Anything which is manufactured can, and usually will, succumb to time. I have that issue with a trash can right now. It didn’t start out as my problem, because my friend who recently moved brought it over to help haul yard debris out to the curb for collection, but she didn’t want it back.
It doesn’t really have a bottom, except for what could be duct taped together temporarily. It’s the kind of refuse container you keep around because it makes things easy to haul to the curb, but you use it as a last resort because it looks awful and its appearance by the other trash is rather embarrassing. It can’t be repurposed anymore.
So how do you trash a trash can?
If you write “TRASH” on it, how is that a note worthy of attention? Maybe you’re somebody who labels one can for trash and another for recycling. I was thinking about setting it on its side and writing “TAKE” on it, and waiting to see if it does indeed go out with the trash next pickup. Or will it go with the recycling?
I took a moment to look it up, and sure enough, the Internet gurus at a trash can website (honest to heck) says to invert the can and write “FOR DISPOSAL” on the side. If that isn’t heeded, simply chop it up and place the pieces in a trash bag for collection, they advise. A bit sneaky, but a great idea for somebody who has anger issues and nothing else to take it out upon. Or it might be good practice for the local slasher flick antihero. I wonder if, in the absence of the proper cutting tools, smashing it flat with a mallet would do?
Another issue with trash cans is the lids. Those thin toppers tend to wear out much faster than the cans they’re protecting. I have a few with worn spots and holes. Supposedly you can get replacement lids, but I’ve yet to find them in-store at any hardware retailer. Every lid is matched to a can in stock. Who wants to break up a set? You have to order replacement lids and have them shipped to the store for pick-up. What manufacturers really want, of course, is for you to order a whole new set. My problem is that the cans I have are outlasting my friend’s version.
And you want lids to match the cans. It’s all about visual appeal. One doesn’t want one’s neighbors to be disturbed by the sight of a mismatched pair of can and lid, like green and blue. Are you clutching your pearls? My plan is to first verify that I am buying the correct size, then I’ll place an order for coordinating lids.
I’m also planning to relocate my cans when they’re not on display by the curb. Guess that’s a makeover which requires no qualifications, as long as you know when to let go of a can and how to pair up the lids. Those qualifications I have.
And a mallet and a permanent marker.
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