After noted chef Anthony Bourdain and designer Kate Spade committed suicide in the same week, the subject of ending one’s own life prematurely became a major topic. In times of societal polarity or change, public emotions tend to be edgier than usual, and not surprisingly the suicide rate goes up. At some point in our lives, we may say something like, “I wish I were dead right now,” when we don’t mean it, but some do.
Death does end everything. That is what some people want: an end to it all. When the idea of being forced to exist in a way contrary to one’s nature is unbearable, the choices are limited. One can remove the source of the forced suffering–either the thing itself or the person causing it, if possible–run away from it, regroup and try to change the situation if possible, or die so it is no longer a problem.
Suffering seems to be more a man-made condition than a divine or natural one, so it is up to man to resolve it. When it comes to people who cause suffering, we are more prone to not actively dealing with the issue because, after all, unless you walk in somebody’s shoes, do you feel you have the right to judge somebody’s actions? Better to give a chronic offender a chance to change his ways. That may be how abusive clerics were sent to other parishes: maybe the right place would eliminate the problem. It didn’t work very well. Schools expel bullies and they end up going to other schools, which doesn’t always end the problem if nobody punishes the behavior to redeem the person.
Of course it’s possible to go into a War and Peace-sized dialogue about why suffering causes suicide. The issue is how much pain a person can endure before breaking, and we often push the needle on the tolerance meter by making irresponsible choices which may make our lives easier but others’ worse. Look at all the electronic waste in India right now; a world of mercury poisoning and hazardous computer materials piling up around a nation of poor folk just because we don’t want to handle it. I recently read that China is turning down some of our cardboard waste because those lovely Amazon boxes are overwhelming the recycling efforts there, and values are down.
The suicidal are tired of pursuing happiness and are looking for peace instead. We need to open up to new ideas and stop saying “not me” or NIMBY (“not in my back yard”) and make the world our yard where we can throw a big social get-together and make some changes to really change the way we see our lives. The glass is not half empty or half full: it has some water in it, and that is a start to making things better.
(If you or somebody you know has thoughts of suicide, the Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255 and is available 24 hours a day).
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