Mother’s Day may not mean the same for everybody. Some people have no mother now (or never did), or those still living have fallen into the hellish tunnel of age-related mental decline and would not know one thing from another. Like many holidays, this is just one more that is the cause for dread. So many people have lost mothers to the pandemic this year, or won’t get to hug a mother because of distance restrictions, some years it might be a good idea to remember only as much as one can bear.
Those of us with issues have trouble explaining it to those who don’t. We all see pictures of June Cleaver perfect ladies with happily clean children and an admiring spouse, but women who have given birth to children may not all fit that mold. Our revolving standards of parenthood make it hard to appreciate every mother out there, especially if they have not been good enough human beings in the first place. Not every mother earns flowers, a card or dinner.
However, once we are separated from the link the womb provides, we are truly at the mercy of our world and what we do to affect what children experience in it. Whether a mother (or a surrogate) coddles or curses, we ultimately make the decisions that build our character. Often mothers do have a positive influence on children, if only to send us in the opposite direction, and we can celebrate that.
Those who had less-than-good parentage, maybe it’s good to just know who and what you are, and a woman began that journey for you.
If a mother is in failing health, remember that she had the health needed to do what brought you to this world. Moments matter, and when they stop mattering, they become part of your memories.
It’s bittersweet, but the sweet is in there if we look for it. Here’s to mothers.
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