Susan's Scribblings the Blog

A writer from the Philadelphia area shares the week online.
Susan's Scribblings the Blog
  • Who the Heck is Kayewer?
  • Monthly Archives: May 2010

    • Holiday Weekend

      Posted at 1:37 am by kayewer, on May 30, 2010

      Why is it that when Americans get three days off after a dastardly winter and months of school and work make-up days, we all feel compelled to pack up and go someplace other than our homes?  Just when we were comfortable with all the fixing and spring airing-out we’ve done, we suddenly decide to escape to some B&B or hotel, risk sunburn and freak out the family pets by putting them up in kennels (or worse, in pet-friendly hotels where they can smell the remnants of other pets’ presence and freak out for a few days).

      Not only do we have to hope we’ve packed enough for the trip (including hubby’s laptop so he can stay on call at the office), we also have to pay up the nose for food, lodging and souvenirs that we’ll wind up giving to the Salvation Army in a few years anyway.

      It’s strange how somebody else’s hometown can seem like a fun place to visit if you decide to play the role of tourist for a few days.  The locals usually go about their business while you’re visiting.  They go to work, shop at the market and hit the local watering hole at night.  The tourists hang out at the historical landmarks, visit the gift stores and get plastered at the hotel nightclub.

      If you stay home for a holiday weekend, there is the requisite cookout on the grill the size of your indoor furniture and which costs enough to send your kid to a semester at Harvard.  The master of the grill is the man of the house:  you can pick him out of the crowd by the soot embedded in what is left of his eyebrows.  the food is set up by the women, who usually plan days in advance how to get the stuff bought the cheapest and stored in the fridge without cramping out the tofu and yogurt bought at deep discount the week before.

      This year I’m putting together potato salad and cole slaw (one for Sunday, and one for Monday) to go with the burgers, which we bought last week and managed to cram into the freezer, which was filled with frozen dinners which conveniently went on sale the week before.

      I don’t use mayonnaise; I use salad dressing.  Apparently that is a mark against my character, because most people seem to prefer mayo (though the salad dressing manufacturers seem to stay in business just fine).  I like mayo, but I use salad dressing when I cook for myself.  At least I won’t pay up the nose for my cole slaw at the hotel restaurant.  And once I’ve stuffed myself, I can sleep all weekend in a bed that nobody else has slept in, and I won’t have forgotten to pack my laptop.

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    • What Power Is

      Posted at 2:45 am by kayewer, on May 23, 2010

      Is it me, or are we too obsessed when it comes to power?  As children, we’ve all had the experience of having somebody hoard all the toys.  Some kids would cry, others would go in and beat the be-whoopie out of the other kid and take all the toys for their own, and occasionally one kid would get hold of one toy and leave the other kid holding the rest.  Now that is a smart child.  The child with one toy is still content, and the other still has a stockpile, but only has two hands to hold onto them, and legions of other kids who will annoyingly cry or come in hungry for some be-whoopie time.

      Power isn’t about having all the money or having all the answers or fifty jillion legions backing you up.  Nor is power about being the person with one opinion whom everybody backs out of their own hunger for status or fear of not belonging if they digress.  These are the problems causing terrorism and bullying and drug wars and everything else wrong with the world.

      The horrifying part is that some people think the only way to hold onto power is to kill everybody who doesn’t agree with their opinions.  The terrorists who blow themselves up may take out a dozen people with one bomb, just to make sure a dozen fewer people don’t walk around not believing in a particular interpretation of an idea.  Unfortunately the bomber also takes themselves out, so it seems awkward to be so desperate for a certain way of life that nobody else is allowed to exist who doesn’t believe in it.

      If we want to put religion into the picture, the duality of good and evil, and the existence of each in spite of the other, is proof that killing is not the way to have power.  If killing off all the good by evil or evil by good were the solution, it would have happened by now. They both have to exist, in varying quantities, for the world to be balanced.   True power is having enough to hold onto with your own two hands, others can have some as well, and nobody is coming to beat the be-whoopie out of you for what you have.

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    • What My Writing Looks Like From Here

      Posted at 2:10 am by kayewer, on May 16, 2010

      The most fundamental opinion of writers might be that we are our own worst enemies.  We pick ourselves apart while we’re working, we fuss over other people’s opinions and, because we frequently work alone, we tend to be a tad off on the whole socializing thing.  We produce pages of imagination or interpretation onto a screen or (for nostalgic novelists) paper.  We may look at it later and think it’s terrible, and it gets rewritten or shredded.  We may think it’s okay, but there is always room for improvement.  Perfection is elusive.  Between the screen and my eyes, my writing looks forever like a revision project.

      The difference between a writer and an actor is the stage:  an actor steps into the danger zone and thrives on applause or falls to the boos, while the writer may not know who is applauding or booing until the book sale figures come out (if you get a book deal to start with).

      My writing life has an extra obstacle in the way, since I’m an adult college student still struggling to get that degree.  I’ve spent the past semester writing opinion papers (and two short stories) for a required literature class, while my best ideas for my novel in progress got pushed aside like a needy child.  I was determined to get a decent grade, especially since the instructor also happens to be my advisor.

      At writer’s group about two months ago, I did manage to do a reading of part of a chapter rewrite I had worked on.  The piece got roundly pooh-poohed.  They wanted the minor characters in a short scuffle that started the chapter to have names so the readers could keep track of them.  I had tried to identify them as “instigator” and “challenger” because they were tertiary characters who wouldn’t be seen again.  The group didn’t like that.

      That started a whole round of self critiquing and doubts about my own ability to communicate a whole adventure to a (supposedly) anxious flock of potential readers.  I hoped my faux pas was just an exception, and that the rest of my work is not pooh-worthy.

      When it comes to getting feedback on writing, friends and family will either stroke your ego or be so brutally honest with their opinions, it can be dangerous to rely on them exclusively.  Writing groups can help as long as they are not on such a friendly level with you that they risk hurting your feelings if they don’t like something you’ve written.  The trail of tears–the rejection circuit once a writer begins submitting their work for consideration–is the true test of one’s own sense of self-worth.  To get there, though, I have to finish the novel.

      Once classes ended, I figured out what to do with my two dueling characters:  I reassigned their identities to a character who appeared earlier, and an interloper with a decidedly short lifespan, to whom I bestowed a name.  Sure the dude will get killed within two pages, but it did boost my feelings of inadequacy to know that I could afford to “birth” and kill a character that way.  I won’t read it to the group again, but just continue on the path to completion.  I’m almost there.  At least it looks like it from here.

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    • Office Dress Codes: Cold Storage Cubicles

      Posted at 2:00 am by kayewer, on May 9, 2010

      Sometime between the age of heavy metal desks and cubicles, office air conditioning became impossible to manage.  My office has a temperature range so widely abnormal, you can go from Miami to Siberia in a few steps.  At one end of the office, women on various rungs of the menopause ladder strip down to within being in violation of the summer dress code, while a few feet away others are wrapped in blankets (really).

      I sit near the boss, and he wants the air cranked up.  I keep a sweater handy and use it often, with sips from a hot container of tea,  to keep away the threat of hypothermia.  The consensus is that the law regarding cold summer offices is exclusively a male dominated process.  That makes sense, because offices are generally still male dominated places.  If that is the case, why don’t men work on roads more often in winter than summer, if they hate sweating so much?  Go figure.

      If the office dress code is liberal enough in summer, the men can take off their suit jackets and still complain they are hot.  Women get to wear short sleeves, but often they have to cover up with blankets.

      The summer dress code for women has been a challenge, and it makes me glad not to be on the committee that has to establish what not to wear in the office environment.  The code breaks down the legality of clamdiggers and capri pants, the horrors of any kind of denim (skirts included), and whether a toe thong is allowed as part of dress sandals.  Men get to take off their jackets and avoid tee shirts, and bare feet in huaraches are out of the question.

      Meanwhile the air continues to blast away to keep the men, and our sensitive computers, happy.  The rest of us enjoy the winter of 2010 all over again.

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