The same mentality that produced such antiquated ideas as the segregated South and modern terrorist splinter groups might well be designing costumes for your children to wear this Halloween. They may also be encouraging you to make bad choices for yourself, like “hoochie mama” outfits or Ebola protective gear. Come on, folks. Are we having fun or letting people make fun of us?
The idea of Halloween is to disguise in a manner to fool the dead–who are supposedly capable of returning to seek us out, or something like that–so they would not recognize us. If you have ever had a relative you hoped you would not have to meet again in the afterlife, you can see how this can be convenient. The costume market today is ridiculously overdone and overpriced. Whole stores spring up to sell outfits and yard decorations: eventually they become Christmas stores (with a corner or two reserved for Hanukkah). Costumes can be dangerous, full of tripping hazards and vision-obscuring masks. Candy is also problematic for those with allergies, which is why a “teal pumpkin” campaign is on to advertise if your home is providing safe toys or non-allergenic foods for trick-or-treaters. Your neighborhood can be tough to navigate if your streets department hasn’t been diligent with repairs. Curfews to keep children from trolling for goodies after dark helps, as do the in-school parties with plenty of supervision and guidelines to keep the parents from spoiling it all. Getting back to dressing anybody under one year old as a cigarette or joint: I would rather see an infant Freddy Krueger than that. Also, any costume which portrays a youngster as anything well beyond their maturity (like a short-skirted floozy) is, to put it in British vernacular, right out for me as well. Kids need that cushion of appropriate restraint to know they are protected and that one’s outerwear can tell a story that is read the wrong way. And to end that argument that “all the girls are wearing one,” get some quick pics posted on the parental social media circle and get on the same page before you plunk down a lot of money on the wrong costume. I miss the days of ghosts, witches, hobos and animals.
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