People always talk about the inevitability of death and taxes, and birthdays just hammer the point home that we’re one step closer to leaping the mortality line in the sand and landing in a place not like life as we’ve known it. No matter how many birthdays we may celebrate, it seems there is always at least one that stands out as “remember the year when you were this age and that happened?”
A coworker who just had a milestone birthday reminded me that chalking up another 365 days by your personal calendar isn’t all joy and candle blowing. Out of respect for her privacy, I won’t go into detail, but when she had finished the story I was glad to have had a sedate night at home on my birthday: after what she described as her natal hell day, it puts the strangeness of everyday life into focus.
Sometimes we wake up on our birthday and life just goes haywire from there. Maybe it’s the significance of a birthday, that one can anticipate well in advance, that sets us up for some tough times. Since we usually have family and friends involved, it rubs off on them, too. Whatever the cause, we spend 24 hours dealing with remembering how old we are, and ultimately somebody or something will get into the mix and muddle the whole thing up.
I have my own story. One year, we picked up my cake at the local bakery, only to find that they had given us a leftover holiday cake, at least ten days old, that was dry inside and on the verge of being a science project as it had been frozen. Luckily the cake was just for family, and we did get our money back. Compared to some stories I’ve heard, though, that one is a clunker in the bad birthday hall of fame.
The list I’ve heard includes delayed flights, conked out cars miles from anywhere, and a cruise ship that didn’t get to port until the last day of what would have been a six-day birthday vacation. I’ve heard of injured pets, kids with boo-boos requiring hospitalization, and somebody’s spouse whose leg was mistakenly pummeled by a weed whacker. There have been boozed up brothers, deodorant challenged in-laws and absentee teenagers who went out partying until the next day, having forgotten what date it was. Folks celebrating birthdays have gotten re-gifted former Christmas presents, melted chocolates (especially in August), burst bottles of bubbly left in a hot trunk too long and last-minute what-were-they-thinking gifts that would leave Dr. Phil scratching his head.
Other than Christmas, when else do we set ourselves up for such insanity? In the quest to have a perfect day, we often get shortchanged. Sometimes it might be a good idea to just let that day go and hold something private a day or so later, with just a few close people at your side in case a weed whacker seeks revenge.
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