The other night there was an interesting movie on Turner Classic Movies called “All That Heaven Allows” from 1955, starring Rock Hudson and Jane Wyman as a gardener and widow who fall in love and have to deal with social snobbery to find happiness. By today’s standards it’s rather tame. Word spread by telephone in those days, rather than instant posts on social media, but the message of love conquering all is timeless.
It’s what you might expect of a melodrama of that time: the town gossip envisions the stud-muffin young paid laborer servicing the lonely widow, and Wyman’s two young adult children make it practically impossible for her to follow her heart. The daughter has a minor problem with her boyfriend after rumors circulate, and she feels her mother doesn’t understand how important her own status is. How can you think of moving in with him, the son accuses, and get rid of the family home we’ve had for generations to move into a barn (which Hudson has painstakingly refurbished)? The town’s lecherous resident makes a move on Wyman and Hudson puts a stop to it, but he is the one who gets snubbed for it, not the jerk. Wyman breaks off their engagement. By Christmas, however, the son is getting a better job and is all for selling the house, and the daughter tells her mother she should not have taken her seriously for having an immature tantrum. Realizing she has let others dictate her future, she goes back to Hudson, who never gave up on her.
Why do we, as human beings in general, go so far out of our way to interfere with how others live their lives? It really isn’t our business. Even if somebody is doing something criminal, we have authorities for that, and it isn’t our place to step in. Now I’m not saying that you should not deal with an immediate danger (if somebody is going to injure a person needlessly, for example), but we always insinuate our own ideals to others and expect total conformity when such a thing is not at all possible. It is the differences that make us special; our ability to rise up to a challenge, make compromises when needed, sacrifice, stand firm or speak up, that defines the rich uniqueness of the human condition. We look at the redefining of the family, of human rights, of our humanity and inhumanity, and we cling with fear to old tenets that have outlived their shelf life.
I enjoyed watching that movie. Everybody lived happily ever after in spite of social snobbery. We should all be that fortunate.
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