Susan's Scribblings the Blog

I went to the movies with a friend of mine last night. We sat a few rows from the front in an IMAX theatre with 3D which, until we experienced it, we didn’t know what a mistake that was to sit so close. The sound turned our eardrums into colanders and I could almost smell the bad breath of every villainous vile creature onscreen (if we had Smell-O-Vision).

Of course the first few trailers were, as the theatre chain drily noted, not part of the IMAX experience. Meaning if you forgot your overpriced chocolate dobobbers, if you ran you might nab a box from the concession stand. We had already put on our 3D glasses (and I wondered whose noses they had sat upon before me), and I can tell you from my experience that the non-IMAX previews were no more or less exciting than the ones after we received the military command to put on our 3D glasses NOW.

We saw quite a few movie trailers for upcoming features, and frankly I found them all to be stupid. First of all, the theatre tacks on a reminder that the movie opens on such-and-such a date, taking the time and expense to insert the movie title for each one, in type so plain it’s obvious that they are pandering to those in the audience who might not read or missed the film’s title amid all the crash and bang and bodily injury inflicted in those few seconds of digital mishmash. Sometimes the work done to embellish a movie title could be better spent on scriptwriting.

Second, all the movies really seemed the same to me. A misfit, or two or twelve, find that they have the power to change the world they live in (usually post-apocalyptic or other realm not our own), so they train, gather their forces, have a few emotional moments in the arms of a loved one and then charge into the fray. Yeah, we’ve seen it, we’ve done it, and it got old after the tenth one.

Once the film’s title is revealed, near the end of the preview, there is usually a few more seconds of footage showing some desperate clash of titans or a giant ship or monster roaring into your face as you sit with your 3D glasses. If you didn’t go deaf in the first few seconds of the trailer, the last five will do it for sure. Plus your youngsters will have nightmares for weeks.

I’ve only gone to the movies once or twice a month lately, but these trailers, which are supposedly designed to make upcoming features seem exciting, are so formulaic and banal, I plan to go to none of the features advertised. The persons putting the previews together have given away all the key points of the film (not that they are in any way unique) and provided nothing novel to encourage me to come back.

Okay, maybe one exception: The Book of Life, an animated feature by Guillermo del Toro, had originality and held my interest. Also, it was pleasing to my poor punctured ears.