Autumn leaves are a menace. At least that’s what the general opinion is among society. Actually my neighbors, but to me they are the society that matters. I live close to them, and it’s important to maintain stability with one’s neighbors.
I was away for a few hours at a show, and while I was gone, the general alarm went out that the leaves on our lawns needed to be raked to the curb for pickup immediately. I didn’t get the memo, but in the four hours I was gone, neat piles of leaves appeared curbside. Mine is untouched, so I am temporarily out of compliance with the general neatness of the block. It’s dark, so I can’t rake now, unless I want to find myself in a padded cell somewhere, being tested for soundness of mind, so it looks like I will spend tomorrow morning raking.
I don’t know who decided nobody can keep leaves on the lawn in autumn. Left unattended, they degrade into a nice fertilizer for the grass. Forests don’t get raked, and they do just fine, but we spend weeks every season trying to stay ahead of the lemming-like mass leaf suicide.
Men rake or blow leaves; a popular commercial (for a law firm, no less) features a fellow with a super-sized pair of massive high-powered blowers with which he takes charge of his leaves in full bravado mode while a neighbor watches. It’s a control thing for men to have the most efficient blower.
I rake, and I have an adjustable rake with a lever that widens or narrows the prongs for optimal coverage. Leaves quake when I approach, and I go into full girl-power mode while the neighbors sleep in. Hey, I’m not a showgirl; I just go to them in the city once in a while for entertainment.
My lawn care guy has kept ahead of the leaves very well, considering he is still forced to work alone because of support employee issues. Still, I will get my front lawn looking naked so nobody will have an issue with the care of my front. We may have trees, but gosh gee, we don’t let them make a mess.
Once the warm weather returns in spring, we will have springtime droppings from those same trees, and nobody rakes or complains about them, so I’m guessing the cause of the discord is the fact that autumn leaves are dead, dry and subject to moving around during wind or rain, causing slippery conditions and unsightly detritus all over.
It seems we don’t even enjoy jumping in leaves anymore. We want them gone, so we rake them up for collection and admire our naked lawns with yellowing autumn grass feeling we have done our part.
I’d rather leaf them alone.
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