Susan's Scribblings the Blog

Monthly Archives: May 2015

• Blue Pill Blatherings

  Posted at 2:57 am by kayewer, on May 31, 2015

  While watching an “On Demand” program, I was subjected to an ad for Viagra® about a dozen times. It’s amazing what you learn by visually dissecting a commercial. You can only go to the fridge or the bathroom so many times when inundated with the same three or four commercial breaks (when it’s a smaller network, it’s even worse).

  So a rather pleasant looking young lady (Kelly Hu) is perched on a bed in what looks like a couples retreat, and she begins by setting up a scenario about things being “just right.” Then she mentions that  over half of men have some form of erectile dysfunction. The source, revealed in smaller type at the bottom of the screen, says a Massachusetts male aging study found 52% of 1,290 respondents claimed it just wasn’t as easy to get their altar ego’s attention at that “just right” moment. If you’ve been with one of those poor men on the 52% side, hopefully cuddling on the couch or endearing pillow talk still works for you.

  As the usual barrage of medical disclaimers comes in voiceover, another little footnote says Viagra® takes a half- to a full hour to take effect. So encourage your partner to take it when he is about 35 minutes away. With any luck, he carries a water bottle with him. And nobody notices that trademark little shaped pill when he downs it in public.

  Also, one cannot be taking nitrates for chest pain, because your blood pressure may go down (and your altar ego will definitely stay down if that happens). You can also get other mood-blowing side effects such as a headache, vision problems, flushing and upset stomach. So you’re ready to roll, but you can’t see where you’re going and it’s you who has the headache.

  The most hilarious caveat comes next: if you want Mr. Happy to stay healthy, don’t walk around doing an impression of a coat rack for more than four hours. In medical terms, this is known as priapism, after a Greek god who was perpetually ready to go and probably had 1,290 women who either loved him (50%) or fled for their lives (52%) whenever he drew near.

  The next little footnote prompts viewers to “See our ad in Golf Digest.” I suppose if Viagra® is not for the man in your life, he can yell “Fore” on the greens and forego the foreplay.

  Like Loading...
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged viagra

• Bloom and Grow Forever

  Posted at 12:50 am by kayewer, on May 24, 2015

  We don’t often stop to appreciate nature’s gifts of plants, flowers and trees. They’re all around us, and we don’t always notice them until they interfere with us or we with them. Some trees have grown for ages and have outlived generations. On my block only a few trees are left, but on a smaller scale there are smaller milestones right in the neighborhood. An old friend who lived on my block until 1980 had prized roses around the outside of the house. The new owner has kept them up since then, and the other day she brought some over for my mother.

  They are the most beautiful and fragrant roses, and their scent takes me back 35 years with every breath.

  Sometimes it’s not the best idea to rip out all the landscaping and start again; some things are best left to their own way of life, like roses and trees. They aren’t a roadblock to progress, but markers of where life has been and will go on.

  Like Loading...
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments

• Taking a Tech Vacation

  Posted at 2:54 am by kayewer, on May 17, 2015

  It looks like a virus or other boo-boo has caught up with my tablet, so my time online is limited to when I have my laptop available. My friend the tech maharajah is going to pull his hair out while he fixes my non-techie mistakes, and I’ll be back next week.

  Like Loading...
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments

• Wholly Mother

  Posted at 3:34 am by kayewer, on May 10, 2015

  On Mother’s Day we remember that we all have one. Somebody had to carry us around, at an increasingly uncomfortable weight, for nine months and then go through the process of getting us into the outside world. It’s a feat of nature that never loses its fascination.

  Normally a doctor is standing by to catch human babies at birth. Giraffe babies have to survive a drop of several feet to the hard ground, because their mothers give birth standing up. Kangaroo babies crawl into their mother’s pouch by themselves immediately after birth, and it’s like a half marathon to get there. Turtles come out of the sand and head for the water and never see who brought them into the world. Seahorse mothers let the father carry the pregnancy (all women in favor of this for us, give a “whoop!” right now).

  And then there are human babies, who get caught in somebody’s hands and. . .well, are just there. We don’t do any amazing feats like crawl into a pouch or stand up after a great fall. Some babies are born in water if their mothers prefer that unique birthing method, but they don’t cross sandy beaches to get there; we lift them right out of the pool and swaddle them. Some babies’ first word is “daddy,” but not because dad was a seahorse and lost his six-pack during pregnancy.

  It just seems that the wrong parent gets the credit at strange moments in our lives.

  Mothers should have our thanks for just doing the nine month thing if nothing else. Sure they may be the best on earth or not so hot at parenting, but they did do the first step in motherhood. Here is a shout out to mothers. All of them.

  Like Loading...
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments

• Watered Up

  Posted at 2:37 am by kayewer, on May 3, 2015

  It was tough, but I finally got my hands on some Rosati’s Italian Ice. Every season, as soon as it feels even close to warm, the quest begins for seasonal water ice in the grocer’s. Some folks get their fill at Rita’s, as do I, but to me and mine the good stuff comes from a well established company out of Clifton Heights, PA. They’ve been around since 1912, and you have to have something on the ball to produce a product of this quality for 103 years. It’s classic. Yeah, it’s sugary, too. You know you want some.

  The first week the ice was in stock at the Acme (or as some locals call it, the “ack-a-me”), shelves were barren. It took until Thursday for some stores to restock, and then I was able to find lemon and cherry, my second and third choices.

  I go for the watermelon. And today it finally became mine.

  It comes in a tall, foil sealed cup, and it provides spoons full of heaven. Sure beats frozen custard, especially if on your weekends you have been caught short and missed the Mister Softee truck for the billionth time (Eddie Murphy was right: I think they do speed up on some blocks), or they show up when you’ve just started cooking dinner.

  Watermelon water ice. The ice in antiquity was snow retrieved from mountainous terrain and laced with honey to appease the rulers (the guys who fetched the stuff got to live to do it again). We get cups conveniently stored in freezer compartments in the “ack-a-me.” Little matter: it’s still one of life’s simple pleasures and worth waiting for all winter.

  Like Loading...
  Posted in Uncategorized | 0 Comments | Tagged Rosati's Italian Ice, water ice

• Feedback

  	Eden on Getting the Message
  	Eden on The Unasked Questions
  	Eden on And Her Shoes Were #9
  	Eden on The Poison Field
  	Eden on Final Tally