I tried to replace a window shade today, and failed. It isn’t really my fault, except that things in my house have lasted so long I tend to forget that modernization calls for things to change in the long stretches between when I install or buy something and need to replace it. This always happens to my detriment.
The actual removal of the defective shade was not a problem at all, and the store had a replacement for me. The experienced sales associate cut it to perfection and boxed it up for me with professionalism and a smile. As I left the super mega chain store I thought to myself that I could redo the kitchen there next, replacing the shades which were desiccating fending off the hot afternoon sun.
Returning home, I got the new shade out of the package and, following the decently written instructions, hammered the cylinder with the peg end of the shade into place, then I began mounting the shade onto its new perch. That’s when I found the problem, and my dreams of a perfect DIY project died of sudden apoplexy.
It seems that in the years since the last new shades were installed, somebody in the window shade design council–consisting of a ruling class of business oriented dudes (and ladies like our aforementioned sales associate with the currently unfortunate name of Karen), whose word is law in the home improvement universe–decided that the peg which used to be a simple round pin should be changed into a larger square-like pin. My new shade would not fit into the old hardware.
From what I can see with my glasses and missing about a foot of added height (unless I want to hoist a ladder, which I’m not in a state of health to do), the screws holding in the old hardware are painted over but might yield to the proper application of a screwdriver and the patience of Job.
It’s either that, sheepishly ask my neighbor for help, or find a nice, non-psychotic handyman. All to replace a bleeping window shade. So I have a shade I can’t install and a bookshelf awaiting more stripping. So much for my aspirations as a fixer-upper. At least I can write.
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