Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Monthly Archives: March 2024

    • Object of Desire

      Posted at 10:09 pm by kayewer, on March 30, 2024

      This is a new story about our culture of acquisition. Some time ago, the most desired collectible object was a thermal container; the Stanley company’s limited edition pink cup drove desperate people to line up outside stores before dawn, harass and cause fights among store clerks and shoppers alike, post social media clips of people crying with happiness over their purchases and school children to be tormented for not joining the popularity clique associated with the acquisition.

      I have used Tervis vessels for years because they are American-made and stylish, perhaps not as old a company as Stanley (Tervis was founded in 1946, and Stanley 1913), but I don’t risk bodily injury for the ones I buy, nor do I bow to popularity contests. The things I needed to do to be accepted into the outer circles of school friendships such as purchasing certain clothes or study accessories did and meant nothing. Nobody brings up one thing we were supposed to be popular by collecting, and those objects are probably either part of a trash heap deep in the ocean or in a dump somewhere.

      Yet the concept of the “must-have” object continues to drive us like mindless sheep being herded by the nipping teeth of a shepherd dog. Nobody seems to tire of the ritual. Word comes out of the latest object, and immediately the pursuit begins. In no time, a simple thing ruins the peace and balance of daily life.

      Here is another such story.

      This object was touted as a promotional offer for purchase involving an event, and no proof of association with the actual event was needed to buy. Also, it was provided a month early, meaning that people not even planning to have anything to do with the event could purchase one. By the time the event actually began, the object was already appearing online for sale at several times its retail price.

      And there was one other aspect to the object: it had an unusual configuration which lent itself to some R-rated speculation similar to the significance of apples and pastry in the film American Pie, and leading to memes about, um, other uses for the collectible and an IYKYK (if you know, you know) sub-topic. Would you pay three times the cost for a collectible which had possibly been near the anxious groin of some careless person experimenting with the potential of a thrill?

      I was one of the people who attended the actual event, and the last object was sold out just minutes before my arrival. This meant that I and most of the people who really would have benefitted from the object didn’t have the opportunity. Do the event originators care? Are the resellers actually making profits? We will never know. The creators certainly made back their investment. However, my feeling is that if I can’t walk into a place during regular hours and receive what I am looking for, it’s not worth injuries or a lighter wallet to seek it out among the resell vultures.

      And I have just told you the story of what happened when AMC theatres introduced a limited edition popcorn bucket to commemorate the release of Denis Villenueve’s Dune: Part 2 in theatres at the beginning of March. The bucket, which began sales in February, included a lid in the shape of a breaching sandworm from the story, its gaping mouth ringed by long spiked teeth recreated in molded plastic as a truncated tunnel of prurient interest to some collectors and curious adventure-seekers.

      I wish I didn’t know.

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    • The Painful Post

      Posted at 2:53 pm by kayewer, on March 23, 2024

      Back in the days when I became a tween–which was before the term was even coined–malls sometimes had independent stand-alone retailers in their middles, similar to the visitors’ information booth. One of the most popular, and which has continued to serve customers for decades, is the Piercing Pagoda.

      It is what it says: a place to go for pierced ears. The “pagoda” part was simply a part of the moniker and original logo. Its founders, the Cohen family, owned jewelry stores and decided it might be a convenience to offer ear piercings in a separate retail space, so they planted a pagoda-shaped structure in-between the pedestrian walkways of the Plymouth Meeting Mall in PA in 1972. Now the stores are known as Banter by Piercing Pagoda. They have implanted millions of earrings into people over the years.

      Many of them have exchanged banter while visiting there. More on that later.

      The story I want to tell actually took place inside a mall department store. A piercing station was set up in the jewelry department of the now-defunct Strawbridge & Clothier for a special event, and I was accompanying some of my classmates because one wanted to get her ears pierced there. It seems the piercing was free with purchase, though I’m not sure if our mall had Piercing Pagoda back then.

      The initial journey to one’s first piercing seems similar to the minutes preceding one’s execution by firing squad. A condemned person may seem stalwart until the second comes when reality sets in. The determined individual’s inner strength dissolves from that of devil-may-care to mayday in mere moments.

      Perhaps it’s the approach of the piercing gun, which back then was a commendably large piece of beauty weaponry for such a small task (possibly because it seems to be modeled after carpentry nail guns). Until the seated victim sees the preparations as the assigned technician loads the earring post (and its backing to hold it in place on the other side of the earlobe), the fact that something is about to be rammed at high speed into a body part doesn’t seem at all intimidating. It’s, as they say, a rite of passage.

      As the inevitable approaches, a first-timer will often start rambling, either by praying or repeating comforting mantras. Sometimes they will desperately start asking for somebody to hold their hand, or even squeezing their eyes shut as if that action will subvert all the negativity that is to follow.

      When my classmate started rambling, I moved away to look at the new fashion lines. I saw the piercing gun long before she did, and decided no way was I subjecting myself to such a ritual.

      Sometimes only one person is available to do a piercing, and when you have two earlobes this means two of the same experience. With two people piercing, they can coordinate the firing squad technique to prevent unintentional movement by the subject and potential misfires. With one, the victim must steel themselves for a second dose of anxiety.

      The technique is also similar to that of a firing squad: ready (set the coordinates of where the earring is going to go with a pen dot), aim (place the gun at the correct spot), and fire. It is at this point that the newly pierced person reacts the strongest. Sometimes people complain about the discomfort, or say they felt nothing. Some pass out. Sometimes the onlookers nearly pass out. I was only listening as it was done, and I felt queasy.

      I recently saw a video of a person who got their lower lip pierced, known in the industry as a vertical labret. The subject had multiple other piercings, as well as tattoos, but this particular addition caused her to pass out momentarily. Her friend, who was filming the event, lowered her cell phone camera and did not keep filming while the newly-adorned individual recovered. Some other video compilations feature young tweens whose faces morph from fear to finality as they survive the process. One of my favorites is a girl who cussed “Son of a biscuit eater, that hurt!” And like being before a firing squad, something inside dies as a mirror is brought in and the victim gets a first look at the reddening earlobes freshly impaled with gold, silver or titanium.

      Why am I covering this topic? Because after all these years, I still don’t get the concept. I don’t condemn it, nor do I have anything bad to say about it. In fact, one of my favorite comics has a character named Pierce, who has excessive head hardware in his ears, brows and elsewhere, and he’s hilarious. But I always leave videos about this subject scratching my head. I have no piercings, though I’ve had some encouragement to get at least one from past relationships. Among my jewelry is a pair of simple post earrings I was gifted as a subtle hint, and which will probably end up becoming estate fodder.

      I guess Piercing Pagoda will never get a cent from me. I’m giving myself a reprieve.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged body-piercing, earrings, jewelry, life, piercing-pagoda, piercings
    • Spending Time

      Posted at 3:15 pm by kayewer, on March 16, 2024

      It all started with a social media ad for a fire extinguisher in a can. Since I cook with electric, not gas (imagine that), I don’t worry as much about having accidents in the kitchen with an open flame, but I figured it would be helpful to have something on hand to extinguish a fire anyway.

      I had just paid the credit card bill hours before, but the deed was done.

      The empty credit card statement never stays so for long. I’ve learned this early and often (like every month). Luxury spending is part of the bill, and I know they add up. However, it’s good to know what I’m buying is helpful stuff on occasion, to make up for the other things. Some people put their daily coffee on their card, while others indulge in one big expenditure once in a while, like a coffee maker to bring down all those daily coffee purchases. We all have our needs and vices laid out in detail on our monthly transaction roundup.

      Since I began the quest to declutter the home I’ve grown up in since before I started school, it’s been a challenge. The stuff from the history of my life is all good. None of it is really broken, just obsolete. The corner table I ordered this week for the hallway is going to be useful, since I made the decision to obliterate the furniture ghosts of the past and tidy the upstairs hallway. The corner held old books geared to a more youthful me, situated on a towering shelf unit for years, so those books are going away, to be replaced by a barren tiered thing with decorative knickknacks on it, such as a candle which will never be lit, but looks good. Let’s face it: one can’t be stylish and have an empty corner.

      After the order for the extinguisher in a can and the shelf, I received an email from my collectibles dealer, announcing that a new item I was interested in for 2024 (the new catalogue is a week old) was available to order. I’m still waiting on word from items I wanted in the 2023 collection. I suddenly feel like I’m being offered the iPhone 17 before the 16 (wouldn’t take either: I’m an Android girl), but collectibles are sold on a deadline, so yes I ordered it.

      Since spring is coming, an offer came into my feed for a revised compact hose. It comes with its own spray nozzle, and I can drink water from the hose because the inside is free of contaminants. How could I pass that up when I have a spigot in need of its own hose? Maybe I can relive my childhood before the idea of clean garden hose water became obsolete, and drink water from the hose while I’m watering the landscaping.

      The store was out of my cleaning supplies. Amazon to the rescue with overnight shipping. I could clean my countertops and my face, since I threw in some makeup remover towelettes. A neighborhood feed noted that folks were coming around to talk about solar or our souls (not sure which). Simply apply a small sign, ordered online, by the doorbell reading “No Solicitations of Any Kind.” Problem solved. Can’t have anybody interrupting a work Zoom meeting with the executives to talk about saving either me or the planet. I’d rather save my job.

      The groceries were my biggest purchase this past week. All at once I ran out of mixed nuts, bananas, oranges, fish, eggs, and something for dessert.

      The handyman came to help this week and found that the window shade I ordered was too long. The worker who cut the shade had the old one as a template. How could that possibly go wrong? It means a trip back to the big store for a fix, and I never come out of there with just what I went into the place for.

      Maybe I’ll get a bracket to mount that extinguisher in the can. And a few houseplants.

      Besides that, my other order was for a magnetic paper towel holder. The handyman removed the old one from the wall. My late father was ever the one for finding some solution to a problem. His “that’ll hold it” attitude kept many disasters at bay by either good fortune or sheer will. For this job he had used long, permanent, unremovable nails with spring mounts to fasten the original holder, and removing them required cutting the hardware and breaking the old plastic holder. It was, after all, obsolete. Over 24 years ago. I was using a countertop model and hated it. Pulling towels vertically doesn’t work for me. Now that the old holder is gone, I freed much-needed inches of space. The new holder did not come free. I’ll pay for it next billing cycle.

      My spending did go further beyond the usual, because I took a trip to the mall to enjoy some indoor walking for my health. Only one store drew me in, and I broke out my loyalty charge card. That’s a separate bill from the credit card department statement.

      But what I bought will be useful. Nothing about this person is obsolete.

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    • Fear: the Woke Killer

      Posted at 2:58 pm by kayewer, on March 9, 2024

      When a society chooses to introduce a new concept to the acceptable sphere of inclusion, there is bound to be some resistance from those who do not like to experience anything outside their present state of comfort. This has happened when any new thing comes into our world, and it isn’t going to stop.

      For those of us enjoying the release of the movie “Dune: Part Two” in theatres, we are familiar with the integration of outside influences, as well as the discomfort this integration can cause, so it’s a great way to introduce this week’s observation. Don’t worry, it won’t take long to appear. Just enjoy the setup.

      In the “Dune” universe there is a mantra called the Litany Against Fear. Folks recite the litany to better approach anything which could trigger a defensive reaction, by focusing on facing the thing causing fear and overcoming its power to diminish one’s inner strength. The promise at the end of the litany is that the fear will then pass and no longer exist. Fear, says the litany, destroys the mind.

      Our society is beginning to see things we never saw before, which can be somewhat frightening. A video I saw the other day showed a woman who has had the whites of her eyes (sclera) tattooed blue. My reaction was, “My, that must have been difficult.” I can’t imagine having somebody, expert tattoo artist or not, aiming a vibrating needle filled with dye at my eyeball.

      Did I throw down a social media reply decrying the evils or dangers of tattooing? Did I call the woman hideous? Did I mention a word about her split tongue or multiple piercings? No. I kept scrolling. It works for her. I wouldn’t do it. We’re still sharing the same spinning planet.

      Now for the “you won’t believe what happened this week” story.

      Some feedback came to my attention recently from somebody who had choice angry comments about a photograph online. Because fear is involved in the person’s rant to some degree, it fits here nicely.

      The picture depicted what looked like two businessmen, with papers strewn on a bed, and a laptop; the men were sitting on the spread and appeared to be engaged in a conversation about the information onscreen. Their faces show an officially casual demeanor. The background shows a side table with one lamp and non-descript accessories. The general look of the photo is that these gentlemen are on a business trip and reviewing documents and online content using the hotel bed (hotel desks usually have only one chair, so it makes sense).

      For purposes of privacy, let’s narrowly say the sponsor of the image is a business software company. I attempted to find the image, but it may be proprietary to that company. Sorry.

      So what was the problem with the photo? The complainant was livid about the image because the men were in close enough proximity to be touching each other on the sides.

      Call the morals police! Send up the “clutching my pearls” signal!

      Let’s put the person’s fear into perspective. I very much doubt that they never had side contact with another person of the same gender before. Would the reaction be the same if the two persons in the photo were women? The individual here took a harmless image and turned it, in their own mind, into an overt LGBTQ+ advertisement. Having a marked negative reaction to the acceptance of same-sex suggestive visual displays, the person disavowed anybody responsible for the final product. So the sponsor of the software company lost a customer because of a “woke culture” endorsement that didn’t exist in what was being touted as the proof.

      This poor individual will be casting out so many people and businesses in the future, that soon none will remain. All because of being afraid of two figures in a photograph. If they had looked at the picture without the filter of fear, there was nothing there. Heaven forbid two men on a business trip should get less than two feet away from each other. Perhaps they should have phone conferenced from their separate hotel rooms.

      Fear has killed the person’s mind.

      Funny thing is, LGBTQ+ people have been in everybody’s atmosphere since the dawn of human existence. It’s the integration of what is already there–the sudden clarity of knowing it’s there and has been–that has put the poor soul’s mind into overdrive.

      Hopefully the poor person will not be too badly affected by Daylight Saving, when we all won’t want to wake up for an extra hour. Fortunately more of us are woke when we’re awake. Maybe someday that person will find balance. Try the Litany Against Fear. That’s my prescription for the week.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged faith, fear, mindfulness, poetry, writing
    • Little Red Hens

      Posted at 7:04 pm by kayewer, on March 2, 2024

      Americans have a history spanning over 240 years in which we have made the word “independent” our mantra. We originally wanted to govern ourselves instead of being another remote place ruled by a monarchy. Now we simply talk about being independent because we like to stand on our own and ask for help from nobody. Sometimes that is not always the best way to do things.

      A series of videos popped into my social media feed called “Just Rolled In,” which focuses on strange things workers receive in auto repair shops. It’s amazing to see to what lengths people will go to avoid having a professional work on their car. These videos show entire undercarriages held together with cable ties, wires or–a popular choice overall–spray foam. People try to mount new aftermarket parts backwards, leave vital fasteners or layers of support uninstalled. We’re sharing the roads with these DIY yahoos. Some of the videos indicate the “customer declined repairs,” so that guy in front of you in the clunker may be driving on a layer of spray foam and a prayer.

      Part of my job is fielding emails, and it seems that customers want to do everything online themselves, even if it means losing benefits or privileges, or compromising security. Many places have highly trained human beings to discuss anything with them 24 hours a day, but if I had a dollar for every customer who said their time is too valuable for them to find a minute or two to call, I would have been retired five years ago. Like the vehicles in the “Just Rolled In” shops, I see customer accounts that look like a tornado invaded their information and turned it into nothing like what it should be. But DIY culture says it’s ours to clean up, not theirs to avoid making into a mess in the first place.

      We check our own merchandise at kiosks at the big stores. We pump our own gas (thank goodness New Jersey still has self service). We take our own measurements, tell medical websites our own symptoms, and we wonder why things go wrong.

      Nothing can replace human knowledge. We train our brains to know something about a lot of little things, and we usually specialize in one or two big things for which we enjoy a job that pays us well. In the olden days, barter was used as much as coinage to receive services from those specialists on whom others depended to keep things running smoothly. Today, our auto repair shops, bakeries, doctors and web technicians have the knowledge to do things for us.

      I’m going to post this now, and my blog provider will do the rest. Thank goodness.

      There is much to be said for leaving some skills to the professionals.

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