Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Monthly Archives: March 2016

    • Through the Mouth

      Posted at 1:42 am by kayewer, on March 27, 2016

      Commercials sometimes annoy me. One in particular irks me every time it appears on television. The folks at Breathe Right®, the inventor of the nasal strip, features a commercial (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJAcDq_IxBcin) which they discuss what happens when your nose is obstructed and you are forced to become a mouth breather to compensate for the lack of open passageways. The newest clip on television includes a daughter video recording her stuffy-nosed mother, presumably for future shaming on social media. A cat appears to look on with contempt–well, maybe that isn’t so unusual–at its human in the same situation, stuck with his mouth open to breathe. “How can anyone sleep like that?” the voice-over lady asks. How, I ask, does anybody not breathe while sleeping?

      So when did breathing through one’s mouth become unpopular? Culturally the term “mouth breather” is often used as an insult to imply that somebody is less intelligent. Why is that, when air can get to the lungs, and oxygenate the brain, quicker by inches that way? I find it contemptible when somebody snorts or whistles through their noses, but I don’t shout “Nose whistler!” at them.

      So there is plenty of information out there about the causes of mouth breathing unrelated to allergies or colds, including reports from periodontists who claim that improper jaw or tooth alignment can affect closing your mouth properly. Other causes include large tonsils, a deviated septum (think anybody who has broken the nose) or nasal polyps.

      Nobody ever mentions that some people have a jungle of nose hair in their nostrils, which surely slows down normal breathing, and the folks at Breathe Right® have never tried to invent a nose hair machete. If they ever remake the 1966 science fiction thriller The Fantastic Voyage, it should still be about a crew of miniaturized scientists who are injected into a person to reach and treat a dangerous life-threatening condition, but instead of exiting the patient’s eye, they must chop their way out through the nose hair jungle.

      The idea behind the nasal strip is that a metal piece adhering to the outside of the nose spreads the outer edges of the nostrils to clear the airway. I actually tried the product once when I had a bad cold. The next morning, the strip was not on my nose, so a search party was called out and it ultimately turned up perched on the outer rim of the wastebasket. So it seems it didn’t keep my nose open, but it flew gracefully through the air and nearly stuck the landing.

      Sports figures tend to wear the nasal strips; sometimes they are color coded to match the team colors of those burly football players. If you’re the fashionable tight end, you want the right color strip on your nose. You can even get lavender scented strips, but since it is above your nose, and you have a cold, can you really smell it?

      I don’t know if mouth breathing is really as bad as they claim in the commercials, but I feel there are better ways to tout a nostril aid than making fun of its users. So when the ad comes on I simply sigh, through my mouth, and exhale through my nose.

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    • Pop-Ups

      Posted at 5:49 am by kayewer, on March 17, 2016

      So I discovered something on YouTube that I have to share. If you avoid shows like Grey’s Anatomy or Code Black like the plague, it is probably  not the channel for you, but apparently for tons of viewers, it’s good stuff. It’s also known as  pimple p*rn.

      Dr. Sandra Lee, also known as Dr. Pimple Popper (drpimplepopper.com), performs dermatological procedures on consenting patients  and films the results for informational purposes for other doctors in the skin industry. It also turns out that watching acne and other skin problems being nipped in the bud is enjoyable for the average person, and some of the videos have over a million views.  This is educational surgical sebum shenanigans that come in two main categories: blackheads and whiteheads that are called “soft pops,” and benign lumps and such which are called “hard pops.” Dr. Lee has appeared on the daytime show The Doctors with some of her “greatest hits,” and though the audience often says a collective “Ewwww,” they can’t look away. I learned about the channel in a weekend newspaper article, and after watching a video I admit it’s got an attraction to it.

      If you have ever (or deny having ever) had acne, you know to some extent what it is like to try to exorcise one of those demonic date-ruining suckers from your flesh. Doctors don’t recommend squeezing acne yourself because of the risk or infection, but we do anyway. This is a look at some people who are not you at your cosmetic worst, getting zits and lipomas (those benign lumps I mentioned) taken out by a professional. Dr. Lee always asks the patient to make sure they feel nothing once the local anesthetic kicks in. She  uses a special extraction tool for the blackheads and such, and sometimes a punch tool (yes it does what it says) or a scalpel  to open up larger growths. The fun views are usually of blackheads which emerge in long curlicues, and the patients sometimes have so many, they look as if their torsos need daily shaving from chronic five o-clock shadow. The other videos show cysts which resemble seed pods or tubes as they get chased out of their follicular abodes. Some exit quietly, while others ooze massively as if a floodgate has been opened. Grossed out yet?

      These videos give “what lies underneath” a whole new meaning. Imagine a follicle of your skin being invaded by fluids native to your body but not co-existing well at the time. Sometimes acne runs deep, and excision is quite a relief. Having had acne through most of my life until I found what worked for me to prevent it, I can relate to these patients and the sense of closure that comes from saying goodbye to an acne invasion. It’s interesting to watch and learn what can happen when body oils go outlaw. But then I reach for a warm cloth and some cleanser and sigh with relief that Dr. Lee won’t be filming me anytime soon.

       

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      Posted in Commentary | 0 Comments | Tagged Dr. Pimple Popper, pimple popper, pimples, Sandra Lee
    • Pause REM

      Posted at 3:44 am by kayewer, on March 13, 2016

      Adult life is complex, and often we put our own dreams on hold so others can benefit from what we are willing to offer them. Usually before I go to sleep I think about what dreams I still have unfulfilled, and boy is it a list.

      Some people call those unfulfilled dreams parts of a bucket list (named for things to do before one kicks the bucket). Really they are simply the carrots in front of our noses which keep us going when everything in life is making us want to stop. We live, breathe and die working to fulfill those dreams, often for years. That’s an awfully long time to chase a darned carrot.

      Of course some dreams like completing medical school do take years, but the end product is personal enlightenment, humanitarian self sacrifice and some financial security, sleepless nights, chapped hands and a fried brain. Dreams like meeting a celebrity before you die can involve a burly 300-pound bodyguard and possible personal injury. Still, we hang on tenaciously to our dreams, because while they are unrealized, they still have the element of mystery and promise of happiness lingering on the thought of them.

      There are charities like Make a Wish Foundation designed to help children fulfill bucket lists in a very short time frame, usually because they have a condition which will claim their lives long before graduation from high school, let alone medical school. For the rest of us, we continue to put dreams on hold and carry on with life as it is in the present.

      It was the fictional George Bailey, portrayed by James Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life, whose dreams to travel and build were put on hold for the town, his neighbors and his family. In giving up the dreams on his bucket list, George actually found himself. Not all dreams are guaranteed to either help you find or lose yourself, but for now, just remember them before you go to sleep at night; who knows what will happen tomorrow morning.

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    • A Gutsy Disease

      Posted at 3:16 am by kayewer, on March 7, 2016

      There was a stomach virus going around our office recently. Actually it may be all around South Jersey, Delaware and parts of Philadelphia, but I digress. Whenever one gets sick in the abdominal region, it’s never a good sign.

      I was certain I got sick from bad hamburgers at a popular joint whose name I’ll not mention because I sent them a complaint and want to see how they handle it. However, with many gastrointestinal events there are always the embarrassment of ailments which I also won’t mention because they’re just too gross. Stomachaches are no picnic.

      The problem with being in an office environment with other people is that not everybody graduated the school of good hygiene. That is how we get sick, either from poor food preparation or a bug somebody who didn’t wash their hands just passed onto a surface 200 other people are going to touch.

      So while I have recovered from whatever affected me, it’s going to go around for awhile longer, so keep your antibac handy, folks.

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