but didn’t want to specify what it was or elaborate on what he really wanted, opting instead to stand on a soapbox and rattle on about nothing. I had his kid brother this past week, on Christmas Eve of all days. I’m sure the pair are related. Fortunately, this fellow had a complaint, and when we mentioned that we went over the details with him when he chose the thing he complained about, he suggested we were calling him stupid. Unless we can encrypt defamatory language inbetween the lines of our replies, that did not happen. We reached an impasse when we closed the conversation due to his reactions, though he got one last comment in: “It’s not over until I say it’s over.” And out.
  
  I went on multiple food runs for the office, fielded conversations which only vaguely resembled English, visited New York and found things to comment upon every time, and tried my best to field life through a sieve of reason to make it work better. It worked sometimes. The past two years have been a blur, possibly because of the politics, the uprisings, climate change, money issues and the stress of driving to and from work for two hours every day.
  
  My favorite parts of the past decade? Petting cats and talking stupid language to dogs. Watching shows that won’t change my life. Collecting DVDs to watch–unless the technology changes again–in my retirement. Learning how to needle felt. Crocheting like crazy and making what now amounts to 28 afghans.
  
  Whatever comes around in 2020 and beyond, the simple things make the complicated ones easier to stomach. Happy New Year and Decade, everybody.
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  Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged 2010s, 2019, year in review
- Teen Years Over
  
  Posted at 2:45 am by kayewer, on December 22, 2019
  2019 marks the end of the “twenty-teens.” Many people review their lives by decades, so I decided to put together a look back at 2000 through 2019.
  
  In January 2010 the hot topic was HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) and its effects on health. The obesity epidemic is still with us, but some manufacturers note on food packaging that they have no HFCS.
  
  October 2010 I posted about bullying. Having been a victim of extreme bullying, the topic is close to my heart. Fortunately I have lived to see something being done about it, but with every child or teen suicide, or high school shooting threat or event, I die a little.
  
  In March 2011 I received my BA diploma from University of Pennsylvania in the mail. It may not have increased my salary. In some ways, I still feel people’s resentment of my education. I don’t brag about it, but a copy is on my cubicle wall at work, in case somebody tries to call me a dumb blonde.
  
  August 2011 featured a post about scrapple. A co-worker vilified scrapple. It’s amazing how people will be so quick to judge, but slow to learn.
  
  Over a few years, the saga of the lemon tree I grew at work took up a post or two. Unfortunately it died of unspecified causes. Surviving family includes several violets and a rather anorexic philodendron.
  
  Also a big topic over the decade is NaNoWriMo. I’m still working on it, and like my novel, it’s possibly doomed to forever be a work in progress.
  
  In July 2014 I injured myself tripping in the kitchen. Seems like yesterday, just like any injury I have ever had. The bruising did go away after about ten days, but I’m always cautious about that spot, hoping to avoid a repeat.
  
  In January 2015 I put out a request to see if somebody could help me find the young men in a photo taken on Guam in 1985. It’s a big world, but we’re such a microcosm of it, I got no responses. I have the same luck with ancestors on my mother’s side of the family.
  
  May 2015 is where I will end this segment. A neighbor brought some roses over for my mother and me. They were well-kept by the home’s new occupant on behalf of the original owner, a woman whom I miss dearly because I never had the chance to say goodbye to her; she died while I endured Navy boot camp in 1980.
  
  We take the moments in time for granted too much. As I look back on these posts, I realize my history is filled with meaning. Next week brings a brief look at 2015 onward, and a few favorite moments before we bring on 2020.
  
  Thank you for staying with me on this journey.
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- Containment
  
  Posted at 6:47 pm by kayewer, on December 15, 2019
  A five ounce paper kitchen cup holds exactly five ounces, when filled to its brim. I know, because I checked it myself with my handy kitchen measuring cup. This means that your average trip to the sink to pull a one-time-use cup will result in your obtaining about four ounces, because no sane person would fill the cup to the top and try to hoist it without risking any spillage.
  
  But then, I’m probably not a sane person for checking the measurement of a paper cup,
  
  We assign measurements to everything, then complain about how they actually work in the real world. For example, snacks such as potato chips note that the contents settle in the bag. Have the manufacturers thought about making a smaller package? Probably not, as people would complain about the shrinkage.
  
  We’re okay with preventing spillage, but not shrinkage. Smaller packages are better for the environment, however. The containers we take for granted end up in landfills and ocean floors, but possibly an ideal world would enable us to send packaging back to its origin and used again. In the days of glass bottles, they could be recycled, and activistors (actors who champion causes) such as Jason Mamoa work hard to bring options such as aluminum canned water into play.
  
  Meanwhile, I put that paper cup back in its place on the kitchen counter to use again. It will last a while there, being waxed. I also started using a kit with reusable utensils, which in the past month has kept about 90 plastic forks and spoons out of the trash. It’s small, but I think it helps.
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  Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged canned water, Jason Mamoa, recycling containers, recycling plastics
- The Perfect Gift
  
  Posted at 1:30 am by kayewer, on December 9, 2019
  Gift shopping is hard, and the holiday season is just an example of how difficult it is to find something for people to whom you want to show appreciation. Kids are easy: they ask Santa for specifics, and it gets under the tree. Adults, though, have problems. We buy for ourselves all year, so Christmas is usually more of the same.
  
  There are two camps at gifting season: those who need everything and those who need nothing. Some people decide not to gift on the holidays, choosing instead to do other things like help at soup kitchens, and equal numbers of those needing everything or nothing make up this group. Some folks still wind up getting stuff they don’t need. I thank everybody who has given me candles and shower gel, but I’m set for about two years now on both, thank you.
  
  The folks at Peloton did a commercial in which a woman got just what she wanted, and folks are suggesting the ad condones “fit shaming.” If somebody wants an exercise bike, what’s wrong with that?
  
  Of course, all the commercialism and online hoopla gets stranger each year. Instead of stressing out the folks at Amazon and making your pets fat via Chewy, maybe we need more personal gift ideas. A day in the park, a crafting class, a visit to the zoo, may be better than any white elephant trinket under $20.
  
  Have you seen a friend who might be missing a kitchen towel, a full cupboard or a pair of batteries for the smoke detectors? Empty fridges need filling, so empty bellies will be satisfied.
  
  Gift cards don’t hurt, but a ride to use them is also a good idea.
  
  I can’t give away what I’m doing for gifts, but I hope everybody I know shall be content this holiday, and I hope some of these suggestions help as well.
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  Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged christmas, holiday shopping, Peloton
- Rogers That
  
  Posted at 3:02 am by kayewer, on December 1, 2019
  Fred Rogers was one of a kind, but Tom Hanks made a darned good go of it when I went to see A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. I was in the mood for a light movie without all the serial franchise routines and predictable action stunts and CGI. What I got was an eye-opening look at an enigmatic but insightful children’s television host from an outsider point of view.
  
  I was drawn in from moment one.
  
  The film starts with the familiar notes of the title song from the beloved show, and suddenly Hanks is smiling and going dress casual in his living room as if time had never moved on since the real Rogers’ death in 2003. Suddenly, though, the story takes an interesting turn, and our neighborly host becomes a benevolent Dr. Phil on chill pills, showing the young (or young at heart) viewers a picture of an injured Lloyd Vogel (Matthew Rhys), who tried to resolve years of anger and resentment aimed at his father. The pair had recently duked it out during a family wedding reception, explaining the cut on Lloyd’s nose. Mister Rogers says Lloyd is our example of the topic for the day’s episode, which is forgiveness.
  
  Along the way, we meet Lloyd’s wife and baby, and when his magazine editor asks him to interview Rogers for a piece on heroes, their lives intertwine as the line between interviewer and interviewee blur. Lloyd represses his feelings, and Fred’s are an open book, albeit one with some pain in it as well (he makes a fleeting reference to his sons, who both had issues with their father’s status as a television star).
  
  It’s the human factor in the way Rogers always treated viewers that would bring out ways in which we can validate our own feelings and better ourselves. It’s hard not to reflect on our own feelings when somebody like Fred Rogers says that it’s okay to have bad emotions. Sitting through this movie was, in many ways, a therapy session, and we saw Rogers swimming laps to be in tune with his own thoughts and problems. Along the way, Lloyd begins to change, and he accepts Rogers’ mentoring.
  
  Some scenes reminded us that we were watching a movie about somebody who used pretend to deal with reality: the scenery outside of the well-known neighborhood was a mock-up of cardboard cities, and even a funeral setting a la’ Beetlejuice (but without Michael Keaton’s trademark obnoxious humor). There is an uncomfortable moment when Fred brings out his puppets from a suitcase and tries to get Lloyd to open up, and some humor in the Neighborhood of Make Believe redirect the viewer to the real life situation happening in Lloyd’s life which must be addressed.
  
  I feel as if I saw a new episode of the show, and yet it was still a movie that I could appreciate and learn from. My blood pressure went down, that’s for sure. This is a movie with a message we shouldn’t ignore in our daily lives. We are all special, we can do things to make life better, and it’s okay to be broken.
  
  It’s such a good feeling.
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  Posted in Commentary, Theatre/Movies/Entertainment | 0 Comments | Tagged A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Fred Rogers, Mister Rogers, Tom Junod
- Akhnaten-mpressed
  
  Posted at 12:53 am by kayewer, on November 25, 2019
  I just saw Akhnaten at the Metropolitan Opera in New York yesterday. From an opera fan’s standpoint, it was what an opera is supposed to be, but I can’t say whether it was spectacular or not because I haven’t figured out what it truly was.
  
  Don’t misunderstand me: everybody involved with the performance of the production was top-notch. I was particularly impressed by Anthony Roth Costanzo, the countertenor singing the title role of the monotheistic Egyptian ruler. The best part for me was his singular labelable (if such a term may be coined) aria, the “Hymn to the Sun,” in which he praises the sun god Aten. It’s the one sung piece in which the audience could truly identify his character.
  
  Oh, and since our performance of this production was being transmitted live to theatres worldwide, the initial appearance of the new ruler of Egypt, originally scheduled to be totally nude, was done with a carefully placed cloth over the three potentially offensive body parts. I did worry that one bad shimmy or sneeze would set social media buzzing, but it didn’t happen. Every moment Mr. Costanzo was onstage, he held our interest, and was awesome all by himself.
  
  The other roles seem to be a collective secondary grouping, including wife Queen Nefertiti (J’Nai Bridges) and mother Queen Tye (Dísella Lárusdóttir), along with the rebellious priests and populace, whose wardrobes seemed a mix of New Orleans pomp for the religious advisors and repressed laborer rags for the others.
  
  Oh, and there were jugglers. A troupe is part of the entire production, tossing balls with great skill, and it certainly was entertaining. The balls probably symbolize change, responsibility or the flux of power or something, but that would take more research to be sure. Any performer who dropped a ball (and it’s inevitable to happen more than once) embraced their role in the proceedings by paying homage on their knees to the sun god for the error: this is why, in a scene, one performer in a circle of jugglers was down while the others carried on as if nothing were out of the ordinary. I read about that in the program during intermission and passed the word on to my seat partners, getting to an “ah” moment. We finally got it, or something from it.
  
  The Playbill® was full of information, and was much needed, since the popular titles the Met provides at each seat only labeled the scenes and gave a brief description, except for an English read-along for the above-mentioned aria. The production changes the language to suit the place of performance, but is sung otherwise in the Egyptian tongue, as well as a few others, when the characters were not harmonizing in long passages.
  
  That’s the issue with a Philip Glass opera: it’s unique in that the passages are repetitious, the music only varied in discreet ways which only the knowledgeable or attentive would parse, and the performance was interpreted with minimal interactive dialogue.
  
  And everything about the opera was slow, as if somebody set a 33 rpm record to 25. The characters moved at a snail’s pace onstage. Expressions were stretched out to last a minute, as if telling us that something prolonged was happening. In the end, Akhnaten died, but I’m not sure how, since he wasn’t assaulted physically, and searching for more information about him (the real ruler, I mean) leaves more questions than answers. Genetic proof points to King Tutankhamen being the son of Akhenaten, and of course he ultimately took over the throne, put everything back to the way it was with multi-god worshipping, and everybody tried to forget the 17 years of Akhenaten’s reign ever happened.
  
  I won’t forget I saw this production, but if I go to another Philip Glass production, I’ll look for a “dummies” book to read up beforehand.
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  Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged Akhnaten, Anthony Roth Costanzo, Met Opera
- Don’t Chicken Out
  
  Posted at 6:39 pm by kayewer, on November 17, 2019
  It’s a chicken sandwich to die for. The Popeye’s restaurant chain introduced a popular chicken sandwich, and it was a hot enough item among their fans to sell out once this year, and caused chaos this fall upon its comeback.
  
  So what is the big deal about this sandwich? The brioche bun? The breading? The pickles? It’s probably all of these and more. Popeye’s likely won’t give away its secrets, but when it comes to analyzing food, a great example may well be the Doritos tortilla chip. The design team at Frito-Lay company worked this single snack item to perfection, with a formula designed to make eating the product a total sensory experience. Such grades as “mouth feel” come into play, as well as eliminating bad breath traces after devouring the whole bag. Not only does food have to taste good, but feel good as well.
  
  Marketing is a form of catering to our basic need for feeling good. How a chip feels in your mouth is one component; add to that the gadgets and clothing and toys we thrive on, and every new product is met with British Invasion insanity. We line up for event tickets and squish each other at department store doors on Black Friday. We don’t normally question this ides, but enjoy the rush like the first puff of tobacco.
  
  Apparently the chicken sandwich was so important, it drew lines of patrons. In Rutherford, NJ, lines of cars at the drive-through blocked traffic. Fights have been reported. In Maryland, one man wheedled his way up the queue and met up with somebody who did not like others cutting in line. The disgruntled patron taught the line cutter a lesson by stabbing and killing him. Over a chicken sandwich.
  
  In reality, not getting that hot item won’t kill you, but apparently obtaining it might turn deadly. I won’t go to Popeye’s for that reason. Besides, how does one brag about something you eat now and poop later? You don’t even get to allow it to take up space on your shelf or coffee table.
  
  It’s a chicken sandwich, for crying out loud.
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  Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged Popeye chicken sandwich
- Pass Off
  
  Posted at 7:28 pm by kayewer, on November 10, 2019
  It’s always somebody else’s job. That was a message reinforced for me the other day when I had the duty of ordering all day catered brunch for the office for a Saturday. First, the place I was ordering from could not take the order directly. That’s right: I called the place, and the manager told me he could not take the order directly. I had to go online to do it.
  
  So I went to their official website. Take the business directly to the merchant, right? One thing Amazon has not taken over (at least not at the moment I’m posting this). I went through the whole process of selecting the food, the payment information, delivery time, special instructions (hold the gravy), and hit the order button. No delivery available at the time selected, the message said.
  
  Being a support specialist and able to think outside the restrictions of online programming, I selected a half dozen other delivery times, only to be shot down every time. Nothing to do but call the place back. The manager asked if I had tried a certain independent delivery site, assuring me that when their own site doesn’t work, the other has always been reliable.
  
  This would probably not happen if this were Japan. One would be a bit sheepish to admit that going someplace else would be a better way to achieve success. It does appear to be more the norm for Americans these days. The latest commercials from Chewy.com suggest that you should not have to haul around bags of pet food; let the website take care of your pet shopping for you. Of course, they don’t say that somebody else has to get the bags of pet food down from a warehouse shelf, then ship it to you (requiring hauling by the postal service), or that you still need to do the hauling at home (or have the kids do it). The idea is to divvy up components of life to have more hands fulfilling what used to be an internal team job. Human Resources departments are becoming externally resourced, which is a bit disturbing: imagine a resource that is so many miles away from you, it is too remote to be truly human.
  
  However, the site for the catering did work, and when the time came for the indies to start working for the restaurant, they bugged me half a dozen times to let me know via text message that the order was okay, a delivery person had departed the place with the order, and they were at the door of the office to deliver the order.
  
  The thing was, I wasn’t at the office on Saturday, so I didn’t even eat the food. I guess I let somebody enjoy it for me.
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  Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged catering online, chewy.com, outsourcing
- One Day, One Vacation
  
  Posted at 3:05 am by kayewer, on November 3, 2019
  Birthdays come only once a year, and this is a big one for me, so I’m taking time off to do some crafting, some writing, some sleeping and some celebrating with close friends and family. When the frolic is over I’ll be back, probably around Sunday 11/10 with shared moments from the big day.
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  Eden on A Good Rabbit Hole
  Eden on Free Secretary
  Eden on Getting the Message
  Eden on The Unasked Questions
  Eden on And Her Shoes Were #9

	Eden on A Good Rabbit Hole
	Eden on Free Secretary
	Eden on Getting the Message
	Eden on The Unasked Questions
	Eden on And Her Shoes Were #9

Author Archives: kayewer

Posted at 2:47 am by kayewer, on January 5, 2020

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Posted at 2:45 am by kayewer, on December 29, 2019

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Posted at 2:45 am by kayewer, on December 22, 2019

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Posted at 6:47 pm by kayewer, on December 15, 2019

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Posted at 1:30 am by kayewer, on December 9, 2019

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Posted at 3:02 am by kayewer, on December 1, 2019

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Posted at 12:53 am by kayewer, on November 25, 2019

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Posted at 6:39 pm by kayewer, on November 17, 2019

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Posted at 7:28 pm by kayewer, on November 10, 2019

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Posted at 3:05 am by kayewer, on November 3, 2019

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