Mother’s Day, for good or bad, is a recognition of the fact that we all have one. Many of us have a mother whom we fondly remember, and others would simply rather forget. Still, one had to exist for us to be here.
This year countless people will spend their first year without a mother to celebrate or forget. A certain disease took many away, while others passed from other ailments, accidents, intentional deprivation or simply the end of life’s internal clock.
For those of us who remember our mothers, we may look back to times when we received good advice and followed it, or hated ourselves for not taking it. If we had an epiphany in which we chose not to take any advice from our mothers, at least we did experience psychological growth and the ability to make a choice. If it wasn’t a good choice, we still got advice and learned from what we decided to do with it. It takes our mothers to move us forward, however we do so.
We live our lives without instructions written down on what to expect or how to proceed. Much of what we do is based either upon immediacy (do something/anything), or following a prior example (choose this idea or that). Traditional ways to raise children often come from prior examples, and sometimes we continue good and bad things we learned by what was done to us by our mothers. When we choose not to follow a tradition, we form a new one or break a cycle. The results of the decisions we make growing up or raising children who grow up under our care lead us to days like Mother’s Day, when we stop to reflect on how it worked or how we did.
I have nearly all good memories of how my mother raised me. I also came to the realization that, being human, we often don’t do a one hundred percent perfect good job. When we enter our adult lives we can choose to adore our mothers for the good they did and decide how we handle any less savory past actions. Having discussed good and bad mothers with others, there are plenty of stories out there, and some who tell these stories either do or don’t forgive. That can make a day like Mother’s Day rankle rather than soothe our childhood memories.
Forgiving is said to be a healing gesture for ourselves if not for those who need forgiving. If it’s hard to forgive, acknowledging can be a step in the right direction. Who knows how many people lost mothers this past year who will have a new way to look at the holiday this time. However we choose to think about the parent who bore us, taking the time to focus on what life has given us can help us make new decisions and decide what the next day will be like.
So here’s to all mothers. You brought us into the world, and we’re here because of you.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog 