I survived 85 hours without a television. I know; some of you may be thinking, “I can go 85 days without looking at a television.” You’re welcome to go back to getting your news on Facebook®, in miniature, on your small-screen phone. Television is a fully-fledged resource and no longer the “idiot box” loathed by so many critics (many of whom are also on Facebook® right now playing Candy Creamer Story or something). There is real news on television. And Jeopardy!
Those of us who have grown up with depression-era parents know the value of something that still works, so the old television–square in height and breadth–gave us more than fifteen years of service, before dying of the infamous Black Screen of Death. It sat in state for 85 hours, then was ceremoniously carried out the door by me and Cletus the Cable Technician, and went to that great TV stand in the sky.
It had a false alarm one morning, in a blaze of muted colors. I had called the cable company at the first sign of the TV’s distress, and a nice telephone associate walked me through some resuscitation steps, and the TV rallied. I had set up an appointment and cancelled it because the danger seemed to be over, but just as suddenly, the next night the TV passed away. Cletus the Cable Technician couldn’t come sooner than four days from then, due to my idiotic cancellation of the original appointment, so we found other ways to amuse ourselves.
Without the usual distractions of television, we returned to simpler but effective survival skills such as card playing. I ended up with one 9 card in my hand for three consecutive rounds of gin rummy. I did some crocheting, Mother did some reading (finished a book) and gardening. I even introduced her to the joys of Windows8 tablet games. She is a mean TapTiles® board clearer. We got the news from the radio: it’s like listening to the television network news while in the other room, and just as informative if you don’t miss the visual effects most networks use on their broadcasts (like banners saying “Weather Changing,” or crawls at the bottom of the screen listing stock prices).
I did try to hook up another TV myself to save us time and sanity, but I’m not electronically adept. Though I followed the set’s instructions, I failed to see where the hookup directions left off the fact that one must attach the cable from the box in addition to the cable from the pole. Silly me. Silly directions. When the moment of rescue finally came, Cletus the Cable Technician spent about twenty minutes hooking us up.
After 85 hours we were back up and running, and we still had found within us the power to stay engaged and amused when there was no TV. I could do 85 days, but I’ll wait until summer reruns come on next year to try that.
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