Terms such as “love” and “hate” are so misused they have lost their meaning. With Valentine’s Day approaching, it might be wise to look at what these terms do to our daily lives.
Love is defined in the dictionary as an emotional fondness for another person, which can also be elevated to an intense sexual attraction. An attraction for another can be all-consuming to one’s mental state. It is not truly a term one can assign to a blouse in the department store (though one can be excited by the prospect of adding it to one’s wardrobe).
Love brings out feelings of compassion and empathy and is often caused by like-mindedness between two people. Each is inclined to look out for the well-being of the other. They share an understanding of common opinions, feelings and life goals. Often two people in love share at least a few common likes and dislikes. There is joy in doing things they like as a couple. At the same time, they can individually pursue interests they don’t share. Neither needs to feel bad about liking something the other doesn’t.
Hate, on the other hand, is defined as a feeling of extreme dislike or hostility. It can also not be used for that blouse in the department store, because its existence has a possible purpose in somebody else’s life. Somebody may be excited to find it, but it may not be the style for you. You really don’t hate the blouse, but you don’t find it appealing.
When it comes to people, we tend to choose who we love or “hate” based upon what we feel comfortable with. We sort out our experiences, our information or misinformation, and decide this person is okay and that person is not. The differences between people, however, are not really important. You may not find something in common with somebody, but another person may.
That brings us to the polar opposite of love.
Hatred is usually a mistaken term applied when fear is truly the feeling at hand. Bullies, protestors, political activists and the like attempt to not allow the thing they fear to exist. The problem is that often what they fear has always existed; people simply choose a time and place to draw attention to it. It’s one topic today, but another tomorrow. Whatever the subject, the topic of hating is usually what comes out when we fear something we don’t understand. It’s the easy path to hate, rather than to let matters be.
Hating people is the lowest one can go, and yet we perpetuate the idea that it’s okay to leave some people ineligible to be loved. This group is better than that group; this person is lesser than that person, and so on.
This coming Valentine’s Day will be depressing for countless people who have nobody who loves them. Some people have never known love in their lifetime.
Let’s repeat that: there are people on Planet Earth who have NEVER known love in their lifetime!
It must be okay, because it’s going on right now.
Does that make you fearful?
It should.
When we face what we fear, we often find that love has a purpose behind what we choose to see.
Everybody deserves to be loved.
Maybe it’s time we overcame our fear of love.
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