Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Monthly Archives: October 2021

    • Paws and Claws Clause

      Posted at 4:56 pm by kayewer, on October 30, 2021

      Two friends of mine just got a dog and a cat. One is allergic to cats and also owns a bird, so of course she is the one who got the dog. They live together like a half Golden Girls sitcom, sharing space and trying to make the current economy work for them. I visit them once a week and feel like the Dorothy Zbornak (played by Bea Arthur) of the group, and if I have any skills in identifying personality traits, I feel safe to say the one cast member we’re missing is Betty White’s Rose Nylund. We three are a feisty group.

      It seems that everybody is getting pets to fill voids during these crazy times, but I’m not sure if it would work for me. I did spend over a year with the office beta fish before handing him over to his owner at last. When our office closed down to work from home in March 2020, I was asked to take him home for a while, which turned into a longer stretch than anticipated. Finally we were both back in the building for clean-up at the same time, and the fish went home with her and a grateful young man anxious to tackle the responsibility of fish ownership.

      There are few places I visit regularly in which the people there don’t own pets, so I know plenty of animals, and I watch a lot of cat videos, which seem to outnumber dog videos for some reason. When I visit the new pet home this week, it will be the first time both have been in residence. The cat came in first, so the poor dog is probably having territory issues already, and the bird anxiety disorder. Fortunately the cat is not allowed in the bird’s room, and my allergic friend is unlikely to go around where the cat is. Somehow it will be organized chaos.

      Homes with animals usually are hectic because dogs get the zoomies (racing around at high speed in circles for nothing) and cats, when startled or frightened, simply teleport elsewhere at the speed of light. We may then spend the rest of the visit coaxing Moxie down from a high bookshelf or out from behind an immovable heavy piece of cabinetry.

      Fortunately many homes proudly decorate with signage to let you know, before entering the premises, that a dog or cat owner lives inside. Since we’re wearing mouth and nose coverings, we probably all look like potential burglars to a dog in a new home. Cats don’t care and simply walk away.

      One thing I excel at is getting pet treats. One particular top rated kitty treat is tube food. It’s a soft pasty concoction one can squeeze out to be licked at a maddening pace by felines suddenly seized by a compulsion similar to an addiction; they gobble this stuff up, and it isn’t cheap, as it comes in small packets and are charged by the ounce by the inventors who are raking in profits.

      Toys are fine for dogs, but cats often don’t care much for them unless they fulfill a specific need for that individual cat. The old adage “dogs have owners, cats have staff” is no more true here, and the staff is expected to work out to entertain the cat. Flicking feathers on strings around for a cat to jump at is all part of the commitment to owning a feline.

      The Golden Girls also had adventures with dogs and cats in a few episodes. But you never saw a dog bowl or litter box. If I settle how to handle that part of the deal, that’s when one or the other will find a new home with me.

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    • On Whose Authority?

      Posted at 5:04 pm by kayewer, on October 23, 2021

      Our lives are based upon beliefs. Everything we do starts as an idea which we build upon and adopt as a way to accomplish life’s tasks. Sometimes we simply go with what people around us believe, rather than formulate our own opinions. When we do decide on what path of belief to follow, even if it’s just whether to wash our face or brush our teeth first, we can be stubborn about what we believe in. Take, for example, when we go to the pizzeria and order specific toppings because that is what goes on pizza in our opinion, it’s what we have always put on pizza, and we tend to not deviate from what we believe is the way to order a pizza, we restrict ourselves by our need for a concrete principle (this is what goes on pizza).

      How strong is this stubbornness? When somebody posts on social media about pizza with anything else on it, people feel compelled to challenge it. Sometimes people reply, “That’s not what I order: I put this and that on pizza,” while other replies attack the individual for their choices: “What an idiot you are, when you know that was never designed to go on pizza.” The other tactic is to put down the concept, as in how cheese on pizza exploits the cows whose milk is stolen from them to make the cheese. I still haven’t figured out who originally put anchovies on pizza, and I have never known anybody to use them as a topping, but I don’t counter opinions on it or call somebody who would use anchovies an idiot. And quite frankly, I’m not sure if anchovy exploitation is a thing in the pizza industry. If I were like some of the upset masses out there, I would storm into the nearest chain pizza joint and demand they remove anchovies from the menu boards, but somebody I don’t even know probably wants them on their pizza, and I’m fine with that. If you don’t like them, that’s fine, too.

      It’s a shame to turn everything into confrontational cannon fodder, but our fears, anger and frustration over the past (nearly) two years has made all of us edgy, and we forget our manners. This is why we’re dealing with hyper Karens (and their male counterpart Darrens) with their sense of calmness gone out the window, and our teenagers trying ridiculous social media challenges to find some humor at the expense of others (and frequently causing injuries to classmates). We’re desperate for some sense of order so we can find solace in the certainty of believing in solid, proven ideas which are less vulnerable to challenge.

      Strangely enough, the very persons in authoritarian roles, who can best guide us with truth and logic, are being challenged by the hyper Karens and Darrens in our society, and panicked throngs are going mad with confusion because of all the unrest. The biggest challenge right now is to medical science. Suddenly the thousands of years into which men and women have pored over observations, experimented, calculated and saved countless lives through the use of pharmaceutical breakthroughs and groundbreaking technology have been downplayed by distrust and misinformation. Much of the misappropriated hearsay doesn’t even come from reliable scientific sources, but from soapbox speeches delivered by ordinary people with no background in the medical arts. The masses are trusting politicians over masters of medicine.

      When political figures become trusted to extol the virtues of snake oil, just because they say it works, and people believe that, we are truly going down a tunnel of doom. The people who know are those who have started at point A with the problem and seen it through to solution Z. They are the ones who work long hours to find out not what they believe, or what somebody wants them to believe, but what evidence-based studies lead them to conclude, and so they believe.

      I could type here that anchovies are the healthiest thing to put on pizza, but I haven’t a single qualification to do so; however, I could lead you to believe me by going down one of two paths. I could extol the virtues of eating fish, tell you how many anchovies are available to feed the entire world population, discuss their costs against other toppings like pepperoni and mushrooms, and I could color my presentation with lots of beautiful words, and you might want to believe that putting a little fish on a food which is not exactly soundly dietary would help it along. Or I could, instead, ask a foremost authority on fish to speak about what benefits an anchovy offers, in plain language, and more of you would be likely to think about the facts and believe them.

      It is always helpful to know from where a person is speaking; whether they are experienced in the subject matter, and can tell the truth without personal feelings getting in the way. It is how our Supreme Court operates, and medical science–solid, proven, medical science–also is done in this fashion. A politician is experienced in how to give convincing arguments and act as a bridge to settle disputes through their words, but without the MD by their names, they should not guess at how to deal with diseases.

      If you sit down and ask yourself what you believe and why, you may find some answers creeping in such as “that’s just how I do it,” or “I just know it’s that way.” That’s when it’s time to look deeper at who is helping you believe what you believe, and put something new on your pizza.

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    • All About Dials

      Posted at 4:36 pm by kayewer, on October 16, 2021

      The electric company switched out my meter this week. Gone is the good old familiar meter with dials and needles rotating merrily around, and in its place is an updated digital model. “You had an old model with only six digits,” the installer told me, “and now you have one that reads up to nine digits.”

      If I didn’t need nine digits one day, and then needed them the next day, should I wonder about that?

      It only took about three minutes to change the system, but it can seem like an uncomfortable time when you have no power while it’s going on. I had to tell my boss I’d be offline, and the entire house went silent for those three minutes, which is unusual except when I’m in bed sleeping and unaware if I snore.

      When modern replacements take the fun out of everyday life, I wonder why we have to improve things by making them so neutral and cold. Occasionally I think we all stopped to marvel at the meter dials and analog numbers with fascination. From now on, it probably won’t even draw my eye, with its digital numerals made up of brackish logs ending on a bias cut.

      Another dial in my house went on the fritz; it’s an old landline phone with a numeric dial, so it’s of little consequence, but I was reminded of its absence when I recently saw a video involving two modern teens who were tasked with attempting to use such a device to place a phone call. Just to show how dials are becoming extinct, the fellows had no clue how to use a rotary phone. To start, they have never dealt with picking up the receiver to achieve a dial tone. Then they didn’t understand what the finger stop was for and simply wiggled the holes some distance around and gawked at the inefficiency of it all.

      So our modern times seem to have reduced the word “dial” to a name for soap.

      When I had to undergo a procedure, the doctor gave me prep instructions which demanded I use Dial soap to wash prior to surgery. It’s supposed to be a deodorant soap, but it has a scent itself which I didn’t find pleasant. Nothing throws one’s game off more than a scent which lingers unwanted on your person for hours. I spent my recovery under the curse of Dial.

      Would those teenagers offered any sympathy?

      Eventually I will replace the old phone or, perhaps, get rid of it forever. My dials are dialing out.

      Does this mean my life is becoming so modernized, I can phone it in? With a cell phone?

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    • Appointment Reminder

      Posted at 9:45 pm by kayewer, on October 9, 2021

      Life is trying to return to normal, but apparently it’s not as easy as riding a bike. Trying to plan any event is an exercise in not only logistics–guest list, food, venue, coordinating one date–but public safety. Protecting the masses just so we can gather is something we will have to stumble through, and sometimes it’s a slow stumble. We have to get back into it as if we’ve all got brain fog, and not assume anything until we’re sure.

      Why? We’re having trouble with remembering how it’s all done, as well as finding out what is not done the same way as before. It’s not just what was, but what is.

      I went on my first trip to New York City in nearly two years, and just getting a morning bus was difficult. Instead of a generous schedule, only two morning departures made up the itinerary on a Saturday, when NYC wants people to come on up and get Broadway back in the black. The bus companies need to remember that some performances are earlier than 2:00. Mine was set for 1:00, and had I taken the later bus, I would have stood an eighty to ninety percent chance of not making it. Cabs were not as plentiful, and my walk was a good 45 minutes. This meant taking an early bus at an ungodly hour and killing a couple of hours in which the only things open were eateries serving breakfast and pharmacies. Ten thousand steps? Yes, got that done.

      Performances and even restaurants may have pre-admission checks in which you are asked to present proof you got your shot. Faces must be covered for the whole performance. I could unmask at Starbucks and use a table for my breakfast, which was a treat.

      In the city’s many blessedly open spaces, it was possible to unmask when crowds were not milling about. Most people were resigned to wearing protection pretty much everywhere, and nobody grumbled about it. I did encounter a Darren (guy Karen) at the bus terminal who was a bit miffed at missing his bus by minutes. That’s one thing you can count on: the busses are punctual to a fault. Be there or wait awhile.

      Doing something scheduled outside of working from home has been strange, but I felt good working it all out, following the new policies and being rewarded with an entertaining afternoon. We will see more of this as we start to fully emerge from isolation.

      And as we relearn how to use and fill up appointment books.

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    • The Whole Grain

      Posted at 5:08 pm by kayewer, on October 2, 2021

      With seeds or without seeds, double wrapped or single? Twist tie or one of those funny little tags with a slot in it? Looking for a new loaf of bread is not just about the product itself, but how it’s presented. I’m not totally sure if I shouldn’t just stick with the bread I have already been using.

      The choices are too many; even when you look at the selection other countries have, they’re blown away by how many different breads we have. I recently saw an article containing questions about whether we actually have entire supermarket aisles devoted to cereal, or if that’s just in the movies? I hate to tell them, but I think the bread aisle is second only to the cereal aisle; at the local Acme, one is two thirds of an aisle, and the other has the whole side to itself. That’s without even looking at the frozen food.

      The reason I’m looking at bread is that my doctor told me my carb and sugar intake needs adjusting. The bread I’ve been eating is 100 percent whole grain wheat and comes with an inner and outer wrapper for freshness. It also has seeds, which seems to be the thing to do today: decorate your bread.

      My first alternative was something called Dave’s Killer Bread. Reviews supposedly say it’s healthy. I found it a bit denser and seedier than my original choice. They have two varieties of seeded breads: “Good Seed” and one which boasts 21 grains. Unfortunately one cannot choose which grains to eat, so I suppose my body would just do it for me in my digestive tract. Also, I must remember that, if it contains poppy seeds, I should follow that old wives’ advice and not go for a drug test.

      I don’t see as much white bread on shelves lately, possibly due to supply and demand problems, or due to changing health concerns. When I was a kid, the two big breads were Wonder and Stroehmann’s. One featured colorful dots, and the other a kindly looking grandpa who seemed happy to spend endless hours standing watch over bread ovens.

      Those days are over. Since I became an undeniably senior adult, I even put my burgers on whole wheat buns. One time I couldn’t find any and bought brioche as a treat. You know you’re having a rough time when upgrading your hamburger bun excites you, but it did add to the experience.

      After finishing up Dave’s brand of bread, which didn’t kill me, I decided to scour the shelves for some more choices before I make up my mind. I have a list, thoughtfully compiled by medical sources, of healthy breads to try. To help move the process along, I also stocked up on peanut butter and am cooking up some spaghetti, which will require bread for dunking sauce (or gravy).

      The birds may also take to some killer leftovers.

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