It’s not unusual for movie franchises to try any marketing means possible to hype the upcoming feature, but if I see Star Wars: The Force Awakens toilet paper, I’m turning in my lightsaber.
Not that this revival is a bad thing. The movies have been great (with a few flaws here and there, like dialogue that sounded like it was short a few rewrites, or some bad character traits assigned to Jar Jar Binks), and in general the products associated with the series have been exciting. But the volume of stuff out there this time–everything from panini presses to gummy snacks to Darth Vader holiday inflatables to remote control droids to bottle openers–puts quite a burden on this film to be spectacular. How can it match up to the hype?
Our glorification of movie culture puts us in a realm in which our brains go into hyperdrive over a successful outcome or we lose lightspeed if the movie shortchanges us in any measurable way. Excuse the metaphors, but We are all anticipating endless lines of moviegoers with adrenaline levels amped to impossible levels on December 18. This thing had better rock.
Imagine what it would be like to be a merchandiser stuck with tons of products nobody wants to buy? Or imagine running out on the 19th with five shopping days left to go? Whoever picked the Friday before Christmas had to be lacking that first cup of Mos Eisley Cantina joy juice. We can handle big movies in May, like in past Star Wars movies; the holiday season is just like coating a lollipop in sugar.
And yet, my entire office is apparently immune to Star Wars. When it was suggested for a holiday theme party, even the crickets were stunned into silence. I guess that’s the polarity of human existence; you’re in totally or out completely when it comes to a trend. I’ve been ignoring the stuff, because I’m downsizing and can’t find room for a Yoda action figure, but it certainly does make for an interesting trip through the stores. Have you actually seen the adult Vader footie pajamas in the men’s department?
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