Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Monthly Archives: October 2017

    • Holiday Creeps?

      Posted at 3:20 am by kayewer, on October 29, 2017

      The new term for Christmas showing up in stores as early as September or October is Christmas creep, as in it creeps in and invades before anybody can stop it. And we really must stop this madness.

      I’m no Scrooge, but there is jump-starting the holidays and there is going a bit too far too soon. Stores have emptying shelves of pumpkins and Wonder Woman costumes, while a shelf or two has turkey themed merchandise, and the real space is saved for inflatables and cards and decor galore. Ho ho oh no!

      One major store promised they would not advertise Christmas early, then backpedaled and said they would put nothing on the outside of the store, while prep was already going on inside.

      Dare I go into the details about how celebrating the most phenomenal birthday in human history has been conveniently moved to December 25? Dare I bring up the fact that commercialism and church are not really a pair, and yet we tend to do both only because of this date? Do I risk the ire of many by bringing up the fact that more people likely celebrate another December festivity rather than a Christian one, and yet somehow we always manage to stand on our personal beliefs like clouds of superiority and make others feel bad, while at the same time making ourselves look crass.

      If Christmas became more of a holiday for giving of ourselves, rather than a retail nightmare–more like the wise men who honored goodness by bringing things they apparently had made or earned themselves–maybe stores would devote more than November and December to providing things we really need, and less of the junk that is forgotten within a week of its coming out of the wrappers.

      Maybe the Christmas creep is who we see in our own mirrors.

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    • Raise Your Brow

      Posted at 2:22 am by kayewer, on October 22, 2017

      I recently discovered one of the many funny little things about aging; I’m getting eyebrows like Andy Rooney. If you recall the late CBS 60 Minutes curmudgeon, he had brow hairs he could have donated to a dozen needy over-plucked people. They were not a bad thing in any way; they actually gave him character. However, I don’t think he got his one brow hair at a time like me.

      My schedule has left little time for up close and personal minutes in front of a cosmetic mirror, but I recently bought a magnifying mirror because it promises 15 times magnification. This means that you can see things you don’t want to see, like an eyebrow hair which suddenly grew out of control, is a good quarter-incher, white and right in the middle of my otherwise dark blonde sculptured sideways parenthesis.

      Those new grey hair covering sprays probably would not work on such a hair. Neither would an eyebrow pencil. I felled it with scissors, which means it will be back, and I guess I have to deal with having Andy Rooney brows. At least I won’t look like another highbrow eyebrow dude from the movie Dune named Thufir Hawat.

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    • Take My Knee, Please

      Posted at 2:45 am by kayewer, on October 15, 2017

      I have an unlucky knee. I may not be left-handed–though I can use both hands for some things, which can be creepy (and another topic)–but I am left-kneed. Over the course of my lifetime I have had more left knee scrapes, bumps and bruises than I can count. One time I got an infection in my left foot, probably because it was jealous of my knee. This week I got scrape number one jillion and one.

      It’s right over an old scrape, too, which I got two years ago. That one took some time to heal, but now it’s probably ready to throw in the towel and stay injured. Our skin is supposedly our largest organ, and we mess with it all the time. We stick jewelry in it, shoot colored ink into it, slather goop on it, dry it out, get it wet, overuse it, cover it up one season and hide it the next. It’s little wonder we get so tired in our old age: it isn’t the inside that goes on strike, but the outside.

      Of course we get afflictions like psoriasis, acne, and such. We get skin cancer. We get sunburn and windburn. Yet our skin is our armor, the enrobement that makes us what we are. We should be more careful with it.

      Aging, of course, does not help matters, particularly in the knee region. At what point in our growth does genetics say that we should lose the padding that helps as as kids to kneel on the sidewalk to check out a bug or play a game? Suddenly it hurts to take a knee, whether we’re in church or on a football field protesting during our national anthem.  That’s one thing I find interesting: that those burly football players are probably sore when they do that. You would think that would encourage them to stand and do some other protest action. After the song is over.

      So off I went to the pharmacy to buy ultra large bandages to put on my gross, leaky, bruised knee. No matter how many boxes of those medicine chest staples you buy, you never have the size you need for the job. Unless you make like a roofer and try to piece together twenty junior sized ones into a big patchwork one.

      Back in my days as a dancer, I had knee pads for cushioning during jazz routines. i wish I had them now. Of course, they don’t go with work attire, but maybe I can go another year or two without another disaster. I’m sure my knees are begging on their. . .whatever. . .begging me to play it safe. Ain’t happening. I have some years left on both knees, so next time I’ll try to lean toward the right one and alter the course of history. That would be the bee’s knees.

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    • Jawing About Jawn

      Posted at 3:12 am by kayewer, on October 8, 2017

      So the term “jawn” has been officially considered to be added to the dictionary. It’s a term common in Philadelphia and parts of eastern PA, and defined as something, or several things, which one cannot put a specific name to. I don’t really think we have run out of nouns, but we are developing so many new things that it’s hard to get the word out to everybody at once. If you don’t know what it is, it’s jawn.

      Whatever happened to whatchamacallit or thingamabob , or doohickey? I guess they are just so yesterday as to be out of style today. I have yet to see something to which I would say, “What is that jawn?” Or maybe I’m not getting it right.

      I recently read about the exciting lives of people who work in the offices of dictionary researchers. They don’t socialize much: they simply contemplate the purest meaning of words for 40 hours a week. A stranger entering that workplace would probably ask, “What’s this jawn about?” The answer would be, “Shh!”

      Well, enough about jawn. I promise to have something more defined to say next week.

       

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    • Inferior Design

      Posted at 1:04 am by kayewer, on October 2, 2017

      I’m working on retooling the blog, which is kind of like redecorating the home, only this is autumn instead of spring, so it’s a bit harder to do.

      For an expert, no big deal: just click this, tell the system to do that, and done. For somebody like me who is in the computer geek zone somewhere between somebody who doesn’t quite know enough to one who just got sat in front of a screen after they were in the woods for 20 years raised by wolves. At least I can figure out what I don’t know. If I were raised by wolves, I’d hide behind the sofa.

      Sure there are books out there, with titles like “Total Idiots’ Guide to Embarrassing Yourself on the Web,” but if I can’t even read books by my favorite authors, how am I going to read one of those? The process takes hours, so I’m tackling it one hour at a time. In case nobody has noticed, one hour doesn’t seem as long as it used to. I think the universe is speeding up, and we’re still trying to run on a 24-hour clock.

      The important thing is to keep at it and not give up. I don’t quit anything, but I may not get the courage to revisit the situation right away. It may take an extra day or two. I’m trying to figure out how I want the site to look, which is like picking paint.

      If you are a commercial watcher, you may recall an ad in which a woman has a myriad of blue smears on her wall as she tries to figure out which one works the best. That’s kind of what I’m doing. Maybe I should look at it again at dawn; if the page design jolts me awake before I get my eyes truly open, it’s too garish. If it puts me back to sleep, it’s too boring.

      At least I don’t have to worry about getting new furniture to match the new paint.

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