Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Monthly Archives: December 2023

    • Last-Minute Greeting

      Posted at 3:03 pm by kayewer, on December 30, 2023

      My mail for the past two weeks has been predictable and dull. I did get some Christmas cards, but the deliveries were mostly from catalogs. I also got notes from charities who have not figured out yet that I give from January to November and take this month off. Everybody gives in December, because it’s the month for remembering the less fortunate (if you’ve ever wondered what Boxing Day is, it’s said to be about the alms box at church, and has evolved to include other events such as department store sales). I didn’t order from any catalogs because I’m at a stage in life where I have everything I need, and it is time to start cutting back as I shift into my senior years of minimalist existence.

      I did get one rather extraordinary piece of mail. If I didn’t look at the front of it right away to see where it came from, I would have guessed it was something to be concerned about. It was square and comprised mostly of blue lined notebook paper carefully assembled with tape. When I saw the return address, I was relieved to see it was from an old neighbor of mine we’ll call Gabriella.

      Until the 80s, she lived with her mother and grandmother, brothers and sisters in a quaint house near the corner of the block. The family lived and breathed their faith above all else. They spent a lot of time doing regular activities and attending services at the large church/school complex nearby, run by a well known religious leader whose broadcasts on radio were part of the old-time tradition of strict Sunday adherence. I attended bible school and occasional events there, but the times I spent at their home were nearly always filled with messages, lessons and such thrown into every subject of conversation. Being one attuned to learning how to better regulate my life, I hope I was perceived as somebody who made a good effort. I was frowned upon for taking up ballet and reading young women’s magazines such as Glamour, but overall our relationship was good, and I did get an attendance award at the vacation bible school my final summer.

      Gabriella got married, and I was a bridesmaid. The ceremony was held at the church, of course, and the reverend himself officiated. It was the second of two weddings I attended in my lifetime, and the only one I was an active part of. I have a videotape of the event which needs transcribing onto DVD for future reference; though the announcer at the reception called me a friend of the groom instead of the bride by mistake, I still cherish that recording.

      Back to the letter. It wasn’t a long correspondence by any means. Gabriella apparently thought of me and wrote a line on the notepaper saying I was weighing heavy on her heart. No mention of Merry Christmas, how she or her family was doing, or anything. The letter was part of an envelope she could have used, which carried a tract, several pages of which were included.

      Why she went to such pains to surround a true envelope with note paper is a mystery. The few words in its contents makes me suspect that my friend is not doing as well as she could be. Normally her occasional letters would have more content and show some precision at corresponding. This is concerning. She is up there in years, like me, but younger and certainly able to nourish her body as well as her spirit unless charity has not added enough to her household. I don’t dare ask. She wouldn’t tell me, only that she has what she needs.

      My regular stationery is out of reach while I’m resorting, repairing and decluttering (I think my letterhead disappeared into a storage bin). I will reach into my piles of letter-writing materials that are still available, and send off a reply to let her know I’m thinking of her and not to worry, because I’m doing well.

      I suspect I may never see her in person again, as she lives in the far reaches of PA with her husband and as many children as divine chemistry has placed with them. I saw her firstborn son, but there have been more beyond him whom I have never met.

      I’m glad to be blessed with the ability to write physical letters when texts just won’t do the trick. She probably does not own a cell phone. If she had a phone or computer, I could at least see a picture of her. I’m not one to judge, but it would be nice to see her and at least know what the present day has brought her either way. Maybe that’s never going to happen, but she is still part of my history, and I would do anything for her within my power. Even send her some stationery.

      God bless Gabriella.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged boxing-day, friends, letters
    • The Year That Was 2023

      Posted at 3:17 pm by kayewer, on December 23, 2023

      The past is a polarizing topic, as evidenced by the old sayings for and against exploring what has gone before. It can’t be changed, but it provides insight we can learn from. The successes and mistakes are tools by which we can improve our future, so I decided to look back at the blogs from the past months.

      The year began with a mini-purge which unearthed a copy of Playgirl magazine from the 70s that was not mine (and how it got into the home remains an eternal mystery). The nostalgia value alone made me keep that as my “one-in-ten rule” save from that declutter mission. During the year I was given the opportunity to have hot guy posts in my social media feed, and being a single lady, I decided to take advantage of that. I now have guys in towels, cowboys, construction hunks, wet dudes in pools, tattooed dudes who barely hold their trousers up, and all varieties of testosterone in poses for my entertainment. And I don’t need to weed out porn.

      During the year I encountered a parking lot Karen, and a domestic abuse dispute (I spoke to the cops). The bus stop for Greyhound, which I was used to for nearly two years, changed locations without any prior notification. I don’t have any bus trips scheduled for 2024 until the company decides how they are going to treat their ridership (which should improve). Also, I won’t go to New York until the Metropolitan Opera has a season which does not include environmental protestors interrupting the program (I did not post about it, but a performance of Wagner’s Tannhauser in late November was ruined by paying audience members who chose to unfurl banners and shout at the performers).

      I assembled a curio cabinet and a bookshelf, with another to be assembled soon. I may do that to ring in the New Year. I also have two other shelving units and a desk to put together. During the summer I replaced a full set of curtains and got windows installed. The sun porch is still cold, so I needed to purchase a space heater so I can use that area for office space sometime soon. The landscaping continues to thrive as I keep it watered, but winter will soon make watering impossible until spring.

      My bullet journal project was put on hold, but I still have it, and I kept a different one to track my daily life without being a whiny diary. One of my new year goals is to spend more time doing quiet crafting.

      My food delivery service says I saved hundreds of hours in cooking time, but I haven’t lost a pound. I did posts about the joys of bananas, egg salad, ginger ale and Taco Bell, along with the concept of virtual awards luncheons via Brady Bunch group meetings in the workplace (which is home).

      During the year, Great Britain gained a new monarchy, our town pulled off an LGBTQ+ event, the malls struggled to exist in an online shopping world, and people continued to make waiting one’s turn a discomforting event.

      I spent most of my time working from home and after hours without television. I turned it off during a TV-free week and didn’t turn it on again except for things I like. This meant a few Marvel, Harry Potter, fantasy and sci-fi marathons on the weekends, occasional series such as “What We Do in the Shadows,” “Shark Tank,” or anything featuring Gordon Ramsay. My Sunday evenings are spent with a friend watching Food Network. My television is from 2013, has an extended warranty and may be the third longest-lasting appliance to the fridge (in first place was a clock radio).

      Other posts have dealt with the wisdom of Socrates, the craziness of makeup tutorials as part of cheating boyfriend videos, and the occasional notes about the craft of writing from my point of view as a blogger.

      My self-improvement journey is ongoing. Some of the posts I did this year were trying on my spirit, especially when my post about a promising young woman’s loss to the world by her own hand due to bullying was actually read by her mother, who messaged me within hours of the post going live (I am doing my best to follow the pending lawsuit against the school district).

      I let my 45th high school reunion go without my presence, for complex reasons only a therapist would likely understand. I do my best not to gripe about myself in these posts, but readers may find something like an association between their daily lives and mine on occasion. My idea behind these posts has always been to discuss and try to make sense of it all. If you find something satisfying in reading what I post, my job has been done well.

      My first post of 2024 will come in two weeks, and I’m leaving next week’s post open for whatever may come over the next few days. This is the toughest week, between the hectic Christmas weekend and the curtain coming down on the old year next weekend. The year will kick off on a Tuesday with all the messiness of a concert orchestra bowing and blarping out their first notes before the conductor waves his baton and realigns them into a cohesive assembly.

      I will be blarping along with the rest of you through the end of one year and into the start of the next.

      Let’s have plenty of nice things to write about.

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    • Merry Christmas Anyway

      Posted at 3:59 pm by kayewer, on December 16, 2023

      I don’t know why we wait until the end of the year to impose so many holidays on the world. December is cold and the start of the winter season, and some places get their worst weather between December and March. Blizzards with their snow and ice affect holiday travel, bring down most inflatables (poor twelve-foot Rudolph), and sometimes the snow is even the wrong consistency to build a decent snowman.

      Merry Christmas anyway.

      Malls are suffering from a problem; nobody wants to actually make the physical effort to walk in them, visit department stores or little independent pop-up shops, examine real merchandise and purchase it in real time. This is particularly tough on businesses in New Jersey (and some other places) where plastic bags have been banned, but many of the retailers have come out with nice handled paper bags (I have a bag that tucks away in a corner of my purse, and I’ll link the product manufacturer for you below if you would like to try them).

      Santa sometimes sits in the main courts of malls for ages without a single child stopping by to sit on his lap. Part of it is that parents don’t want to dress up their children, or the kids can’t be bothered. But folks, you can’t visit Santa on Amazon. Though you can also buy my favorite reusable shopping bags there.

      Merry Christmas anyway.

      We are having the same problems with factional wars in parts of the world. In fact, a group of protestors decided to hoist “Cease Fire Now” signs in my little town, outside the local Krispy Kreme this very afternoon. Somebody posted that it was an anti-Semitic protest, which seems perplexing. To add to the confusion, I saw a social media post this week from a Jewish woman who escaped a homicidal husband after being forced to submit to sexual and psychological abuse, and was encouraged to yield to some extremist tenets which degraded her as a human being. Not being familiar with the whole story behind some of these twigs on the tree of the Jewish faith, I can’t judge, but the descriptions sounded like the poor woman was not in the community as a whole as we may know it, but in a cult. Now that she is free–at the cost of her extended family and most friends who have denounced her–she went public with her story to bring some of the cruelties of sectarian life into the exposing light of knowledge.

      Happy Hanukkah, anyway, my friend.

      Many of the themed foodstuffs you find on shelves this holiday were produced in August or earlier. But then we are used to preservatives in our food here in America, which other countries ban because they know better.

      Merry Christmas anyway.

      Those folks who put out signage saying, “Keep Christ in Christmas” are not saying anything in reality, because Christmas pretty much translates to “Christ’s Holy Day.” So, Christ is in Christmas. What they mean is to keep the day of December 25 holy. Yet they still go out and buy Uncle Theodore a new shirt.

      Not everybody celebrates a December holiday on the 25th. Some have theirs earlier or later.

      Merry Christmas anyway.

      A lot of people spend December 25 alone. The estimate is that nineteen percent of Americans go solo on Christmas. Even though 88% of those surveyed said they would invite a solo person to celebrate with them, it looks like some slip through the cracks.

      Merry Christmas anyway.

      In the popular movie A Christmas Story, the holiday turkey is ruined when the neighbor’s dogs raid the kitchen and make off with the roast fresh out of the oven, so the family goes to the only place open on the holiday–the local Chinese joint–and enjoy Peking duck (hilariously beheaded by the restaurant owner after Darren McGavin’s character of the “old man” notes it seems to be smiling at him). People are bound to get stuck at airports or train or bus stations, felled by colds, flu or early arrival newborns. Time waits for nobody, and holidays are no exception. Whatever happens on December 25, the day after will come just the same and bring its own burdens and joys.

      No matter what your story is, have a Merry Christmas anyway.

      (For the shopping bags mentioned in this article, go to https://www.chicobag.com/)

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    • Party Time

      Posted at 2:41 pm by kayewer, on December 9, 2023

      I had the privilege of having dinner out twice this week because of the holidays. This is one of the best times of the year to enjoy food prepared by somebody else, whether it’s in the form of a group meal at a restaurant or just at another home of friends or relatives. My meals are prepared by a ghost kitchen for my delivery plan, but that doesn’t count.

      My first dinner was with a friend whose family has a past in the restaurant business, and we have eaten together a few times. I knew I was in for some good home cooking. Our plan was to enjoy the meal and then decorate the brand new–and deeply discounted from last year’s post-holiday sale–Christmas tree. It was a joy to work on the replacement for last year’s version, which had lost its sturdiness too late to replace. The ornaments, a collection years in the making, came out of storage and were lovingly placed individually on the branches, along with some plotting for branch adjustments and gap widening. I brought along a new ornament to add to the collection, in a matching color scheme. The end result was posted to social media, and I headed home with the vision of a lovely tree and lingering memories of a fine roast. I bought two roasts for the holidays for my own meals, but I don’t think they’ll measure up to having somebody else cook for you.

      The second dinner was a group affair at a restaurant in it’s third or fourth rebirth; the most memorable version was devoted to French cuisine, and that was the last time I had visited. For another group luncheon, for which I have forgotten my place in it. I chalk my poor memory up to it being a different decade and long enough ago that it, like the French decor, has passed into distant history.

      Like so many other eateries, this establishment set up an enclosed outdoor dining experience for groups and catered events, well heated by overhead warmers instead of posts. The place was cozy and inviting. We dined on bread by the basket, dunked in quality olive oil. We indulged in multiple appetizers of antipasti and salad. The place was determined to leave no belly unstuffed before the main course arrived.

      Many of us, being of an age where health at dinner is a must, dined on the salmon from among the selections available. Plates of it arrived at the tables, perfectly coordinated. And enjoyed immensely.

      Along with the water, coffee and tea, we had the option to BYOB, so I “B’d” and came with a bottle of California chardonnay. I should stress that I am not a regular drinker, but I have learned over the years that wine is a great part of visitor culture, and a good bottle is welcome nearly everywhere, so I am in the habit of bringing some when the suggestion is made. To me, BYOB means, “But You Outta Bring.” Once the bottles available were uncorked, I got hold of a glass and slipped a small amount into it for my own knowledge of how good a choice I had made. The bottle was empty by the end of the evening. I also learned that chardonnay pairs nicely with salmon. Good call.

      The best part of visiting somebody (or someplace) else for a holiday meal is the variety of it all; the different place, the new outfits, the occasional new person, food you would not otherwise get to try, and the joy and camaraderie of togetherness we indulge in once a year.

      I don’t have any other meal plans for the rest of the month, except to jog around my deliveries so I can cook my own roast and indulge in leftovers for a few days. One must eat, but one must also have choices which fuel the need for something different. That’s where the scheduling comes in. Even if you need to cram it into the last weeks of the year.

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      Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged christmas, christmas-decorations, sale
    • My Sick Assembly Skills

      Posted at 6:08 pm by kayewer, on December 2, 2023

      The past week was a roller coaster. A week ago, I got a last-minute notification that I had a show in town, so I put all my other plans on hold and went, which meant I moved my Saturday plans to Sunday. Monday at work was stressful, because even though we work seven days a week, everybody waited until then to call or email and complain. Still, I kept up my diet regimen and took my vitamins, and since I have been working from home since 2020, my lucky stars have been keeping me fit.

      That luck ended on Tuesday. I awoke with a dry throat, which I attributed to the changes in the weather from 50 degrees one day to just above 30 the next. The discomfort continued into Wednesday and Thursday, but no other symptoms presented themselves.

      They made their debut on Friday. I called a friend of mine, to whose house I was supposed to go for holiday festivities that evening, and informed her that I felt I was not fit to go out, so we rescheduled. That added to what was already becoming a rough start to a December weekend.

      Though my nose was acting as if only allergies were affecting me, nothing prepared me for what I’m calling a stealth cold. Every time I’ve gotten a cold, I have had Niagara Falls for a nose for the first two to three days. This rendition of the virus apparently likes to present symptoms in reverse order. I had two appointments on Friday, so I found myself masking up (which my doctor thanked me for when I explained why I was doing so). My nose began to run, and the sensation of a creature clawing its way up my throat began to dog the entire afternoon.

      To add insult to injury, it started raining. Heavily.

      I headed home and, after some deliberation, decided to run out to the pharmacy five minutes away to grab some cold medication. There was none at home; I hadn’t needed so much as a cough drop for over three years.

      The morning came, and my normal Saturday afternoon plans were canceled (by somebody else), so I was stuck at home sneezing, running and feeling a bit dragged down. Most people would probably snuggle up to some hot beverages and cheesy television fare.

      I decided to assemble a book shelf.

      This is one of those Sauder DIY projects in a flat box with alphabetized parts, a manual and a bag of hardware. Having just finished National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) on Thursday with over 51,000 words in spite of feeling less than optimal, I figured doing something constructive surely beat sitting around letting calories permanently attach themselves like barnacles to my frame.

      The instructions included a QR code and URL for a website to watch the assembly of the product. Like most determinedly dense Americans, I went old school and used just the manual. Also, the last time I assembled a piece of furniture, the people in the visual examples missed steps, and I nearly broke two glass doors which I fought World War III to get fitted.

      The tools I needed to bring to this project were a measuring tape, a Phillips screwdriver (the x-shaped type), and a hammer. The instructions specified to leave power tools out of the picture, thank goodness. They don’t know that, even if I did need one, all of them are from the year zero because my father owned them, and darned if I know how to use them.

      I have never seen screws and bolts like the ones in this project; they’re extraordinary inventions from the obviously brilliant minds of those whom Mensa grants a special knowledge test for admission. The stuff was incredibly easy to work with, and I managed to construct the frame and fascia with no difficulty. I slid items together and screwed prong A’s into slot B’s easily.

      The back of the shelf included a folded fake woodgrain panel which needed to be unfolded and tacked down with nails. I broke out the tape measure (also my father’s) to find that it had become jammed and only extended to about sixteen inches and had torn. The adhesive he had used to reattach the tape after it had broken, dried out and snapped. Being determined to make lemonade from the lemon of a gadget, I took the partial stub of what must have been several feet of lost measuring tape and worked out the placement of the nails to hold the back onto the piece.

      This is where my mother’s kitchen hammer came into the picture. It’s metal and has a handle which unscrews to reveal additional tools. She used that hammer for many little disasters in the absence of my father, and now I tapped firmly away at evenly-spaced nails, measured lovingly twice.

      I ended up with four extra nails. Either the instructions were missing something, or my math sucks worse than I originally thought. However, the back is securely nailed, and with the placement of the shelf inside, I ended up with a finished project.

      The day didn’t go to waste, and I have a place for more books (in the future, maybe one of mine). Meanwhile, the stealth cold seems to be powering down, and I’ll see by the morning whether the whole weekend is shot or not.

      I did buy two of those shelves. . . .

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