Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Monthly Archives: December 2015

    • Year in Revi-EWWWW

      Posted at 2:30 am by kayewer, on December 27, 2015

      2015 sucked. Some people had nice things happen to them, of course, but there was so much lousy weather, terrorism, politics and other varieties of tripe out there, I have heard from practically everybody–and said to myself–that I’m glad the year is coming to an end.

      My favorite actor, Christopher Lee, passed away over the summer after a long and well distinguished career. I first got to know him from his groundbreaking (for the 1950s) portrayal of Dracula, as did many fans, but his body of work included historical figures such as Jinnah (founder of modern Pakistan), and major roles in (to name a few) Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. He even dabbled in heavy metal music at an age when most people cozy up to Lawrence Welk.

      I gave myself the present of a banged up kneecap for my birthday when I decided not to step over a crack in the sidewalk. At least it wasn’t as bad as banging my head and spending weeks with a black eye like a did a couple years ago.

      Hershey has apparently decided to discontinue York Pieces (the peppermint and dark chocolate variety). Also, I’ve found lately that Lean Cuisine is recommending that you not prepare their meals in a conventional oven. You’ll microwave everything and like it. Not this chick. I’ve gone this long without a microwave, so you’re out a customer.

      I had two pieces of equipment at home which failed because of burned out solenoids. I’d like to know who created solenoids and tell them that they need to go back to the drawing board and come up with a better version.

      On the good side, I discovered Scrub Daddy, found a new designer for clothes, rejected about 99 percent of bra companies because they don’t use common sense when designing their products, and read off my car’s manufacturer because they can’t put a transmission mechanic on duty on the weekends.

      I was happy to see so much public exposure to bullying awareness. When I was in school, nobody cared if you were bullied, and nobody looks into the aftermath when victims leave the school environment. I’m also happy to see that most people don’t automatically think of an ethnic or religious group as being all this or mostly that. Especially when it comes to current Muslim relations, it’s smart to know that about 98 percent of them are just fine, and really we’re concerned about the two percent who might be radical enough to want to kill everybody. Heck, there are radical Christians and Jews out there, too (not to mention those radical agnostics down the block), but nobody pays attention to them.

      On the other hand, we had twelve hours of power outages this past summer, so I had to evacuate and restock the fridge twice. We were lucky, though; one town was without power for nine days.

      We had a polar vortex last winter. I remember the days when weather forecasting was cut-out clouds on a paper map and guesswork; now the newscasts have meteorologists and can see Armageddon coming days in advance.

      I discovered Game of Thrones and am now watching Breaking Bad. Got to do something while waiting to find out what happened to Jon Snow in the spring.

      Halloween saw sixteen trick-or-treaters. That was better than the nine the previous year.

      Yes, these are the little things that make up a year. We’ll have more–both good and bad–just like them next year. Maybe things will be a little better or not quite so depressing. We just have to go through it and make things happen.

       

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    • Holiday Switches

      Posted at 2:32 am by kayewer, on December 20, 2015

      Instead of sharing what I want for Christmas, I’m going to change it up a bit and go over things I do not want.

      For example, I don’t want to see another movie trailer featuring somebody jumping into a void and landing on a convenient creature or transport just in time to avoid splatting. I know I’ve probably mentioned it before, so it was old at least a year ago, and now is likely as exciting as a 2010 fruitcake. When I went to see Star Wars Ep. VII last night, there were at least three of them, so it’s fresh in my mind.

      I don’t want to hear griping about how we greet people all December. Heck, if you don’t know what somebody celebrates, what is wrong with just saying, “Enjoy the holiday.”

      I don’t want to hear complaints about leftovers. They often taste better than the original serving, because they have had time to absorb flavors. Besides, I have a little pet peeve about people who waste food.

      I don’t want everybody to start conducting everyday life starting at 9:00 AM on Monday, January 4. If a place with whom you do business has a 24-hour phone line, call them on Saturday or Sunday and give the contact center personnel something meaningful to do. Otherwise they’ll launch into the holiday leftovers and gain ten more pounds.

      I don’t want to start a diet on January 1. I’ll start mine after I’ve cleared up all the holiday food.

      I don’t want school students to go back to class with their brains only partially operational. Go over things the night before and get a decent night of sleep. Don’t forget to eat breakfast.

      I don’t want to keep playing the same *#@! game on TapTiles (Foundation game 7) that I’ve been trying to win for two years. Cut me a break, guys; you’re killing me.

      I don’t want Morgana in Bubble Witch 2 Saga to laugh at me. She just comes off as a bit too cocky.

      I don’t want any of the current presidential candidates: I prefer a do-over.

      I don’t want to go into Target on Saturday after Christmas and see Valentine’s Day displays going up.

      I don’t want to spend any more than about a fifth of my blog posts griping about things. I guess that makes this my New Year’s resolution.

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    • Movie Night

      Posted at 3:07 am by kayewer, on December 13, 2015

      I go to the movies with a friend whenever a good one comes around. Often it’s opening night, but last night we went to The Peanuts Movie, which has been open for weeks, and there were about ten of us in attendance. Our record is two: yes, just us (we went to a Wednesday Fathom Events encore Met Opera screening of Carmen in a teeming rainstorm). I don’t know which is better: suffocating crowds or the spacious racket of crickets chirping.

      A theater full of fans can be like an asylum full of patients on good drugs; a happy kind of chaos fills the space with anticipating humans jacked up on publicity hype and fountain soda. It’s a world in which lines at the concessions are endless and the preview trailers are deliberate torture meant to delay the main event. I’m seeing Star Wars next weekend, so I know I should find a parking space about eight hours before showtime, consume no food or beverages after noon and wear comfortable shoes.

      A movie past its premiere shelf life, on the other hand, is a much more intimate event, usually filled with people who are undergoing their second or third viewing, folks who hate the chaos of a packed theater or those who finally got a sitter and a day with no appointments or must-see shows on cable.

      This was a family movie (and if you want a recommendation, a must-see), but the screening was 9:00. What happened to kids being in bed by that hour? But then again, there were no kids in this theater; just a few nostalgic adults who wanted to see what was done to bring a comic strip to life in computer-generated depth.

      Next week there will be such a conglomeration of seventies and eighties Star Wars buffs of a certain age with their kids in (occasionally unwilling) tow, along with cosplay factions of Dark and Good Side Jedi and Sith milling around, I’m afraid I won’t know where to sit. Perhaps on one side close to the exits in case a light saber fight breaks out. Maybe I should make it comfortable steel toe shoes.

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    • Bantha Fodder

      Posted at 2:48 am by kayewer, on December 6, 2015

      It’s not unusual for movie franchises to try any marketing means possible to hype the upcoming feature, but if I see Star Wars: The Force Awakens toilet paper, I’m turning in my lightsaber.

      Not that this revival is a bad thing. The movies have been great (with a few flaws here and there, like dialogue that sounded like it was short a few rewrites, or some bad character traits assigned to Jar Jar Binks), and in general the products associated with the series have been exciting. But the volume of stuff out there this time–everything from panini presses to gummy snacks to Darth Vader holiday inflatables to remote control droids to bottle openers–puts quite a burden on this film to be spectacular. How can it match up to the hype?

      Our glorification of movie culture puts us in a realm in which our brains go into hyperdrive over a successful outcome or we lose lightspeed if the movie shortchanges us in any measurable way. Excuse the metaphors, but We are all anticipating endless lines of moviegoers with adrenaline levels amped to impossible levels on December 18. This thing had better rock.

      Imagine what it would be like to be a merchandiser stuck with tons of products nobody wants to buy? Or imagine running out on the 19th with five shopping days left to go? Whoever picked the Friday before Christmas had to be lacking that first cup of Mos Eisley Cantina joy juice. We can handle big movies in May, like in past Star Wars movies; the holiday season is just like coating a lollipop in sugar.

      And yet, my entire office is apparently immune to Star Wars. When it was suggested for a holiday theme party, even the crickets were stunned into silence. I guess that’s the polarity of human existence; you’re in totally or out completely when it comes to a trend. I’ve been ignoring the stuff, because I’m downsizing and can’t find room for a Yoda action figure, but it certainly does make for an interesting trip through the stores. Have you actually seen the adult Vader footie pajamas in the men’s department?

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