Susan's Scribblings the Blog

Author Archives: kayewer

• Seat of My Plants

  Posted at 5:04 pm by kayewer, on July 1, 2023

  I had one half of the front of my home landscaped this past week. The pros did a fantastic job, and it looks much better than it has for years.

  My family has lived in the house for decades, and back in the early days we didn’t have much greenery in front, but the biggest plant was an out-of-control azalea bush. It eventually died and was dug out. My parents decided to replace it and line the front with ferns. The idea came from a few perennial varieties which grew happily and stayed green year-round on both sides of the steps leading to the front door. If those would last, why wouldn’t others?

  The variety they chose, unfortunately, grew like kudzu over the walkway, and by September they reached over three feet high and choked any semblance of order to our front. One positive thing is that the front was nearly always green.

  In the fall, the yellowed remains of the ferns would be ripped out and trimmed down with a weeder, but the network of roots beneath the soil was unbreakable, so pruning or thinning out was out of the question. The ferns became a nebulous, unwanted squatter.

  Until this past spring, when I gave the okay for landscapers to tear up everything and install new plants. They took out the ferns and dug down deep to pull the entire carpet of roots. The old clusters of perennial ferns remained on my orders. My attachment to them was too strong, and they brought joy to the front yard.

  This week, the crew came and added the new plants. I also found that I have a responsibility to water them daily for two weeks to establish their hold in the soil and keep the warranty valid. This morning, I set out to start watering, but I found that my new hose came with an attachment which doesn’t do anything gently, such as lightly sprinkling new shoots. This meant I had to go out for some accessories. I came out of the mega store (you know the one) with a hand sprayer and an extended wand.

  I’ve never used a wand before when doing anything in the yard, so it will be interesting to see how it works. For the next fourteen days, I will take on the role of the little old lady tending her garden early in the morning. It will be worth it for the plants to take hold and enjoy the rest of the season before going dormant in preparation for a resurgence in the spring of 2024.

  Plant ahead to plan ahead, I always say.

  Next year I may do the other half of the front. It contains the last of those squatter ferns and a crazy japonica with tendrils that project in fifty directions at once, but lovely flowers (in the local school district colors) and greenery come with them. By then, it may be time for the past to go with them.

  I’ll keep you posted.

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• Like They Used To

  Posted at 4:39 pm by kayewer, on June 24, 2023

  Back in the “good old days,” manufacturing was a complex chore. The televisions in the early days held wires, fuses and boards of welded circuitry, encased in wood and molded metal, and they weighed as much as an adult. The repairman (I’m not being sexist here; women didn’t commonly take on such jobs, though many did do such tasks while men were serving in WWII) would dismantle the device in your home, lay out the parts on a tarp, diagnose the problem and replace the worn out pieces.

  Today, televisions are flat, light and contain microchips which can’t be replaced, so we throw them away.

  Why does modern technology have such a wasteful price tag?

  This came to mind because the Titan submersible, which was destined to tour the wreckage of its namesake, the doomed Titanic (which has lain on the ocean floor disintegrating since it sank on its maiden voyage in 1912), seems much more tragic due to its apparent cause of failure. The vessel did not withstand the pressure of the ocean and suffered a “catastrophic” implosion which claimed five lives, including a father and son.

  We are supposedly building better things, not cheaper. If a vessel needs metal hulls of a certain weight and thickness, so be it. If making televisions with replaceable parts which will keep many out of landfills, isn’t that a better way to do things? Some of us still have grandparents with console televisions in their homes. Those products lasted decades compared to the year or two of service we manage today.

  The volume of junk we are discarding due to item failure, our boredom or a lack of recycling alternatives is catching up to us. We need to call attention to the elephant in the room, which is the amount of stuff being dumped into our oceans to “make it go away.” In those old days, things lasted for a long time, and waste was considerably less. The American average tonnage of municipal waste in 1960 was 88 million tons, compared to 292 million in 2018 (last figures available). Today, Americans discard an average of five pounds of trash per day.

  When the ultimate cost of bad production or cutting corners is human lives, we need to re-think how modernization may be failing us.

  My heart breaks for the families of those lost in this latest tragedy that didn’t need to happen.

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• Summer 2023 Random Thoughts

  Posted at 4:34 pm by kayewer, on June 17, 2023

  The summer has officially begun. Yesterday in my region, all the schools ended with graduations galore, which meant that today was a heavy traffic day, as countless families left home for their choice of vacation spots. This has been the first summer since 2020 that feels like normal again, so there is sure to be some craziness going around. Here are some observations from somebody who has experienced these madcap summers for a few decades.

  Everybody needs to relieve themselves, so when you’re in a new place and experiencing new things, this becomes an issue for you as the tourist and the people who live full-time where you’re vacationing. When you’re at the shore with Fido on a walk and come across homes with nicely manicured lawns, keep a poo retrieval device with you and don’t let your poopsie poop on that nice lawn; try the curb instead.

  Also, when you go to the beach, don’t pee in the ocean. Go before you leave your temporary lodging.

  Don’t feed the birds: it encourages them to be pests. Let seagulls eat what seagulls eat in the wild, not boardwalk food.

  The containers and other items used to hold or transport your food are your responsibility from the moment you purchase the food item until it is placed in a proper disposal area. This is an unspoken term and condition of buying food on the go, and nobody is going to make fun of you if you carry an empty paper plate for a hundred yards before finding a trash container. Believe me: I’ve never seen anybody get trash shamed. Don’t drop stuff on the ground; it encourages seagulls.

  Use sunscreen. Skin cancer is not something you want to endure. Leave being brown- or red-skinned to those whose heritage gives them the beauty of that privilege. Be your pale, wonderful self, but protected with SPF 30 or better.

  Cleaning up the beach or campground is indeed somebody else’s job, and that somebody else is you. If you’ve established good habits of cleaning up after yourselves at home, this shouldn’t be an issue elsewhere.

  If you raise an eyebrow when you see yourself in the mirror, the thoughts of other people around you if you go out that way will be much more embarrassing. Fix it before you tip out the door.

  I have never understood the social rules which say that the only acceptable hair on humans is on the head or eyebrows, and all other bodily hair is repulsive. Although it’s true that some folks out there–men in particular–may be wildly hirsute, unless you truly look as if the Michelin tire man was genetically crossed with a Yeti, and the result is decidedly inhuman, who among us can truly judge?

  Remember the sun damage rule of thumb and stay away from the risk of skin cancer by being extra cautious between 10:00 AM and 3:00 PM, when the sun does the most damage.

  Be careful drinking milk in hot weather, and don’t lock your knees when standing. This is a lesson I learned during military training. This helps you avoid passing out.

  Officials at the parks and beaches, such as lifeguards and rangers, have a ton of good advice for visitors. Stop and learn something from them and obey their instructions.

  Ice cream is tougher to eat slowly in humid weather. Avoid disaster and order a small.

  If somebody produces a way to avoid pizza drooping, you’ll save the world a lot of damaged clothing. Even John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever had to deal with a bit of floppy double-stacked goodness (I’m sure he ate them backwards to avoid the problem).

  Tipping at vacation resorts is always welcome, and often helps short-funded people stay healthy and well-fed in the off-season. Teenagers also get college fund money for sundries this way.

  If you check your car before leaving on vacation, you’ll save a ton of grief. A quick inspection at your dealership or car care center such as at AAA branches, can make sure your SUV won’t become SOL.

  Always pack one more pair of underwear than the length of your stay, and one less pair of shoes. Slip some adhesive bandages and diarrhea medication in with your makeup or toiletries.

  Remember those post-visit sheets from your physician? If you can, take a photo of the medication list and store it on your cell for emergencies. In the absence of that, if you use a mail-order pharmacy, try getting a list from there, or have your local one print your med list up for you.

  I could go on, but this is a good stopping point. I hope everybody has a safe and happy summer. It only lasts so long (around ninety days, as most radio stations and marathon-running networks will remind you), so make it last in your memory for all good reasons.

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• Sleepin’

  Posted at 5:17 pm by kayewer, on June 10, 2023

  When it was time to replace the old bedding at home, I decided to make some changes and selected a twin mattress for one bedroom, and a queen for the other. Naturally the new beds also came with complications I didn’t see coming.

  First, I had a choice of height for the twin mattress, so I picked a slightly higher one, which meant that the sheets I owned would not fit. I needed to shop for new ones, and this became more difficult than I would have imagined. The department stores available carried only a few select sheet sets in twin, and none seemed to have deeper sides on the fitted sheet to allow for tucking in. It took some looking before finding the perfect set, and it required ordering online.

  Fitted sheets are in themselves a problem. In the old days, the gathering was limited to the corners, so the sides could be tucked in flat under the mattress. Today, most fitted sheets seem destined to look and fold like rectangular shower caps, with elastic all around. Strangely, they don’t fit snug, and turning in one’s sleep produces bunching and wrinkling. So much for improving on a classic. Obtaining a good fit from a fitted sheet now requires a device such as sheet suspenders which can tighten the fabric from underneath.

  The queen bed was my best decision, as most stores carry queen sheets, and there was no need to pick a mattress height (at least it wasn’t offered to me).

  What I didn’t know was that there are many more mattress sizes than I imagined. Besides twin and full sizes and their XL versions (adding five inches to the length), queen mattresses come in varieties such as RV queen (for those who want most of their motorhome taken up with their sleeping quarters), and Olympic queen.

  Then we enter the realm of king-sized, with California king, Texas king, Wyoming king and Alaska King at 108 inches on each side. I assume that is the type of bed one would find at an old oil baron’s estate, and if sheets aren’t available at the stores in town, one could ask the seamstress to whip up a set on demand.

  I have gathered up all the old sheets and surrendered them to the animal shelter for use in potential adopted dogs’ and cats’ temporary lodging. I’m sure the linens will hold up for a long time, as they did for me. Time will tell if the new sheets for my new beds will pay for themselves.

  Or maybe the beds will give out first.

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• Restrictions Apply

  Posted at 5:04 pm by kayewer, on June 3, 2023

  Our town will be hosting a pride festival, so the other day I picked up a special tee shirt I had ordered, and a lawn sign to display in my yard. A few of the signs already on display in town have fallen to what has been attributed to teen pranks, but the neighborhood I live in may be quiet enough to not deal with such vandalism.

  It’s a wonderful thing for our country to finally admit, after almost two and half centuries (I believe we turn 247 this coming July 4), that not every human being is the same when it comes to lifestyle preferences. In ancient times, men portrayed women on the stage because women themselves were forbidden to act. Women wore pants in the Wild West without being considered too manly, and a man in a kilt in Scotland was not at all thought to be effeminate. Nobody can know for certain how any of our co-workers, or the person on the street, started their morning. Some grab a donut and coffee. Some grab a joint and a bottle. Others punch another crack in their spouse’s jawbone, and still others put in a little quick pleasure (man with woman, woman with woman, man with man) and then dress and go to work, possibly having showered afterward or without touching a bar of soap.

  In any particular household, the scenario at the breakfast table may be so different, a standard would not exist. One kitchen table may have mommy and daddy, or mommy and grandma, or dad and uncle. The child still boards the same bus as the other kids.

  We have been living in a stew pot of variety since the dawn of society, and not acknowledging it has not made it non-existent, so it’s about time we call everything out into the open and realize that giving voice to those who are not clones of a perceived norm is acceptable. Those in the LGBTQ community (and their add-ons) are still valuable citizens and important enough to live their lives in a lawful way, in privacy and without harassment.

  The pride fest will feature a variety of events to allow folks an opportunity to enjoy themselves, and I support that, which is why I purchased the swag.

  However, I won’t be joining them, and not for the reasons you might think.

  There is a commercial for a popular laundry detergent brand, featuring a woman named Alice. She likes how her detergent has a pleasant scent, and the voiceover indicates her wishes to have the same scent for her fabric softener and dryer beads. The next shot is of one of the stocker in the grocery aisle, holding up the product she has been dreaming of, and the voice says, “Say hello to your fairy godmother, Alice.” The fellow (definitely not a godmother) is a sallow and slightly overweight type one would normally see staring at a computer screen in a basement gamer environment, and he is dressed in an ill-fitting shirt and apron with a too-short necktie. The kind of person whom everybody glances at but nobody truly notices. One whom we would assume would spend eternity living with the parents. The bit is played for lighthearted fun, but in real life it’s not funny. I cringe every time the spot airs.

  Some people like the stocker have experienced “the look,” in which a person offers a cursory glance and then erases you from sight as if you are not permitted to exist. People who deal with “the look” regularly are steps away from the level of people who have no home or hope and are never looked at at all.

  I have known others on social media and off, who have similar issues. Of my closest circle of friends, only one is in a successful marriage, and the rest who may still be seeking a relationship seem doomed to only receive attention from men seeking citizenship or a substitute mother. None of the people in the excluded group I’m speaking of are anything but simple, vanilla, hetero individuals seeking the most basic rewards in life, which happen to involve sharing with another human being. The denial of this leads to isolation, depression, substance abuse and worse.

  Unfortunately there is no classification for the unknown invisibles, and they don’t seem to belong with the rainbow culture which has finally been given a voice. It means staying put at home, paying bills like a good citizen and not causing a fuss. It certainly doesn’t mean joining a pride festival, because in spite of whatever credentials one has in life, if you are still getting “the look,” you don’t belong.

  Just proves that inclusion has a way to go yet.

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• Good Smells

  Posted at 5:00 pm by kayewer, on May 27, 2023

  

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• Tuck In

  Posted at 4:21 pm by kayewer, on May 20, 2023

  My department held an awards luncheon this past week. It was virtual, since the company decided to discard one of our leased buildings, leave the second one closed except for basic services, and continue to have all our phone contact personnel work from home. There have been rumors that next year we will actually meet in person someplace, but considering we are spread out in some half dozen states from Cape May to Kalamazoo, I doubt we will have as big a turnout as a virtual meeting will.

  The surprising thing about the virtual luncheon is that nobody ate on camera.

  In the good old days–three years ago when we had an actual office culture–people ate together in the cafeteria without any embarrassment. Now that we’ve become hermits in our own homes, we seem to be more ashamed of being observed close-up while eating our meals.

  One person was too tempted by their selection (delivered via food delivery service and paid for by the company) to wait, and they sneaked in a few bites as we joined in some good-natured ice-breaking conversation and tried to stoke the fires of camaraderie on a Brady Bunch-style video conference. Even though nobody else ate, I know everybody got lunch, because had one of the e-gift cards not been delivered, I would have been the first person to hear of it.

  I had also chosen not to eat while the meeting was in progress, because as one of the organizing crew, I needed to be the one to run the awards slideshow and watch for any activities needing attention. If I needed to speak up, that would be hard to do while devouring luncheon food.

  In all it turned out to be a fun time. We set aside an hour for the event and it ultimately ended up taking about forty minutes. It wasn’t anything like black tie or a stage with an orchestra pit, but we had the opportunity to see people we don’t normally view in our new normal. All but one attended, which is admirable considering how our schedules work. I could do it again next year.

  I doubt we will actually do anything in person before I’m ready to retire. It doesn’t seem feasible, and it may just end up being more awkward than a virtual event. Does anybody still have clothes for a nice place to eat out anymore?

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• Bombarded

  Posted at 4:59 pm by kayewer, on May 13, 2023

  My home life is a sort of solitary confinement, since I have no regular visitors, so my mental stimulation and social exposure both come from going out to public places like the mall. Also, after breaking a 45-day television limited period, my news was coming from my computer via trusted sites and social media.

  Never have I been more depressed about the condition our country is in.

  While I was in a store finishing my purchases, the woman behind the counter chatted with me about general things, and somehow the subject was brought up of a student suicide attempt where she is on the faculty. The student in question was suspected of having a mixed home life (with a possible dishonorable parent present). She apparently downed a handful of over-the-counter pills in the restroom, then called 911 on herself and sat in the main lobby waiting for the paramedics to arrive, not even alerting the main office staff. The subject of bullying came up, because I told her how I felt about the issue. Earlier this year, a student in a school system not far from mine died by suicide to rid herself of the constant bullying she was experiencing. The woman at the counter told me that nothing was ever done to bullies, because detention or other attempts to call attention to bad behavior hurts their feelings.

  So bullying is not only okay in schools, but the system is discouraging punishment for it.

  As I was leaving the store (a women’s clothier), a young lad of about three years old was being driven through the mall in a kid-friendly push cart by his father. The kid was raising the retractable parent handle out of its holder and banging it down repetitively, with the wild-eyed look of overstimulation on his face. Other shoppers were trying valiantly to glance away and ignore the commotion, but having just been mentally blown away by the status of school-age behavior, I was in a bad mood.

  Mind you, I never had the privilege of being around children, but I know enough about parenting techniques which are tested and proven that I just went for it. The father was looking at me sheepishly as I regarded the young man and said, “My goodness! What happens when it’s broken and you can’t play with it anymore?” This did give the tyke pause. The dad said, “Move on to the next thing to break.” I laughed good-naturedly, smiled at the poor dad and then continued speaking to the kid. “Do you know what’s better? Building things! Building things is great. You can make whatever you want, and then break it and start over.” I then extended my apologies to the dad, who didn’t seem put out by my presence, and I left the store feeling like the Lil’ Abner character Joe with the unpronounceable last name who had a perpetual cloud over his head.

  I was three for three: the dinner I had before entering the store–two slices of mushroom pizza–was as cardboard-like as I had anticipated, and things got worse from there.

  A woman with a rented retail cart approached me and wanted to use one of her straightening gizmos on my hair. Those demo model flat irons have been used on too many other people’s heads for my comfort. I had to back away like a scared cat and make a run for it. Working for commission or getting people’s attention for a start-up can cause desperation to sink in, but for goodness sake, don’t abduct people.

  Back at home, I watched a few videos, and was disgusted to find that a college student thought that San Francisco was not in California, that another thought she and her significant other both needed to take her birth control pills (thus using up a 28-day supply in 14 days), and the reason a third pound burger lost its popularity on a restaurant’s menu was because people thought a quarter pound was more meat.

  Then I was brought into a courtroom video featuring a sovereign citizen. This is loosely defined as a person who apparently likes living in the US because they can decide to reject government and invoke their own individual anarchistic method of living, in which they need not be held accountable for obtaining proper identification or obeying common safety-oriented laws. This means they have no license, their vehicles have no plates, and if they are arrested for suspicion of an offense, they simply say they won’t accept judgment nor the persons invoking it. That endlessly horrendous piece of time in my life I would not get back definitely beat out the folks on the docket who claimed Jesus to be their lawyer or represented (yawn) themselves in court (and often lost). Next was a woman who said she needed to breathe, so refused to cover her nose and mouth like the hundred or more passengers–who, obviously, were breathing just fine–and enjoyed the chaos she created until she was escorted off the flight.

  This is the current generation, developed over two to three decades of inattention, misinformation and gross neglect.

  If I didn’t benefit from the walking and conversation, I would opt for the quiet of staying home with the computer and TV off. Better silence than all of this.

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• Longevity

  Posted at 5:00 pm by kayewer, on May 6, 2023

  

  In my lifetime I have seen only two monarchs rule Great Britain, yet there have been thirteen Presidents of the United States since my birth. Imagine that. Britain had one queen for a long time, and now it has yet another king. Thirteen people (out of the 46 we’ve had in our history) took on the most important job in our country, and served for a few years each. This may support the idea that some people do have a job for life. That seems to be a passing concept these days, and not one we prefer.

  The late Queen Elizabeth II devoted her entire life to the service of her country. She was born royal, she took on the great responsibility of being the monarch and retained that duty to her last breath. Not that one or two four-year terms of a president makes them any less devoted, but for the men who have served our nation, there have been times before and after that service in which they were ordinary people. Monarchs don’t do that.

  We in the “colonies” are in a social system in which we like to switch people around. When election time comes, we don’t always let the last official stay in office, which sometimes means we fluctuate between one system of government and another every few years. Sometimes we find a huge population of our citizens feeling either contentedly stuck in the system they like, or mired in the wrong system for those few years.

  The monarchy, however, stands strong with their people ready for record-holding periods of rule, and the citizens don’t seem to mind. The proof is that Elizabeth II had the longest reign ever (over 70 years) and Victoria placed second with 63 years on the throne (two kings came in next in the 50-year-plus category). We had one president (Franklin Roosevelt) who served three terms because it was available to be done, and another (William Henry Harrison) lasted a month.

  The back-and-forth two-party government has been difficult and increasing polarizing lately, yet watching the coronation of the new rulers across the pond brings some hope that, whether one is born to duty or elected to it, we can handle change and thrive in it regardless of how it happens.

  Who knows what will happen in the years to come?

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• Damn the Damp

  Posted at 4:56 pm by kayewer, on April 29, 2023

  

  Some places in America received too much winter weather. In California, the record-breaking total was over 56 feet of snow. That’s about the height of a half dozen or more average persons standing on each other’s shoulders. In the Sierra Nevada region, they experienced the second biggest snow totals ever (the first occurring in 1952). The snowpack determines the future of water resources, and the resulting melt will likely refill long-dried-out aquifers and remove much of the drought damage from the past several years.

  In some places, the sight of rain is still the object of disdain. The past two days we’ve had rain on the East Coast, and one would think the cars had stopped working. Streets are nearly empty, and the only people who begrudgingly go out are the parents who pick up their children from school.

  We tend to not like snow or rain, simply because things become wet when we don’t want them to. Both are a necessary part of life on this planet, and Earth would not thrive without the change of seasons. It may be inconvenient to wear a coat and hat or boots, but we seem to be the only species to be inconvenienced by inclement weather. The bison don’t seem to mind the snow, and in fact they look interesting dusted with white during a blizzard. Dogs and cats shake off moisture. Ducks and aquatic birds pay little attention. Modern man, however, gears up against the horrors of moisture in the air as if it were poisonous.

  Sure we’ve had the issue of acid rain come up, but not lately, so don’t go there.

  Visit any major city after a rainstorm, and you will see discarded umbrellas in trash containers everywhere. It seems that once the threat is passed, any reminders of it must be thrown away. Some of those unfortunate bumbershoots were blown asunder by the accompanying winds, and are nothing more than twisted skeletons with the skin of water repellent fabric hanging in tatters. Another popular discard is newspapers, which are either held overhead folded or tented to protect fragile hairdos. We never seem to be prepared for when rain will come, or we’re embarrassed when we’re ready for it and it doesn’t come. The scout motto “Be Prepared” no longer has a place in modern social circles.

  There are pleasant things to look forward to after a rainstorm, such as a rainbow, or sunny beams emerging from a cloud bank. We sometimes rely on mechanical sounds of the rain to soothe us to sleep or relax us during mindfulness exercises. It’s the physical presence of water we detest when we’re not under the showerhead for the purpose of hygiene.

  It would be nice to make peace with our planet and accept that a little rain is required to fall, and the occasional snow event is inevitable. We don’t have to hole up until they pass. And they do pass. At least places like California will have something better to look forward to when the last pile of snow melts under the spring sun.

  People are likely to cheer.

  That’s better than complaining about it.

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