I was in one of our small towns this morning and needed to find a parking space. The street has no meters, and the main strip has about two dozen spots into which one can parallel park. The only problem was that the number of spaces was lessened by four; two jerks took up half of two spaces. The only cars that could have squeezed in would be one of those cute little Smart cars.
That’s why they’re called that: people probably buy them knowing they can override a jerk’s lack of spacial acuity and get into a tight parking space. That’s smart.
I remember learning how to parallel park in high school during driver training. I don’t know if schools have them anymore; they may have gone out of style with home economics, physical education and most aspects of the arts programs, but we did learn it. When I went to take the driving test, the street on which I had to prove my parking skills was wider than I expected, which changed my sight lines for backing in, and it had no marked spaces but cones. I got between the cones just fine, but I was too far from the curb to pass. Not to worry, though, since for my second attempt I had a fresh instructor and a different street (and the fellow who flunked me had also tested and flunked a half dozen of the remedial testers ahead of me and had to bypass us all).
Of course a lot of driving experience has me parking like a pro, though some people never quite get the knack for it. Still, one should check before leaving a vehicle out of bounds on a street where parking is at a premium but costs are not. Small businesses need all the cars coming in that they can get. This one has a nice bakery, a florist, a deli, a few nice salons and a new restaurant coming in soon. That may make parking even more difficult.
In my fantasy world of perfection, I would’ve had a dozen weightlifters at my beck and call who could lift and move those two jerks’ vehicles into the proper spots so I could have pulled in. Since that didn’t happen, I parked on a side street and mumbled under my breath a lot about people who don’t have Smart cars and aren’t smart behind the wheel.