Susan's Scribblings the Blog

Monthly Archives: February 2019

• Oscar the Slouch

  Posted at 2:50 am by kayewer, on February 24, 2019

  With the Academy Awards just a day away, everybody is getting excited. Awards events have a special degree of hype not found in sports, and even without team colors or hometown rivalries, people look forward to seeing what movies will win acclaim.

  I am a fan of author and columnist Lisa Scottoline, one of countless women who become a big melting pot of estrogen for Bradley Cooper, who is lined up to win something along with Lady Gaga for the umpteenth remake of A Star is Born. I picture her on the big Sunday night with fuzzy slippers on and cozy beverage at the elbow sitting in front of the big screen. I am planning on watching with a friend, and we decided on ice cream and cake (if I get it made), and maybe I’ll have a cup of tea. I’ll be watching for Black Panther to win Best Picture, which would be one of the most epic cinematic inclusive moves the Academy voters could make.

  A cozy chair is good no matter whom you are watching on Oscar night, because the ceremony tends to be lengthy and a bit boring at times. Sure there have been adrenaline moments such as when Jack Palance did one-armed push-ups, when Prince sang for an audience who seemed relieved to finally have a musical score without a hint of Broadway in it, or when Whoopie Goldberg appeared in various nominee-themed costumes as hostess and blew the viewers away.

  Oh, that’s right: we have no host this year. Or do we?

  Maybe the movies should be the host. Maybe Bradley Cooper as Rocket the Raccoon should be the host. Maybe Chadwick Bozeman should take the mike as Black Panther and host the show. No, not happening. Lisa’s slippers will be getting hot and sweaty and my cup of tea cold and dingy before that happens. There is decorum in these events, and one must have the proper host or none at all.

  Let’s just hope they don’t bore us out of enthusiasm for ever watching again.

  Over the past few months the folks running this glittery dog and pony show have attempted to update its image, even going so far as to suggest a popular picture category for movies which would not otherwise be considered for nomination because they are deemed too commercial. That was scrapped when commercial fandom got insulted.

  It’s bad enough that some movies are never considered while some that are never seen by the general public are lauded and given awards. Find me a movie which is attended by everybody, and that should be the best film of the year, because it brought us together for a common cause. Those “upper crust” movies keep classes isolated and do nothing for expanding the human condition.

  But standing on a soapbox every year has done nothing to help the campaign to get the voters on board. It may never happen. At least we have an excuse to snack again.

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• Let Your Mental Light Shine

  Posted at 2:28 am by kayewer, on February 17, 2019

  I like solar toys. They can become an obsession, so I don’t go overboard, but I do have over a dozen of them. Solar toys have been around for a while, and I just noticed something that says a lot about how inventions can evolve with time.

  Whoever first stuck a small solar panel onto a plastic base holding a hula girl shaking her hips or a jiggling arm-waving character surely must have patted themselves on the back. The little things can sell for only a dollar, but set in a window or under an office light, they can provide a harmless distraction from the doldrums of life. They wiggle and wave happily, stopping only when clouds form or the lights go out. Like us, they don’t feel much like being happy on dark days.

  The problem with solar toys has been in their initial design. It seems all the manufacturers have put the solar panel in front of the toy. This means that, if you put it in the window, the sun has to be able to bypass the object blocking the panel to activate its motion. This is why you often find solar toys set at an angle on a windowsill.

  Recently, however, I got hold of two toys in which the panel has been installed in the back of the object, allowing the toy to face forward into the room unimpeded by shadows.

  Whoever said, “Maybe we should put the panel in the back,” has probably seen his bosses slapping themselves on the forehead in a “d’oh” moment.

  So the older versions may become obsolete, but it doesn’t matter. They’re harmless fun, and you can see just what people enjoy watching by what types of toys they buy. Often they’re simply waving seasonal characters like snowmen or Easter bunnies, but I have a couple which came from Japan with round character heads which sway lazily and can threaten to put me to sleep. My first one I bought at Target, and it’s faded from being in the sun too long, but I love it, front panel and all.

  You’re looking them up on Amazon now, aren’t you? That’s okay: so am I. Might as well add to the collection, since I have the windowsill space to spare.

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• Bitter Sweet

  Posted at 2:40 am by kayewer, on February 10, 2019

  Valentine’s Day is considered a holiday for lovers, which is fine except when you don’t have a lover. It seems that holidays always exclude somebody for all the wrong reasons.  Everybody should be happy on a holiday.

  If you can’t be happy on the holiday, be happy on the day after. That’s when all the overpriced stuff that everybody emptied their wallets for gets marked down. For a day like Valentine’s Day, chocolates go on sale, so I thumb my nose at all the guys who didn’t treat me like a queen the day before, and I treat myself like one and save money as well.

  Love yourself, and others will love you, they say. I guess my perfect match didn’t get the memo. That’s okay. The divorce rate is still an issue in this country, as is domestic violence, so being eternally single can be a good thing.

  My big problem is with most of the chocolate on Valentine’s Day being milk instead of dark. Dark chocolate is supposed to be better for you, which is probably why there is so little of it available.  Vendors sometimes serve your addictions rather than your health.

  So on the day after the cards are read, the wine uncorked and the whoopee a memory, I’ll grab a little something and curl up with a good romantic novel. Or I’ll work on writing mine. Not sure which way it will go, but either way I’ll be content.

  Chocolate is for lovers.

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• Bowl Dozer

  Posted at 6:51 am by kayewer, on February 3, 2019

  I know a lot of people will be watching The Big Game. I never do. I belong to that elite group of abstainers who try to not jinx the playing teams. Last year the Philadelphia Eagles won, and the last time they made the finals I had watched and they lost. This year it doesn’t matter, since neither team is local enough to require blind sports loyalty from the region’s residents (live in this town, be this team’s fan).  I like to see a good game of football, regardless of who plays, but the Big Game seems to spoil it all because it is too big for itself.

  If you can’t even use the words Super anywhere near the word Bowl when discussing football in January and February, something is wrong with the world.

  A sporting event can become larger than life because of overhyped publicity. It costs millions of dollars just to place a commercial on the game. The amount of food consumed during a Big Game is amazing, and the number of post-game hangovers bad for daily businesses (it is expected that workers will call out sick on post-game Monday). My office has workers on Sunday, so I had to order wings and veggie platters. I won’t get any, as I have the day off. Another reason not to watch the game: no food.

  Then there are all the pre-game prep. Pre-game, pre-pre-game, the making of the pre-game and commentary enough to make into a miniseries. No wonder men don’t talk to women so much: they exhaust themselves all in one day.

  It will be hard to ignore, but it will all be over for another year. I’ll be tired just avoiding it all. In the end, one team will win, and I will not have jinxed them.

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