Once the temperature climbs above 60 degrees, it seems the summer clothing starts coming out. Considering the winter we’ve just been through, it’s not surprising that folks want to dress down and disown anything remotely resembling clothing designed for warmth.
Unfortunately, this also means that ugly sandals come out in droves, and by the pair, no less.
I won’t even go into detail about those dreadful gladiator look sandals that lace above the ankle. And huarches have to be the most bizarre excuse for footwear I’ve ever seen.
At work, the policy allows for sandals but still is business casual. Defining it is a three-month challenge which ends unresolved just in time for the summer dress code to end in September. Generally business persons are not supposed to wear anything that would be used on the beach, but then the shoe manufacturers have brought out black patent sandals with thong toes, and the line in that beach sand is drawn yet again. I’ve yet to see a worker sent home because of a fashion mistake, but such faux pas happen daily somewhere in cubicle land, which is why smart people testing the policy waters bring a backup pair of footwear.
I never understood why people like to flog the bottoms of their feet with flip flops. Every step brings a slap of rubber, and in a crowd the hundreds of slaps start sounding like a mass tap-a-thon from a Broadway musical
Besides the red soles resulting from shoe self-flagellation, sandals tend to irritate the feet in at least one spot (and it seems the exclusive bane of women sandal wearers). A woman’s feet suffer more degradation in summer than in a stiletto pair of Manolos. Along with the requisite nail polish and weekly (or more) mani/pedi rituals, bandages and cotton balls are stuck on blisters between toes, callous files get worn down to nothing, and Dr. Scholl stock goes through the roof.
The parade of bare feet in summer is amusing for the casual observer. Even the ugliest toes are put in display (attached to feet with distinct tan lines). The fact that feet are exposed to more germs on the ground than ever doesn’t seem to matter (though logically more foot exposure should mean more bathing).
The only bare feet I have no issue with are kids’ adorable toes. Youngsters have nice feet, and nobody has to paint their toenails or squeeze them into orthopedic nightmares with thong toes. It seems adulthood demands more pain in the name of fashion, which is why I always watch the stock market to see how Dr. Scholl is doing to determine if the fashi0n trends are just right for decent sandal buying.