We have often been taught about the conquering explorers of old who sailed to find and take over lands beyond the horizons of the great seas. In the past, we were taught, a bunch of men would run a small boat onto a patch of land, stick a flag in it, declare it the property of some great country’s regal leader and then set forth to kill anybody already living there, or put them to work making a new version of the same old country they sailed in from.
Today, the conquerors just send email.
My main account was blown up recently by a variety of offers from merchants I don’t even patronize, saying I won this prize or had a special offer on that merchandise. The peace of my email junk box was destroyed by some sender with a “dot ES” in it. On every single piece of junk, the same email address with a different company in front of it. Definitely potential scam material. I took a good guess at what it could mean, but looking it up confirmed it: I was being mail-bombed by somebody with origins in Spain, or España in the native tongue (thus the ES in the email address).
Some of Christopher Columbus’ great ancestors are trying to conquer my inboxes! Nigeria, take up your things and go home; the Spanish are coming!
The same sender was bombarding me with two of everything. My AOL inbox has been bad enough (even with spam blockers which I pay for), but I couldn’t tolerate this. I did what any American patriot would do. I began reporting and blocking. Yes, they had a link for unsubscribing. No, I don’t think it means anything. After that task was done, I checked AOL. It was much cleaner than I would’ve expected.
I felt good that, the next time I sign in to check email, my junk mail will be less crowded. Then, just moments before starting to post this story, I sated my curiosity about some of the options available on my service by clicking on one. What came up was. . . .in Spanish.
I’m trapped in a horror movie in another language (on Halloween weekend, no less). Messages in Spanish are coming back from the digital dead to torment me.
The last time I took any Spanish was in college and, unfortunately, my abilities as an English-speaking writer don’t translate well to another language. I passed the courses, but have no command of it, meaning I couldn’t tell off the junk mail bombers without the aid of Google Translate. I also can’t ask my service provider to give me an English version of what I’m looking for. Well, that’s their loss.
Queen Isabella, on the other hand, would have been incensed at my ignorance. She probably would’ve put me on the Santa Maria for a one-way ticket home to what she assumed were the spice islands.
Imagine me on a boat with a hundred smelly men who don’t speak English. I think I would’ve had the entire vessel to myself in half an hour (and no lifeboats). I suppose the Pinta would’ve towed me.
They didn’t have a boat club version of AAA in those days.
So I’m dealing with dozens of Spanish junk mails and a benefit which I can’t use since I can’t read it.
And I’ve gone off on a tangent about Spanish email employees and long-dead boatmen helping Columbus discover new lands.
Please don’t complain to my inbox.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog 
Invasión española
Posted at 3:07 pm by kayewer, on October 26, 2024
We have often been taught about the conquering explorers of old who sailed to find and take over lands beyond the horizons of the great seas. In the past, we were taught, a bunch of men would run a small boat onto a patch of land, stick a flag in it, declare it the property of some great country’s regal leader and then set forth to kill anybody already living there, or put them to work making a new version of the same old country they sailed in from.
Today, the conquerors just send email.
My main account was blown up recently by a variety of offers from merchants I don’t even patronize, saying I won this prize or had a special offer on that merchandise. The peace of my email junk box was destroyed by some sender with a “dot ES” in it. On every single piece of junk, the same email address with a different company in front of it. Definitely potential scam material. I took a good guess at what it could mean, but looking it up confirmed it: I was being mail-bombed by somebody with origins in Spain, or España in the native tongue (thus the ES in the email address).
Some of Christopher Columbus’ great ancestors are trying to conquer my inboxes! Nigeria, take up your things and go home; the Spanish are coming!
The same sender was bombarding me with two of everything. My AOL inbox has been bad enough (even with spam blockers which I pay for), but I couldn’t tolerate this. I did what any American patriot would do. I began reporting and blocking. Yes, they had a link for unsubscribing. No, I don’t think it means anything. After that task was done, I checked AOL. It was much cleaner than I would’ve expected.
I felt good that, the next time I sign in to check email, my junk mail will be less crowded. Then, just moments before starting to post this story, I sated my curiosity about some of the options available on my service by clicking on one. What came up was. . . .in Spanish.
I’m trapped in a horror movie in another language (on Halloween weekend, no less). Messages in Spanish are coming back from the digital dead to torment me.
The last time I took any Spanish was in college and, unfortunately, my abilities as an English-speaking writer don’t translate well to another language. I passed the courses, but have no command of it, meaning I couldn’t tell off the junk mail bombers without the aid of Google Translate. I also can’t ask my service provider to give me an English version of what I’m looking for. Well, that’s their loss.
Queen Isabella, on the other hand, would have been incensed at my ignorance. She probably would’ve put me on the Santa Maria for a one-way ticket home to what she assumed were the spice islands.
Imagine me on a boat with a hundred smelly men who don’t speak English. I think I would’ve had the entire vessel to myself in half an hour (and no lifeboats). I suppose the Pinta would’ve towed me.
They didn’t have a boat club version of AAA in those days.
So I’m dealing with dozens of Spanish junk mails and a benefit which I can’t use since I can’t read it.
And I’ve gone off on a tangent about Spanish email employees and long-dead boatmen helping Columbus discover new lands.
Please don’t complain to my inbox.
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Author: kayewer