At work, we’re allowed to wear sandals between May and October as part of our summer dress code. I know a lot of people like to bare their feet in summer, but I find it a bit hinkie.
Feet are strange things, and they stop looking cute shortly after we first learn to walk as they get flatter and splay out and start the lifelong process of collecting icky stuff on them. Our toes seem to attract crud like Woodstock attracted hippies, and for some reason people like that. Or I should say they like that while they’re outside barefoot. After that, the hose or the faucet becomes a must-have to wash off the feet before the crud comes indoors. Believe me, it does anyway.
Sandals are also uncomfortable. In fact, most sandals seem to have been invented by somebody who is into self-flagellation, because flip-flops have a tendency to slap the bottoms of our feet as we walk. Why they’re called flip-flops is beyond me; they don’t flip or flop, but just slap. Sliding on puddles on linoleum floors, they make noises akin to armpit music or farting.
The little knobs that our big and second toes are supposed to surround to keep the sandals on our feet are also little torture devices. If they’re not smooth, or settle into the wrong place on the foot, the reward is chronic blisters galore. The current sandals also come with a toe cuff, usually a little band of leather surrounding the big toe in place of a knob. Same painful possibilities.
When working in an office environment, sandals can easily become the object of scrutiny, even to the point of having sandal panels to determine which styles are proper and which will send the wearer home to change into something more workplace appropriate. I feel that, if the footwear looks more gross than the foot it’s on, confiscate the offensive shoes and lend the poor schmuck a pair of black socks until quitting time. The dress code will be upheld (really, will anybody notice socks?) and nobody will have to look at splayed-out cruddy feet in a pair of examples of what not to wear to the office.
I do wear sandals on occasion, but I also wear hosiery to keep out crud, and I limit my choices to dressier types that surround my feet and have no knobs or rings. Sure I’m probably considered a prude playing it safe, but like I said, feet give me the hinkies, so I guess I’m one less cruddy badly shod pair of feet in the general population.
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