While watching an “On Demand” program, I was subjected to an ad for Viagra® about a dozen times. It’s amazing what you learn by visually dissecting a commercial. You can only go to the fridge or the bathroom so many times when inundated with the same three or four commercial breaks (when it’s a smaller network, it’s even worse).
So a rather pleasant looking young lady (Kelly Hu) is perched on a bed in what looks like a couples retreat, and she begins by setting up a scenario about things being “just right.” Then she mentions that over half of men have some form of erectile dysfunction. The source, revealed in smaller type at the bottom of the screen, says a Massachusetts male aging study found 52% of 1,290 respondents claimed it just wasn’t as easy to get their altar ego’s attention at that “just right” moment. If you’ve been with one of those poor men on the 52% side, hopefully cuddling on the couch or endearing pillow talk still works for you.
As the usual barrage of medical disclaimers comes in voiceover, another little footnote says Viagra® takes a half- to a full hour to take effect. So encourage your partner to take it when he is about 35 minutes away. With any luck, he carries a water bottle with him. And nobody notices that trademark little shaped pill when he downs it in public.
Also, one cannot be taking nitrates for chest pain, because your blood pressure may go down (and your altar ego will definitely stay down if that happens). You can also get other mood-blowing side effects such as a headache, vision problems, flushing and upset stomach. So you’re ready to roll, but you can’t see where you’re going and it’s you who has the headache.
The most hilarious caveat comes next: if you want Mr. Happy to stay healthy, don’t walk around doing an impression of a coat rack for more than four hours. In medical terms, this is known as priapism, after a Greek god who was perpetually ready to go and probably had 1,290 women who either loved him (50%) or fled for their lives (52%) whenever he drew near.
The next little footnote prompts viewers to “See our ad in Golf Digest.” I suppose if Viagra® is not for the man in your life, he can yell “Fore” on the greens and forego the foreplay.
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