On Valentine’s Day not everybody has found somebody. I have so many friends who are perpetually lonely, this time of year can be a strain on the morale. There is really nothing wrong with people who are living without love; the problem is with the other people out there who apparently are incapable of love.
I would rather feel unworthy of love than be incapable of love.
People who live without love have their skins, minds and souls hardened every day by those incapable of love. The stings of physical, verbal or mental abuse often become as much a part of life as breathing. I’ve written before about the people who are so stunned by a dog who, after ages of abuse, strikes out at the next abuser to come along. That’s a fear response, and it can happen to anybody at any time, even among those hardened to the cruelties of this world. What is really amazing is when an abused dog licks the outstretched hand of its rescuers. This is a creature who was lost to love and still knows what love is.
Life will often find a companion for the lonely if circumstances allow. Often the powerful, most of whom are incapable of real love, repress the lonely. It might be a fear of somebody else’s happiness eclipsing their own, or a conditioned reaction to anything beyond their perception of normal. It’s against nature to deny love and, if I dare to be political, it is against our founding fathers’ wishes that anybody should be prevented from pursuing happiness.
I’ve seen my share of bullies, jerks and other people who seem challenged by the good things in life. I’ve seen beautiful miserable people and ugly happy people. Being loved is not about who or what you are, but that one other person sees you and respects your humanity in spite of what or who you are. I’ve been disappointed by lots of people, but I don’t hate them or wish them ill will. They need to be loved the most, because it is so much harder to do.
It’s true: love is hard, just like anything good and right is hard. So those who are spending their Valentine’s Day unloved are the ones you should seek out. They are capable of so much, while people incapable of love shortchange their lives of so much more.
So here is to all those lonely people on February 14th. I see you. I hope somebody special will see you someday, too.
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