Life is truly a realm of transitions. From the moment of birth, we begin evolving and growing, and as we become sentient, we also make choices and decisions and change them constantly. Occasionally we cling desperately to some ideals and concepts at considerable cost to our sense of self. The changes we make alter the course of our lives from one time to another.
In my decades of life, I have found a unique niche in writing which has been both a joy and torture. When an elementary teacher first took an interest in my assignment preparation technique, and later when I was sent to an advance creative writing workshop at the high school, the faculty treated me as if I were a burden by having any type of talent. It became clear that I was expected to not succeed, possibly in favor of other students with more desirable, but unspoken, traits.
It’s wonderful for the ego to have those who are supposed to be shaping your character break it down by shoving metaphorical bamboo shards under your emotional fingernails.
Occasionally my writing has brought positive responses and rewards, but on others I have lost privileges and my feelings of worth. At present I have had some tests of resolve which I cannot ignore. My current project is a series of novels which are being critiqued, and it’s been a harrowing journey. While I sort out the particulars of my project and try to keep the rest of my personal life in order, my blog may be shorter or more sporadic, though I will strive toward the former to keep my promise of consistency for you, my devoted readers.
All of the publicity in our world says that a life should be well-lived, and the key is to not leave anybody out of that opportunity, and I include myself in that concept. For all the negativity, isolation, bullying, ignorance and cruelty I have experienced, the balance of positivity, companionship, kindness, knowledge, and empathy have put too much stress on the wrong side of the scale. My health has suffered, and I have felt banned from an essential part of what makes our country great: the pursuit of happiness.
The process of reinvention can be difficult, but trial and error must eventually lead to success, and that is what I will be striving for in the weeks to come. I hope you will continue to follow my journey with me.
After all, the year isn’t over yet; it’s only week 40 of 52. Anything is possible in twelve weeks.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog 